8FOLD: Reign Morgana # 3, "You Can't Punch Eldritch Nonsense"

[Amabel Holland]

After a decade of superheroics, KATE MORGAN finds herself in control
of strange and eldritch forces beyond all mortal ken -- and that
includes her own! Thus begins the


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# NUMBER 3 - "YOU CAN'T PUNCH ELDRITCH NONSENSE"#
# ------- [8F-216] ------------ [PW-60] ------- #

-------------- HOUSE MORGANA --------------------

Kate Morgan (SHIMMER), age 30. She/her.
The Queen of Cups. The ghost who never died. The darkness, reflected in light.

Simon Morgan, age 20. He/him.
Kate's brother. The boy who must be lost.

Melody Mapp (DARKHORSE), age 21. She/her.
Simon's lover. Kate's friend. The runner. The tower, reversed; the
pale rider, reversed.

Pilar "Pill" Garcia, age 34. She/her.
Kate's protector. The collector. The knower. The laughter in the dark.

Jonah Jacobs (KLUTZ), age 26. He/him.
Kate's lover. The cursed man.

Claire Belden (RAINSHADE), age 31. She/her.
Kate's enemy. Kate's friend. The light, reflected in darkness. The one
who borrows. The weaver of webs.

Cembalo, a kitten. She/her.
Kate's cat. The vicious teeth. The curled tail. The black in the night.

-------------------------------------------------

The soft lazy dawn, strained through the picture window, trickles into
Kate's living room. As it does, the shape in the dark becomes a shape
in the light, just as inchoate, just as impossible to describe, just
as painful to look at. But now it shimmers and looks small, trapped
within the circle of salt, awaiting its execution.

   This is a grim way to start the morning after her birthday. "I need
some tea," she says, starting to stand. Her legs wobble.

   Pill and Jonah catch her before she falls. "You've been up all
night," says Pill, "and the magic has taken a toll. Jonah, get her
some tea and some breakfast?"

   Kate remembers the last time Jonah tried to do something in her
kitchen. "Better be the other way around," she says to Pill.

   Pill looks at Jonah, who smiles apologetically.

   "Yeah, that tracks." Pill heads for the kitchen, giving the shape
in the light a wide berth. Cembalo follows, stopping only to hiss at
the shape.

   "So," says Jonah, "other than all this, how was your birthday?"

   Kate bursts out laughing. "Other than everything? It was lovely."
She kisses his cheek. "Thank you. I needed that."

()

Kate is sipping her tea by the time Simon and Melody come cheerfully
in through the front door. The indescribable shape twists around,
looking at them without eyes, skittish and agitated.

   "Is this a bad time?" says Simon.

   "Well, it's not a great time," says Kate. "But last night would
have been worse. The short version -- and Pill, you can correct me if
I'm wrong about any of this?"

   "Oh, with great pleasure."

   "There's some kind of big scary evil magic, uh, thing? Not sure
what yet. End of the world stuff."

   "What else is new," says Melody. It's not a question.

   "Well, what's new is that I've apparently been chosen by some
ancient magic to stop it. I'm supposed to, like, inherit said ancient
magic? Something like that?"

   "Something like that," says Pill.

   "Whether or not I'm this person," begins Kate.

   "You are," says Pill.

   "Whether or not I am," says Kate again, "the big scary evil magic
thing thinks I am."

   "BSEMT," suggests Simon. "Big Scary Evil Magic Thing, BSEMT."

   Kate ignores him. "And so, it sent this thing," she gestures toward
the shape that is not a shape, "to kill me before I can get whatever
mystical what-not that's supposed to be coming my way. It was pretty
touch and go for a while, but we trapped it last night, and as soon as
I finish my tea, I'm going to kill it."

   "Kill it?" says Simon, going pale.

   "It's not human," says Kate. "Also, it ate my piano."

   "Okay, that's fair."

   "Which I think brings us up to the present. Pill, any notes?"

   "No, I think that about covers it," says Pill.

   "So," says Melody, "I missed the part where you called the
Daylighters for help."

   "You can't punch eldritch nonsense," says Kate. "Believe me, I've tried."

   "You have a sword," observes Simon.

   "Oh, right, I guess we forgot that part," says Kate. "Yes, ancient
magic, has tasted the blood of Venus, et cetera. Also the cat is
magic? Thank you for the cat."

