LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #239: Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade that will Probably Never Have an Ending Part Five

[Drew Nilium]

On 4/3/22 5:19 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
> Pliable Lad survived the
> chaos of the Omaha Project and Retcon Hour (well, okay, he was kind of
> retconned in Retcon Hour -- but it all worked out in the end),

It did. X3

> but can he
> make through -- The High Concept Challenge #45 -- An Awkward Situation?!!

DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

> ========================================================================
> The cover is yet another homage to Days of Future Past. Pliable Lad
> crouches in the foreground in the spotlight, and the posters are:
>    * SIG.LAD - Deceased
>    * KID CHIVALRY - Presumed Deceased
>    * OBSCURE TRIVIA LAD - Deceased Twice, Resurrected Twice
>    * LOST CAUSE BOY - I Think He Was Dead Already
>    * CAPTAIN CLEANUP - Deceased, Cloned, Retired and Active
>    * PANTA - Retconned
>    * CURLY - Forgotten
>    * REVERB BOY - In Superguy
>    * SUPERGUY - What's That
>    * KID ANARKY - Actually Still Around
>    * and finally, half-covered in shadows, PLIABLE LAD - Happy Ending
> ========================================================================

I'm so proud of this, not gonna lie. |>

> The person in question turned around. It wasn't Doctor Stomper, that was
> for sure; it was a youngish... well, person, with smooth, pale-brown
> features and a short black buzzcut. Their only makeup was eyeshadow,
> purple on one eye and white on the other. Under the labcoat, they wore a
> bright pink vest over a white button-up shirt, a purple bowtie, and a
> pair of purple knickerbockers with pink boots. "Sorry, he's off in space
> at the moment. I'm Mashup Laq, Mad Doctor in Training. What can I do to
> help?"

:D And here's another new character.

> "It's the nonbinary equivalent of Lass or Lad," said Mashup Laq, making
> a checkmark on their clipboard.

I don't think I've used it again, I need to. X>

> [ * A subjective view of the _Omaha Project_ crossover and _Pliable Lad_
> Annual #1: "Phantom Traveller". - Footnote Girl ]
> 
> Well, at least Footnote Girl was still around, Pli noted.

Heeheehee. :>

> "Well, it's like... Have you ever seen the Doctor Who episode 'The Three
> Doctors'?"
> 
> "Doctor Who? That's one of those old British shows on PBS, right? The
> guy with the scarf?"

Ah, I had fun with this |>

> "Basically,
> whatever sent you here did so by pushing you out of a pre-existing
> story. You're out of synch with the continuity, and so, the
> Ottobindervitch Conservation Limit states that once you return to your
> proper point in the timeline, you won't remember any of this until you
> 'catch up' with it."

This concept is useful but I wish I'd given it a better name. X3

> "So you don't know what's going to happen to you," offered up
> Foreshadowing Lad.
> 
> N-JA grinned. "So why should today be any different?"

Ahhhhh, I like Non-Judgmental Agnostic a lot. |>

> Suddenly, the medbay doors slammed open. A man wearing a ninja outfit
> covered in faintly-glowing white dots like a starfield ran in, holding a
> limp form wearing a bright white spandex suit with a red "power" symbol
> on the chest. We know them as Penultimate Savior and Killswitch, but
> remember, readers, that everyone else in the room is foolishly ignorant!
> FOOLS!
> 
> "Are you sure the narrator is oka--" Pliable Lad was interrupted by that
> thing that just happened.

heeheeheeheehee

> Mashup Laq blinked, holding her hands out towards Killswitch as if
> warming them over a fire. "He's giving off intense levels of crossover
> energy."

I assume they can sense this because of how their powers work, being based in 
"crossing over" different things.

