LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #279: Electrocutioner's Song Part Two
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Mar 19 14:16:43 PDT 2023
And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.
And here's where you can find Electrocutioner's Song as well as other
LNH Crossovers:
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Crossovers/
And its the next parts of -- The Electrocutioner's Song!
The Writers for this Crossover are:
Jef "The KaTeFan(tm)" Kolodziej
Todd "Scavenger" Kogutt
Dave "Dvandom" Van Domelen
and Raymond "wReam" Bingham
First Off we have CRISIS OF INFINITE CLONES #1 by Dave Van Domelen!
Wait! Is this Part Four?! What happened to Part Three?! And will
wReam bomb Dave's dorm room because of it?! Will Sig.Lad stiff his
taxi driver out of a tip?! And will this incur the wrath of the
X-OVER MEN?!!
And Finally we have ULTIMATE NINJA #1 by Raymond "wReam" Bingham!
Oh, so that's where the third part was! Will it still make sense
if you read the fourth part before it?! Will the Ultimate Ninja
have no choice, but to kill all his teammates if they keep accusing
him of being the traitor?! And is it time for Table and Chair to make
all their LNH and LNV action figures go kissy kissy with each other?!!
Find out in...
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #279
=====================
Electrocutioner's Song Part Two
=====================
_______________________________________________________________________________
CRISIS OF INFINITE CLONES #1 - Part Four of Electrocutioner's Song
==============================================================================
+-------------------------+ +----------------------------------------+
|||/////||||\\\\\\\|||||||| | Memor-X, X-treme close-up of eye: |
|///// oooo \\\\\\|||||| | |
|//// oooo \\\\\\||||| | Oh ye of much detail and little |
|||| ooo |||||||||| | detail! Hundreds of lines of art |
|\\\\ //////||||| | and not a one for writing! You have |
|\\\\\ //////|||||| | no identity yet possess all identities|
|||\\\\\||||////////||||||| | but no character yet can assume any |
|||||\\\\\\////////|||||||| | character! Oh ye of little face! |
|-------------------^^^^^^| | And tiny heads! You rake in dough, |
| \ ------------- | | for you are as pliable as it is. |
| \ \ \ \ \ \ | +----------------------------------------+
| \ \ \ \ \ \|
| \ \ |
+-------------------------+
=============================================================================
A bane wind blows across the surface of a desolate world, a world that has
seen empires fall and heroes die. A world you thought you'd never have to read
about again except maybe in flashbacks in Sarcastic Lad's origin story.
H'yyydde'uz. (Note the revisionist post-Beige Noon spelling!)
In a shattered fortress, in a forgotten subbasement, in a poorly lit
soundstage, there lay five dust-encrusted tubes. A faint light was blinking on
one of them. That tube shook slightly. Then more heavily. Then cursing was
heard from within. It sounded much like, "Stupid latch!" Suddenly a fist
thrust up through the glass, a fist wearing a vaguely familiar looking
glove....
* * * *
Manga Man lurked in the shadows outside the LNHQ. The fools had thought
to entrap him with Harmony Gold Robotech! Ha! He was MANGA MAN, not ANIMAGE!
Badly dubbed animation such as Robotech caused him pain, it is to be certain,
but any sapient being would feel pain at the pseudo-Minmei's singing. No, he
had fooled them all these years into thinking that any American-butchered
Japanese artwork would render him helpless. In truth, only badly translated
Manga and Robert DeJesus art could affect him. He was glad RAClipso had clued
him into the "Fake Weakness" trick lo those many issues past. But now he was
free, and he would teach that insipid Plot King a thing or two about true art!
"MANGA MAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING FREE? AND DON'T THINK I CAN'T SEE YOU,
LURKING IS NOT ONE OF YOUR POWERS!"
"So, weakminded American who needs such crutches as plots! I have you
now! For I have violated plot structure by attacking you in Part Four before
Part Three was even written! Your doom is near! YaTAH!"
With that and a burst of speedlines and blurred limbs, Manga Man attacked
the weakened Plot King!