   "Yes!" says Simon, pumping his fist in the air.

   "You still owe me an actual present."

   (About this he is less enthused.) "So, uh, this thing. Hurts to look at it."

   "Better not to," says Pill. "Especially without mystical training."

   Simon nods, pretending that makes sense. "Can you use it to figure
out what the BSEMT is?"

   Kate looks to Pill.

   "It's possible," says Pill after a moment.

   Kate nods. "At the very least, it'll stop Simon from trying to make
BSEMT happen."

()

Summon, bind, ask, banish. These are the four steps for evocation. The
first isn't relevant. The second has been done.

   This leaves the ask. Kate may ask one question of the shape. As
soon as it answers, the circle that binds it will be broken. The shape
will be free, wild. Dangerous. More dangerous, perhaps, than it was
last night.

   "Which is where the banish comes in," explains Kate.

   "I thought you were going to kill it," says Melody.

   "Trapped within the circle, I can do that," says Kate.

   "Ah," says Melody. "And if it answers your question, it's free."

   "Right," says Kate. "In which case the best I can do is banish it.
Which I'll have to do quickly."

   "But what if it lies?" asks Simon.

   "It can't," says Pill. "Bound within the circle, it must answer
true. But that doesn't mean it will answer fully or usefully or even
coherently."

   "Like, honest gibberish?" says Simon, trying to wrap his head around it.

   "More like cryptic portents and metaphors," says Pill. "Kate, do
you know the story of the second door?"

   Kate nods. "But I doubt they do. Do you wanna do the honors?"

   And so she does.

()

     THE STORY OF THE SECOND DOOR

   A clever man came to a place with three doors, watched by a devil.

   "Open two doors. Behind one door, you shall find the key. Behind
another, the lock. But beware. One door holds only doom."

   In a rage, the clever man bound the devil.

   "Very well! Then you may ask me one question, and I will answer true."

   At first, the clever man wanted to ask which two doors he should
open. But he knew that the devil's answer would be, the door with the
key and the door with the lock.

   Then, he thought to ask behind which door he would find the key.
But then how would he know behind which door the lock and which doom?
And likewise if he asked which contained the lock.

   And so the clever man asked the devil, "Behind which door is my doom?"

   "The second door," said the devil.

   The clever man opened the first door, and there found the key. He
skipped the next door, then opened the third, and there found his
doom.

()

"The devil did not lie," says Pill. "My dude opened two doors. And
behind the second one he opened, doom."

   "So," says Kate, "I need to phrase my question really carefully."

   "Well, then I'm your guy, sis," says Simon. "I do this all the time."

   Kate raises an eyebrow. "You, uh, summon demons?"

   "Well, no," says Simon, a little embarrassed. "But this monkey's
paw stuff? We do it all the time in our Pathfinder game. Parker loves
pulling those kinda gotchas on us."

   "It's a little bit different," starts Pill.

   "Maybe not," says Kate. "We're trying to outwit a malicious pedant, right?"

   "Basically."

   "So, let's get a bunch of other malicious pedants to help us out,"
says Kate. "Simon, call your group."

()

Simon's pals don't know that Kate saves the world from time to time,
let alone that she's a witch ("I'm not a witch, Simon"), but they do
know that he's been dating Darkhorse. That's mostly thanks to a couple
of photos snagged a couple months back by a paparazzi with a
ultra-high-speed shutter.

   So he can handwave the request as a general cape and tights thing;
Kate never has to be mentioned. Simon meets the group at Parker's
house, and patches Darkhorse through on a video call. Because "magic"
is still considered by the general populace to be "not a thing"
(despite mancers very much being a thing), instead of a demon or ghost
or devil or whatever, he tells them it's a cosmic thing: a space god
or space robot or space robot god or space whatever. The trick is
finding out what precisely kind of space whatever it is.

   "Not exactly," says Pill, appearing on the screen.

   "Who's that?" stage-whispers one of Simon's friends.

   "Uh," says Simon. "She's uh." He stalls out, flustered; he is,
canonically, terrible at lying.

   But Melody, as always, is quick on her feet. "She's another
superhero. This is Gunfist."

   "Gunfist," says Pill, stunned.

   One of the nerdiest nerds (and that's saying something) gets
extremely excited. "Can you turn your fists into guns?"

   "You would think so," begins Pill. "Since I woke up one day and
thought, yeah, Gunfist, that definitely sounds like a name that I, a
functioning adult, want to choose for myself."

