LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #240: Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade that will Probably Never Have an Ending Part Six

[Drew Nilium]

On 4/10/22 5:09 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
>                       JUST ANOTHER MULTI-WRITER CASCADE
>                    THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER HAVE AN ENDING
>                              ISSUE NUMBA ELEVEN

I wrote it like that specifically to help center it. X3

>                             "Do The Rifty Thing"

I had noticed by this point that the titles for #3 and #9 had both ended in 
"thing", so I was consciously continuing the pattern here.

> ========================================================================
> The top of the cover is covered by a huge, garish "LNH RETURN!" banner.

This was my attempt to kickstart a bunch of stories that had stalled out. It 
sure did work with this one!

> The corridor outside room 58008 in the dormitories of the LNHQ was
> getting crowded.

heeheehee boobs

> If you hadn't been so quick to go for Plan Ends
> Justify The Means, a dangerous child wouldn't be locked up in there with
> the most powerful destructive force in the galaxy."
> 
> "Actually," said Non-Judgmental Agnostic, "now that the Insanity Gems
> have been neutralized, the most powerful destructive force in the galaxy
> is Kubrik's Kube."
> 
> "Yes, yes, whatever!"

heeheeheehee :D

> "Nonsense," said the Penultimate Savior, stepping forward. "This
> situation couldn't have been foreseen, and there was-- there *is* no
> other way--"
> 
> "Oh, yes," said Masterplan Lad, rolling his eyes. "This problem is
> entirely predictable and has only one possible solution, but *also*
> includes variables that could not have been foreseen beforehand."

I like this line a lot. X3

> "These are Canon Cannons, created through the
> combination of Continuity's Champion and Irony Monger's powers - sorry,
> guys. They have the ability to freeze all of you by fixing you totally
> in continuity, and I *will* use them unless we sit down and talk this
> out like reasonable adults!"

I love playing with Mashup Laq's powers. :D

> "I
> joined the LNH because it was an organization of heroes - of people who
> rejected binary choices, who could always find another, better way! If
> that's not true anymore, I might as well go see if Teenfactor is
> hiring!"

heeheehee. Man there's a lot of lines I'm proud of in this issue. X3

> "Didn't the LNH used to be less intense than this?" whispered
> Foreshadowing Lad to Pliable Lad.
> 
> "I dunno, my series was always pretty dramatic," whispered PL. "Less
> people from the future, though."

The LNH had a lot of different tones back in the day. X>

> Penultimate Savior shook his head. "But... you don't *get* it. In our
> timeline, the LNH tried everything, *everything*, and it didn't save
> them. And I'd rather lose Earth - lose my home, my parents, and
> everything I've ever known - than let this destroy the universe."

Sometimes PS is a really cool character.

> "That's right, possible outcomes..." said Masterplan Lad, stroking his
> chin. "This is Looniverse-A, the 'main' timeline - of the Classic LNH,
> anyway. It's being torn apart by its greatest strengths, the fact that
> you can do anything..."
> 
> "Guys," said FL, hopping up and down.
> 
> "But that's the thing," said Continuity's Champion. "How can we fix such
> a problem without cutting off the ability to do anything?"

I'm really good at themes. |>

> "You see," he said, "I have it from a reliable source that the only way
> to close these rifts is to generate enough inspiration particles to get
> the Writers to finish their stories. And what inspires you to finish
> *your* story? How about a big, ambitious, fun story that managed to
> overcome all obstacles and finish - Beige Midnight!"

And JAC became just such a story, in the end. :>

> "In here is a chunk of
> pure Beige Midnight Story, created as a side-effect of Kid Not Appearing
> In Any Retcon Hour Story becoming Kid Not Appearing In Any Beige
> Midnight Story back in 58.5.