"No...must...have...plot! Order MUST be maintained!" Taking advantage of
the several panels of speedlines Manga Man was passing through, Plot King
pulled out his Creative Writing Text, copyright 1913, before plots were deemed
antideconstructionist and drew strength from it. Then the two paradoxical
paradigms collided in something resembling a dialectic.
* * * *
Back on H'yyydde'uz, a figure cloaked in shadow despite the harsh
soundstage spotlights emerged from his tube and coughed at the cloud of dust
thus raised.
"HAckhAckKaHUUK! Who gave the housekeeping staff the day off?" mused the
mysterious figure. Tantalizing glimpses of him emerged into the light...he
looked VERY familiar. Yet you cannot place him. Anyway, everyone alive (and
most of the dead ones) was either A: fighting Marvel_Zombie Lad (or however its
spelled now), B: searching for Sidekick Man, C: Investigating the mysterious
goings on at City Hall or D: wondering if they were still dead from Seize
Dangerous. <Insert quick kaleidoscope of quarter-page panels showing scenes
from the previous three issues, including the one not written yet>
"Are you done fulfilling your obligations to the other plotlines yet?"
impatiently asked the mysterious figure.
Yes. And stop talking to the narrator.
"Sorry." The figure looked both ways then whispered, "say, can i
introduce myself and open the other tubes yet?"
No, we have to change scenes again.
"Aw, sh..."
* * * *
A taxi pulled up in front of LNHQ. Sig.Lad stepped out of it and said,
"What do I owe you?"
"Well, three crossposts and that string of red lights...looks like $15."
Sig.Lad grumbled an fished fifteen bucks out of his pockets. "Here."
"What, no tip?"
"NO. Not after you took that detour through Seize Dangerous and got me
killed and zombified and whatever else happened. I don't wanna think about it.
Now get outta here."
The cabbie grumbled and decided it was a damn good thing he overcharged
that cheapskate "hero" by ten bucks. The cab drove off.
Sig.Lad caught some speed lines out of the corner of his eye, but when he
turned to look they were gone. Oh well, he thought. He carefully avoided the
blood left on the steps by Integrity Quest mob-members and rang the bell.
When no one answered, he pounded on the door with his Day The Earth
Cringed sig.file.
The door opened. "Hey, cut it out! I was knitting!" said Sidewinder as
he opened the door.
"Where are everyone?" asked Sig.Lad.
"That's where *is* everyone," replied Sidewinder.
"Since when did you become Grammar Lad? Never mind, I want an answer to
the question before you digress again."
"Well, they're all off on missions. I think I might have been on one of
the teams, but, well, I got sidetracked. What can I do you for?" asked
Sidewinder as he tossed his knitting over into a corner.
"Well, I just got out of my one-shot, and got here as fast as I could for
the crossover. I think I saw some speed lines...is that part of the
crossover?"
"Probably just Manga Man. I was just watching the security tapes showing
him escaping. I didn't know there were manga about lockpicking and VCR
reprogramming.... I wouldn't worry about it though. Manga Man never can keep
to a coherent plot long enough to do any real damage. And the Oreo delivery
truck ran over whatever he was planning on using on us. Come on inside and we
can see if we can sneak off with any of Sarcastic Lad's Oreos before..."
"TOO LATE!" shouted an armored figure who had just popped up from nowhere
(okay, he had been crouched behind a mailbox). He was dressed in armor that
looked extremely dangerous...both to his foes and to himself when he tried to
don it. All sorts of blades and spikes stuck out from it at odd angles, and
little squares of toilet paper adorned most of the exposed areas of skin. He
bore a Super Soaker 2000, which by extrapolation from the other Supersoakers
was a squirtgun on the Liefeld scale.
"Have you ever known what it was like to be denied a mother's love? Any
mother's? Have you ever known what it was like to never suckle at a mother's
breast, or even a girlfriend's? Have you ever needed to wear a diaper at age
34 because you never had loving parents to toilet train you? Huh? Well HAVE
YOU????" demanded the man.
"Huh?" asked both Net.Heroes in unison.
"Well I HAVE! And I have the psychiatrist's bills to prove it! I am
Sufferyng (tm and don't you forget it!)!!!! And I have come to seek my revenge
on you Sig.Lad!"
"Why? What did I ever do? I've lead a clean life!" whined Sig.Lad in his
best Goon Show imitation.