   "But interestingly," says Melody, "it's the other way around. She
turns her guns into fists."

   Pill pinches the bridge of her nose. "Anyway. What I wanted to say
is that, it might not be enough to figure out what this thing is."

   Parker nods vigorously. "Because we don't know if this is actually
part of the big bad cosmic doom. Maybe it just works for it. We can
find out its whole life story and that tells us nothing about the
actual threat."

   "Bingo," says Pill. She can tell why Parker is the group's regular GM.

   The nerdiest nerd suggests "Who sent you to Earth?"

   Parker lets out an exasperated groan. "What if this thing works for
some kind of intergalactic assassin's guild? 'Who sent you to Earth?',
and the reply's gonna be, 'the guild'. Which tells us nothing!" Parker
rolls her eyes. "Come on, you guys. Don't embarrass me in front of
Darkhorse and Gunfist!"

()

But obviously they don't put all their eggs into that basket. Saving
the world over and again sometimes comes down to being good at
punches, but just as often it's about being good at puzzles, and a
very high percentage of Kate's colleagues come from creative or STEM
backgrounds. A quick call to Bethany gets a number of the Daylighters
working on the problem simultaneously.

   "Here's a thought," says Bethany. "What if we loop in Loop? Instead
of narrowing it down, you get a list of questions. She asks the
question, gets an answer, winds back time, asks the next one. Then she
gives you all the answers at the end."

   "It's a good plan," says Kate, "but magic kinda exists outside of
time. Once the circle breaks, it breaks, even if you wind back the
clock."

   "Did I mention how much I hate magic?"

   "Repeatedly." Part of Kate wants to gripe that it's getting a
little old, and as someone for whom magic is a whole thing now, it's
starting to rankle. But another part of her also hates magic just as
much.

()

As the various geniuses and amateurs pull at the knot, Kate stares at
it, studying the shifting nothingness in her living room. She can't
really see it so much as she can feel its horrifying absence, feel the
cold void where something should be. It doesn't have eyes, but she
gets the sense that it's staring back at her. Hours of being bound
within the salt have left it nervous, skittish, cornered. Kate pities
it a little, and she gets the sense that it pities her right back.

   "Neither of us asked for this," she whispers. It's a statement, not
a question.

   The nothingness stops pacing and twisting within the circle. It
becomes still. Calm. And in its quiet resignation, it confirms the
validity of Kate's statement.

()

What threatens the earth? This one has too many possible answers. They
could mention the Pulse War, the stirrings of dread Venus, or the
annihilating god-sea that still runs rampant through the cosmos: none
of which have anything to do with the return of the Queen of Cups.

   What threat to the earth do you represent? This is better, but
still allows for what Parker calls poetic shenanigans: "Suppose they
say 'the threat of the stars' or 'intellects vast and cool and
unsympathetic'?"

   What is the true name of the threat you represent? This suggestion
comes to them from Derek Mason, which is a bit of a surprise. The
founder of the Daylighters, now traumatized and disgraced, hasn't
shown much enthusiasm or interest even in these kind of group
projects. It's a good effort; as Kate well knows, there is incredible
mystical power in knowledge of a true name. Likely Derek picked up
that much from Claire.

   Jonah mutes Parker's "sci-fi" group. "Couldn't it just tell you its
own name, though? Since it is itself the threat it represents?"

   "I don't think it would," says Kate. "If it gives me its true name,
I can control it. It's a binding that's tighter than salt." She
gestures at the circle. "Nothing that's this restless, this nervous in
captivity, would choose servitude."

   Pill rubs her chin. "It's the best question we've had so far, for
sure. But what if it doesn't know the true name of our adversary? Like
you said, there's power there, and anything powerful enough to be a
whole Queen of Cups situation likely doesn't pass out copies of their
birth certificate. If they just have a common name, then they can
answer, 'I don't know', and there's our one question, boom, gone."

   Kate nods. "You've got a point, Gunfist."

   Pill scowls at Melody.

()

Kate's landline rings. "Hello?"

   "Why friends no call Lobsterman?"

   "Lobsterman, how did you get this number?" ("Oh God," mouths Melody.)

   "Lobsterman help! Lobsterman big brains!"

   "Yes," says Kate, wearily. "Lobsterman big brains."