I love extending weird LNH cosmology stuff. :3

> "Honestly, I think we've accumulated enough plot coupons by this point
> to get a break." MPL threw open the door - and revealed the glowing,
> crackling energy of a rift!
> 
> "...mind you, I might be wrong."

heeheehee

> Agent Susannah stepped forward. She took a deep breath and faced the
> fourth wall. "Well!" she said. "That was certainly an exciting way to
> end a cascade! It sure was amazing when fairies came by and closed all
> the rifts with magic and everybody went home!"
> 
> Lacuna put her head in her hands. "Never mind."

heeheehee

> For decades, astrophysicists have theorized that a solar system could
> have two planets in the same orbit if they fell into each other's
> Lagrangian points - those points where the gravity of the star and the
> other planet cancel out. A pair of planets on opposite sides of a sun
> would fulfill that equation, and in the home system of the Dorfs, such a
> pair exists - Dorfia, the homeworld, and its equal and opposite, Planet
> Inferior!

Just to make the pun explicit, something on the opposite side of the Sun as seen 
from Earth would be in an inferior conjunction.

> The entire active membership of the Classic LNH, plus the members of the
> LNH3k and the Legion of Net.Hippies who were visiting this time period,
> trooped out of the Argo, in a double-page spread drawn by George Perez
> in fabulous detail, down to the individual tongues of flame on Burning
> Bra Lass's chest.

God I love his art.

> But even to these distant shores, the rifts have spread!
> Behold! The Net.dusa Cascade!"

This one's a Doctor Who reference. X3

> "To cross over into the world of the Kube, I will suborn the Keymaster
> of the Omnilooniverse - Net.Access!"

"Keymaster" is a Ghostbusters ref, of course, but I really like this title for her.

> He chuckled, low and dangerous. "Simple!" He pointed at Killswitch's
> unconscious body. "I'll take the Spoon of Destiny! In my hands, it will
> become the Spork of Ultimate Darkness! I-- the spork-wielding assassin
> from Jesse Willey's Grocery List #11!"

Heeheeheehee. X> This is a reference to another unfinished cascade, of course, 
and lead to Jeanne bringing back this character long-term as Deathspork: The 
Terminator.

> A few minutes later, a sealed carboard box addressed to Abu Dhabi
> dropped into the LNHQ's mailbox.

heeheeheehee

> "Indeed," said Masterplan Lad, patting PS on the shoulder. "And," he
> muttered, leaning in for just a moment, "don't think I haven't noticed
> your protectiveness. Good choice, but you'll have to explain sometime
> how LNH2 crossed over with LNH20."
> 
> PS blushed. "That-- that's not relevant right now."
> 
> "As you say."

heeheeheehee :D

> Continuity's Champion leafed
> through a stack of The Might of Cap'n Quaalude.

A reference to a fictional comic mentioned in Y-Plex Burp's origin post, which I 
love calling back to. X3

> Non-Judgmental Agnostic
> was startled when she picked up a package and a jack-in-the-box (painted
> like obscure Decibel Dude & Vigilante Guy villain Bobcat the Clown)
> popped out.

There are surprisingly few clown-themed villains in the LNH, did you know?

> Non-Judgmental Agnostic heard a small noise, next to her ear. She turned
> to see the clown-in-the-box's arm ratcheting back. There was something
> in its hand...
> 
> With a ker-ching!, the doll tossed a genuine imitation banana peel
> across the room, landing right smack under Masterplan Lad's feet.

And I had to find one for this joke-slash-plot-point to work. X3

> Author's Notes: Masterplan Lad will return in LNH v2 #50! Killswitch
> will return in LNH20 Comics Presents #18!

The other two "LNH RETURN!" stories.

> Planet Inferior is called that because, as seen from Dorfia, it's in an
> inferior conjunction:
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferior_conjunction#Superior_and_inferior
> (And also because, y'know, Dorfs.)

Oh, okay, I did explain that. X3

> As of now, the floodgates are open; feel free to take this inspirational
> opportunity to move forward with never-finished storylines! Let's make
> 2015 the year that the LNH moves to the next level!

well.

Drew "still chugging ahead on that" Nilium