"It's not what you *did*, it's what I will by fiat declare you will do to
me in some alternate future which won't come to pass because of the events of
this storyline something that will make me what I am today, which is a total
loser!"
While Sig.Lad stood stunned by the incomprehensible grammar of that
exclamation and Sidewinder thought to himself that Sufferyng was merely trying
to displace his inadequacies onto Sig.Lad, Sufferyng shot Sig.Lad with the
squirt gun.
Sig.Lad spluttered, "Hey! They have laws against that sort of thing! At
least, I think they do...isn't this really supposed to be a parody of Boston?"
Sidewinder pondered, "No, I think it's supposed to be New York City...hey,
what's happening to you?"
"I don't...euuurgh! Oop! Ack!" Sig.Lad collapsed in a goopy heap.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The TransMode Virus works! Now his mutations will be
so unstable that he will be vulnerable to the madness that eventually turns him
into Acton LOOOOOOOF!" Sidewinder had rammed into Sufferyng at full speed.
"OWSHARPYPAINOORTCH!" shouted the lacerated Sidewinder, who immediately
digressed into alt.first.aid.
Sufferyng had meanwhile disappeared into thin air (oh alright, he crouched
back down behind the mailbox if you *must* know).
The door opened and RosterwReam looked out. "Oh SH*T! I gotta save
Sig.Lad! If he keeps mutating like this I'll *NEVER* get his entry finished!"
RosterwReam scooped up Sig.Lad using his copy of the roster as a, well,
scoop, and rushed him inside. Unfortunately, since he was using the roster as
a scoop, he couldn't refer to it to find the MedLab. Just then (HA! I bet you
thought I was gonna say "suddenly"!) Sidewinder reappeared, all bandaged up and
with a bucket in hand.
"Quick! Dump him in this! Now follow me! I think I know where the
medlab is!" With that, Sidewinder blasted off faster than RosterwReam could
follow. However, with his roster freed up he used the map to find the medlab.
He arrived just as Sidewinder was pouring Sig.Lad into a tube (hey, they
were on sale at Props'R'Us), where he coalesced into Slap.Sig.
"WOO!" said Slap.Sig, in his one line of throwaway dialogue.
"Don't hit that button!" shouted RosterwReam.
Sidewinder turned abruptly, hitting the button with his elbow. "Which
button?"
"That one," replied Roster with an air of defeat as the tube hummed and
suddenly flashed brightly. When their vision cleared, the two net.heroes saw
the tube was empty.
"Nice going. You put him in Doc Stomper's Experimental Gene Scrambler and
Random Teleporter," commented RwR.
"What the hell would Doc Stomper be doing with one of those?"
"I dunno, he's some kind of comicbook doctor. Well, now Sig.Lad's
screwed. I mean, the thing is labeled, 'Not A Medtube,' you idiot!"
Sidewinder's face fell. "Oops."
* * * *
In the ruined fortress on H'yyydde'uz, five figures stood dramatically in
the ruined throne room. They were drawn with incredible detail, with lots of
little noodling lines the fanboys adore. Yet for all that detail, they could
have been any team of net.heroes. To be totally generic yet excrutiatingly
detailed was the paradox that hinted at their great power. For these were the
X-OVER MEN!!!!!
Yes, the X-over Men, led by Memor-X, able to imitate the shallow surface
of any hero team for purposes of making a crossover possible even when those
heroes were obviously totally unable to be in it due to their own continuity!
They were the last, greatest creation of the Crossover Queen, and had they been
unleashed while she was still in the real net.universe she would have been
unstoppable. An early version had been released too early and destroyed. But
this time, it would work. And the crossover energy generated would surely free
the Crossover Queen, at the expense of the LNH....
"Multipl-X! Prepare for X-Over!" shouted Memor-X. In a burst of prism
covers and metallic ink, the group left H'yyydde'uz for Net.ropolis.
* * * *
WILL Sig.Lad be found before his mutation progresses beyond my ability to
write him out of this corner? Does Sufferyng actually wear bladed Depends?
Will Manga Man defeat Plot King? Will wReam bomb my dorm room for posting
this? For answers to all these questions (except maybe the last) stay tuned to
alt.comics.lnh!