   "Ghost girl and punchy girl," that's Kate and Bethany, "call
everybody but Lobsterman. Makes Lobsterman heart heavy."

   Kate buries her face in her hands. "I'm sorry Lobsterman. I would
be honored if you could help us." She snaps her fingers at Melody --
stop giggling, he's going to hear you! "Can someone log you into the
server? A lot the Daylighters are workshopping stuff there."

   "No need! Lobsterman bigger brains than everybody! Lobsterman
already have the answer! That why Lobsterman call you direct!"

   "And I still don't know how you got my home number."

   "Who Lobsterman punch!"

   "Come again?"

   "That is one question ghost girl should ask! Who Lobsterman punch!"

   "I feel like you ask that question a lot, Lobsterman."

   "And it always work!"

   "Truly, you are a genius."

   "Lobsterman know!"

   "Oh my gosh," says Kate, the gears suddenly turning. "Lobsterman,
you actually are a genius."

   "Lobsterman know!"

()

Who must the Queen of Cups defeat to ensure she is not the last?

   "Or," says Kate, "who Kate punch?"

   "God bless Lobsterman," says Melody. "I think that will work? What
do you think, Gunfist?"

   "I think I'll never forgive you," says Pill. "But yeah, I think
that's as close as we're gonna get to airtight."

   Kate is pleased. "Let's run it by Simon's group just in case. Just
gotta figure out how to sci-fi it up."

   Melody looks up from her phone. "No need. Simon says Parker took
him aside to let him know that she knows it's magic and that Kate is
involved."

   "Huh," says Kate.

   "Let's just loop her in, forget the others," says Pill. "She's the
only one pulling her weight anyway."

()

"Well," explains Parker, "I knew with the 'one question' rule that
it'd have to be a fantasy – er, a magic thing."

   "And me?" says Kate.

   "Video call," says Parker. "They framed it well to hide any of the
bric-a-brac, but I recognized the color of the paint on the walls.
Also I know you all are pretty close to the L train; I could hear it.
Also-also, it's easy to tell when Simon is lying."

   "Plus," Pill encourages, "Gunfist is obviously a fake name, right?"

   "Oh darn," says Parker. "Not gonna lie, I thought that was legit.
Even started a Gunfist stan account on my socials."

   "Delete it." ("Send me a link," says Melody at the same time.)

   "Anyway," says Kate. "The question."

   "The question's good!" says Parker. "I think it still gives them a
teensy bit of wiggle room, where they can reply with a riddle or
euphemism. Instead of 'who', I'd try something like 'By what name will
the Queen of Cups know et cetera'?"

()

Melody and Jonah leave the house; it's safer that way. Jonah gives her
a peck on the cheek before departing. "I had plans for your birthday,
sweet. Was going to pamper you."

   "Mmm. Sounds nice." She knows it would have turned out to be a
catastrophe anyway, but she doesn't say that. With a hand on his left
cheek, she brings his right against her lips. "I'll give you a call
when things are less, well, whatever this is."

   Which leaves Kate, Pill, the cat, and the enemy. Cembalo
hiss-squeaks in the general direction of the circle and the unseen
otherworldly thing within it. Maybe the throaty hiss of a full-grown
cat would be more intimidating. Kate's prisoner responds with a hiss
of its own, a "sound" that is completely soundless, yet undeniably
present. It's eerie, maybe the most unnerving and surreal thing to
happen in the last twenty-four hours (and that's saying something!).
This ordeal has left Kate exhausted and frayed at the edges, and every
part of her just wants to scream, just wants to run and hide.

   But Pill isn't running, and neither is the kitten, who stares,
dispassionate and unimpressed, at the source of the "sound". Kate
makes a deal with herself: if the cat doesn't run, neither will she.

   Feeling a bit braver and calmer, she strengthens the binding magic
while Pill makes preparations to banish the thing once the circle is
broken. Kate looks to her, and after getting a quick nod, she asks the
question.

   "By what name will the Queen of Cups know the enemy she must defeat
to ensure she is not the last?"

   A voice that is not a voice grunts with disdain, feigning
resistance. Both parties know it's just a formality -- the salt
compels compliance -- but Kate squeezes her fist anyway, tightening
the circle. "Don't test my patience." With a wheeze, the shapeless
thing indicates that it will answer.

   And then, it does.