***************************************************************************
Electrocutioner's Song
part III
"Padding Padding plotpoint Padding Padding!"
***************************************************************************
+--------------------------+ +-------------------------+
| | | ACTON LORD graces the |
| /| | | Nonsense files... |
| ##### / | | | |
| */^V^\* / '| | | Following the law |
| (< O O >) /_/_|cton | | that keeps you captive |
| \\/^\// Lord | | makes your goals almost |
| \#"#/ | | a paradox. You live |
| ,---|###|----. | | for something you hope |
| / +---+ / /\ | | not to achieve and then |
|| / \ A// \ | | what will you do when |
||\__/\o \ // | | | you have achieved it? |
|| || | \_^^^_| | | The mighty shall weep |
|/\ || |o < |OOOO| > | | in the shadow of thy |
| \/\ \ < ()--/| > | | mischief, but you shall |
| / | |o |VVV/ | | fracture the final word.|
| / \_\____\/\/ | | |
|__________________________| |_________________________|
* * * * * * * * *
"How can it be that they have already put Manga Man out of business!"
Table marveled. "This bumbling group of heroes has somehow managed to foil
every plot of revenge! How can this be?" He turned to Chair.
Chair was in an impossible pose as she responded to his question.
"Can it be that they are the good guys and under universal law 34.8.2873A of
Comic Code Authority the good guys always win." Chair held up a magazine she
was reading and then tried to point out the article.
"Never! This is the comic code authority of Disney productions! Of
course that's what it says. I will destroy the LNH! I will I will I will!"
Table threw a tantrum. "I know how to do it! I have the perfect plan!"
snicker...
* * * * * * * * *
"NOOOOOOO!" Ultimate Ninja cried in fear. "NOT AGAIN!"
Ultimate Ninja looked around the room. The whiners and complainers
the heroes of disorganization, the LNH had come for him. "I don't want to
have to kill you again! Nooooo! How can you say that I am a traitor!?"
"We know the truth! You must be destroyed or we will do it for you!"
the LNH chanted in unisom.
"Never! I will live in solitaire before I let you destroy me!"
grabbing clusters of Ninja Bush Ultimate Ninja led an attack that could scarce
be described. Body after body of the LNH Hero roster crumpled over in deformed
shapes and mangled forms. They died before they could think to defend
themselves. The entire LNH lay at the feet of Ultimate Ninja.
Just then a laugh came from inside Ultimate Ninja's head. "We did it
old friend. This time it is no trick! We have destroyed the LNH for good!"
Ultimate Ninja ran to the mirror that had materialized as if on cue and
looked in with horror. Inside he could hardly see himself. The image was
super imposed with anothers. The other figure became more clear. The image of
his arch nemesis and tormentor: ACTON LORD! The image dove from the mirror and
shards of glass and silver flew from the image, not to mention other neat
visual effects! Ultimate Ninja lurched backwards in horror and grabbed the
image, arching his back flinging it in fear.
NNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNN OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Neat Splash Page (with no background I might add)>
Ultimate Ninja screamed as he reached out and grabbed the image! In a
beautiful splash page where instead of Acton Lord there was very confused
Typo Lad, who Ultimate Ninja proceeded to remove his hands from around the
throat of. "Yew tuld mee thit I shud wayke yew wen wee arroved att Citty Hal."
Typo Lad gasped for air.
"Sorry Typo Lad, I have been having no end to these nightmares lately."
Ultimate Ninja said as sensitively as a ninja could (which doesn't sound too
sincere, but he knew he was.) "I should be more careful, since my powers are
Ninja and a ninja is made to kill. I will try to keep better control."
"Hey Boss! We're here!" Parking Karma Kid announced as he took the
best parking spot in the City Hall Parking Lot. It was right next to a red
pickup truck with the licence plate Z-Men.
"Ok, here's the plan. Since we have no idea who these people are and
they might be hostile, we had best be careful. Don't do anything stupid."
Ultimate Ninja turned to Parking Karma Kid, CheeseCake-Eater Lad, and Cannon
Fodder. "Now I have taken you three with me mainly because you three need
all the training in the world and I am afraid that you aren't going to get it
unless you come on some real missions."