   "By countless names you will know them, and by countless names they
will know you: Kate, Queen of Cups, the ghost who never died. The
darkness, reflected in light. These are THE EATERS OF THE DEAD,
starved for a feast. Theirs is THE ROTTING HEART, buried and drowned.
You have forgotten the words to their song, but will remember THE
BITTER MELODY."

   "Those are riddles, not names."

   "Your question was a riddle. For only the Queen of Cups knew their
true name, when she sat the seaside throne, and only she will remember
it, when she sits again."

   The salt scatters and sprays in all directions, hitting the floor
like marbles. The thing could make a play for Kate before its
banishment, but like its earlier resistance, this too is a formality,
and so it waits for Pill to send it on its way.

   "You will forget him," says the voiceless voice. "The boy who must
be lost. And when you remember him, it will be too late."

   Then, it's gone.

   "The eaters of the dead," repeats Kate. "The rotting heart. The
bitter melody. Does that mean anything to you?"

   "No," says Pill. "But the seaside throne does. Pack your bags, your
majesty. We're going to Lemuria."

()

Melody naturally works quickly, and by noon Chicago time has made the
necessary arrangements. That leaves them just enough time to enjoy
some sandwiches on Kate's back porch while they wait for their
teleport.

   "You're sure about the cat?" says Melody. "Historically they're not
fond of water."

   "Neither are witches," says Simon, carrying a package. He hands it
to his sister. "From Cal and Raidne."

   It is, as previously promised, a pointy hat. Unexpectedly, it's not
black, but green. Same shade as Kate's costume. Thoughtful, as far as
gag gifts go. It makes Kate's heart ache a little more acutely. With
an exaggerated grimace and the verbal equivalent of an eyeroll, Kate
puts it on.

   "As for the cat," says Kate. "I don't want to leave her here in
case anything comes back. For the same reason, Simon, we're going to
drop you off at the Lighthouse to stay with Cal for a few days."

   Simon blushes, embarrassed. "Actually, uh, I have other plans." He
looks to Melody for help.

   "You didn't tell her?" says Melody.

   "Tell me what?" says Kate.

   "I, uh, forgot?" says Simon. "I was going to tell you, but I just,
you know, like I said, kept forgetting."

   "God, he's bad at lying," Kate says to Melody. She turns back to
her brother. "Out with it, squirt."

   "I'm going on a trip. Won't be back until July. Leaving tomorrow."
He flinches.

   "Why are you flinching?" says Kate. "I mean, it's weird you didn't
tell me, but you're an adult. I'm not going to stop you. Where are you
going?"

   "Well, it's a humanitarian thing. Building shelters, planting
gardens, that kind of thing."

   "Of course it is," says Kate. She presses her hand against his
face. "You're a good kid. You've a kind heart. It's one of the things
I most admire about you. But you still haven't told me where on earth
you're going."

   "Well, that's just it, Kate. It's not on earth." He grins
sheepishly. "Not this earth, anyway." He looks to Melody again, and
this time she intervenes.

   "One of the parallel earths that's joined us in the space war," she
explains. "They were hit real bad, one ecological disaster after
another. As part of the treaty, the high mucky-mucks agreed to help
with their recovery efforts. Since the whole parallel earths thing is
still hush-hush to the general public, they're being pretty selective
about who they're sending. Simon wanted to go, and -- I cannot stress
this enough -- on the understanding that he was going to talk to you
about it, I put in a good word for him."

   "Is it dangerous?"

   "No," Simon lies.

   "Melody?"

   She frowns. "It's not safe. But you and I both know not many places are."

   Kate nods. "Take care of yourself, Simon."

   "You too," says Simon. "This magic destiny stuff sounds pretty fraught."

   She hugs him. "You should have told me."

   "I know."

   A moment later, Ghedi Dirie will arrive to teleport Kate et al to
Japan. As Kate fades away from her porch, she will look back and see
Simon gathering up the plates.

   For a long while, she will remember this as the last time she ever
saw her brother. In her memory he will be sadder, and the day grayer;
guilt will do that to you. It's her fault he's gone, and in the
immediate wake of the loss, she'd have done anything to take it back.
She'll try to, even as it burns all her bridges. With Melody, with
Bethany.

   With Cal.

   She'll see Simon once more, and by that time, she'll have made her
peace with what she did, what she won, and the ache of what it cost
her.

   But that's a story for another time.

COPYRIGHT 2023 AMABEL HOLLAND