CheeseCake Eater Lad spoke up. "We appreciate you taking the time to show
us some tricks of the trade."
"Well I dunno if I need any help in what I do, but maybe your training
will help me stay alive longer between episodes." Cannon Fodder said
hopefully. "Besides I think I would like to cash in my 18th life insurance
policy and so I needed a ride to City Hall anyway."
"Ok Typo Lad and Halls Jordan and I will lead. You three stay in the
back and try not to get killed." Ultimate Ninja commanded.
They got out of the truck and headed to the City Hall.
* * ** * * ** *
Just then in ohio a certain dorm room and building was incinerated by a
thermo-Nuclear device. The casualties were catastrophic. The only
hero/villain to die from it though was one who's initials were commonly known
as DVD or more recently D"D"D... wReam grimaced sinisterly as the glow of the
flames and destruction was broadcast on the news.
* * * * * * * * *
Table smiled and took Chair in his arms. "I have the perfect plan, my
dear. Come with me." She had no choice since he was carrying her in his huge
wooden arms. "This is my latest creation." Table pulled the curtain
surrounding a small booth in the corner. Upon the table in the booth were a
set of tiny plastic figures and piles of cards. Chair excitedly leaped from
Table's arms and ran to the toys.
"Why, Table! They look like yours and my favorite LNH characters! And
with these cards I will never forget how each character is special! They are
so neat! Look honey!" she picked up the action figure of Rebell Yell and
Lurking Girl and smiled. "Let's Go play doctor." She said holding up Rebell
Yell's figure and saying in a deeper voice, then she held up Lurking Girl's
figurine and said. "No! I think I like Ultimate Ninja better." Then grabbing
the Ultimate Ninja figurine she said in a voice nothing like Ultimate Ninja's
but she was guessin' ,since she's never heard it. "No I have no time for love
I am a NINJA!" then looking up to the furniture man she loves with childlike
twinkle she says. "Oh darling they are so cute! The kids will love them!"
"No! You Fool! It is not to make the kids happy!? Don't you see?!
It's only the beginning! First I release these figures! Then I release
T-Shirts! I release The trading Cards! I release figurines of the Cute and
FUZZY LNH not to mention LNH Babies!! That's Right this is only the beginning
of my diabolical plan." Table gloated. "Now you may ask, but others have
tried this and failed!? Why should I expect to do any better!?" Chair looked
up with a look of bewilderment. (she obviously had no clue.) Table Continued.
"Yes, that is right! Even Acton Lord has tried it, but he has failed like all
the others! Mainly because he has only thought on one level!" Getting
enthused he turned to the back end of the booth where he drew a new curtain
that when removed revealed. "My Villains Collection!" All sorts of tiny
figurines were within. It had every imaginable villain in it.
"Oh! Table!! Look! It's a little Acton Lord!" Chair bubbled with
enthusiasm as she grabbed the Ultimate Ninja figure from the hero table and the
Acton Lord figure from the villains and started to press them together as if
they were attacking each other. Then she got bored and looked for something on
the villain table, but she couldn't find it. "Where is your figure? Where is
mine!?"
"Don't you get it!? We will not become the overhyped scum that they
will become!? While we rake in the bucks for this mess we will also be
preparing to battle them, while all their egos get bigger and bigger!"
"Drat. And I wanted to see you as a cute little plastic toy!" pouted
Chair. "Honey, I recognize all these villains here. Acton Lord, Y-Plex Burp,
PlotChopper, Dr. KillFile, Crossover Queen, Defacto, and the Alt.ra fandom
thingy do, but who is this guy?" Chair held up the figure of a metal plated
priest like character. Table took the figure and held it up high.
"My dear. Do you not recognize my old arch nemesis?" Table turned
dramatically and naturally spouted the villains name on the last panel as to
add an additional dramatic effect...
"MR. MINISTER!!"
* * * * * * * * *
"Rebel Yell! My dear friend! You have come to rescue me!" sang a
chorus of Marvel Zombie Lads to Rebel Yell. Rebel Yell stood perplexed as he
surveyed the situation.
"Reb. There must be hundreds of them!? Which one is the real Marvel
Zombie Lad, or is there one?" whispered Lurking Girl. "Now what do we do?
They will never all fit into the Head Quarters!"
"Oh Rebel Yell! Take us Home Please! Please! Table Did this to me!
I hope you will get revenge on him! We certainly plan on it!" The Marvel
Zombie Chorus said.
"Well now what do we do?" Cliche Dude asked stumped.
"We go after the one responsible!" Rebel Yell declared confidently.
The entire group present all said the same word...
"TABLE!"
* * * * *
SideWinder was fed up with the group of losers he was sent out to find.
For some reason he had this sinking suspicion that he should appear in episode
number 4 without his friends so he left California Kid, Occultism Kid, Browsing
Boy, The Forgetting One, Organic Lass, Catalyst Lass, Time Waster Lad, Dr.
Stomper and Sig.File Lad to go find some purpose in his life. Leaving really
wasn't all that hard. It was really quite simple. In fact it wouldn't even be
noteworthy except for that fact that some moron in episode #4 was going to use
him when he was being used elsewhere, so this was simply politics.
The group led by Sig.File Lad were no closer to finding SideKick Lad
Then they were before they started this whole fiasco, and were getting really
tired of looking.
"You know we ought to turn SideKick Lad into a newt! That would teach
him!" Occultism Kid fumed.
"Oh, Come on. You can't blame him. He may be able to explain all the
appearing Sidekicks in recent issues of LNH. Let's not give up yet." said
Catalyst Lass.
"Yeah. Like... Ummm What was I talking about?" The Forgetting One
contributed.
And so the group was no closer to the truth than they were before they
started, although they probably should have noticed that Table was leaving the
Big.City Mall, They didn't.
***
"Boy! That was close!" Table said to Chair. "Those LNHers are
everywhere!"
"Honeylubkins? I just thought of something." Chair looked at Table a
bit frightened.
"What darling ookyshnookums?" Table replied, a bit shocked that Chair
was actually thinking for herself.
"Well SugarlovemuffinLambchopookystuddude, Won't releasing these
figurines and comercial toys make us enemies to both the LNH and LNV and every
other cretinous-wretch-puke-barfous villain that we comercialize?"
"Do not worry PassionPot, they will never guess who is doing this. Why
I have never had a bright idea in my life, its an act I have been doing since I
was a young poplar. This plan cannot fail!"
"I guess you're right. Besides we have already shipped to all the
malls and toystores in the net.universe. I guess it's too late to back out
now, huh?"
* * * * *
"OK. City Hall looks abandoned." Halls Jordan said unsuspectingly.
"Maybe M-T Lad has been working a bit to hard."
"Yeah. All that's here is a cute little kitty." Cannon Fodder said.
picking up the a snarled old cat with one eye.
"Don't touch that Cat!" Ultimate Ninja said in an uptight cautious
voice.
"How could anyone suspect anything bad from a kitty like this."
Cannon Fodder rubbed the cat on the head and instantly his body began flying
apart. The cat in a flash of lightning had dismembered Cannon Fodder in all
the right places. It then stood in the heap of Cannon Fodder and said "MEOW!"
"Ultimate Ninja reacting as fast as he could pushed CheeseCake Eater
Lad and Parking Karma Kid away from the feline menace and then with a ninja
kick punted the cat three city blocks.
"MRRRRRRRREEEEEEEeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooowwwwwwwww......" The cat was
gone, but in its place stood an unlikely band of costumed fools.
A leaderly type sounded the battle cry as Typo Lad and Halls Jordan
flanked Parking Karma Kid and CheeseCake Eater Lad. Ultimate Ninja led the
group front and center.
"Z-team! They attacked our teammate! They must pay!"
Ultimate Ninja grabbed a fist full of Ninja Bush in one hand and his
trusty Ginsu Katana Blade in the other and said.
"Let's show these loosers who the real heroes on the block are!
Z-Team! Prepare to eat your entrails!!"
*******************************************************************************
How was that?
wReam...
Ultimate Ninja of LNH!
P.S. Now Dave, Dont you wish you had waited? :-P
==========
Next Week: Electrocutioner's Song Part TWO!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
More information about the racc
mailing list