> Over in the corner, friend Penultimate Savior was being grilled. "So,"
> said Masterplan Lad, metaphorically gripping PS's nonexistent
> buttonhole--
> 
> Wow, that sounds filthy in a modern context. To clarify, to "buttonhole"
> someone is to accost and detain someone in conversation - getting their
> attention, keeping it, and not letting go.
> 
> "Anyway," said Masterplan Lad,

heeheeheeheee

> "Yes, yes, necessity of the multiverse-level greater good, a fairly
> standard cosmic-level conflict. However, I believe you're making the
> rookie mistake of assuming that alternative perspectives won't be useful
> in introducing third- and fourth-level choices into a binary decision,
> c.f. 'The Beast Below', Pond et al.

Doctor Who references! \o/ I was really into it at the time.

> Irony Monger had assumed stealth mode, Dramatic Irony Field letting only
> the audience know he was there.

Quite a good power, I think. |>

> There was a tap on his shoulder. He pondered that information for a
> fraction of a second, then spun around.

heeheehee

> A pale, dark-haired woman was standing there, looking straight at him
> despite the Irony Field. For a few moments, she seemed to be a normal
> human, and then he sensed a constant stream of irony emanating from the
> fact that she was anything but normal. She looked mildly embarassed.
> 
> "Sorry," said Lydia Devin, "but I one of my contacts fell out and I
> think it's sticking to your boot."

X3 I love it.

> The demonically-possessed cyborg duck known as Psychovant floomped into
> existence holding one of the cosmic artifacts known as Kubrik's Kubes.
> Now that he'd taken care of the important business of hedonism and
> sarcasm, he could finally get down to...
> 
> Whatever it was the Council wanted him to do. Eh, he'd remember
> eventually.

Scott later clarified that he was less an active agent of the Council and more a 
tool they pointed in the right direction and let go, but that mistake fits even 
better with the later point about not being written by one's original author.

> You wanted to see the three ancient
> statues that sustain our world - The Rabbit, the Sentinel, and the
> Barbarian. And you... and you..." He held a hand over his face, holding
> back tears. "You... drew MOUSTACHES on them!"

The Rabbit is Bugs Bunny of course, the Barbarian is Cerebus the aardvark, but I 
can't for the life of me remember who the Sentinel was supposed to be. X3; Also, 
this is based on the plot of Final Fantasy VI.

> "The fundamental force of Comedy overran the world, changing and
> disrupting life as we knew it! Life was turned into a series of wacky
> shenanigans! It was... the Gagpocalypse."

heeheeheehee

> Something was *off*. All at once, the cyborg duck realized - he wasn't
> being written by his creator!
> 
> He had to be careful - he knew how much over-the-top ridiculous
> characters like Ambush Bug and Lobo got twisted around by being part of
> a larger universe. Soon he'd be introspecting, and then angsting, and at
> that point it would be all over except for the part where he got
> rebooted with a committee-approved generically threatening design.

Notably, Lobo had, not that long before this, been subject to just such a reboot.

> Well, he wasn't going to end up like Ultimate Deadpool!

God, Ultimate Deadpool makes me so mad. X3

> "The force that created our civilization, that raised us up from mere
> animals - how appropriate to use it to stop the one who betrayed us!"

I figured we should actually have an example of being enlightened by a Kube~

> Punctual Death Lad sighed. It was a heavy sigh, a sigh that indicated a
> quite distressing burden on the sigher's part, a regrettable sigh that
> could simply not be held back any longer.
> 
> A sigh that was met with a glare from his four teammates, sitting around
> on the magnificent legendary ship known as the Argo as it was pulled
> through space, destination unknown, by flying saucers shaped like
> fedoras.
> 
> "Well, I'm just saying," said PDL, adjusting his bowtie.

heeheeheehee

> "Ay," cried Anti-Christ Lad, "but what good does it do a man to save the
> universe - when he lose his heart!?"
> 
> The LNH3k looked at each other and sighed.
> 
> "You ever get the feeling you're stuck in the B-plot?" said Kid
> Enthusiastic Double-Junior.

Love this. |>

> She immediately disappeared in a flash of swirling dark energy. Her
> followers cried out, Agent Susannah started shouting, and confusion
> reigned.
> 
> "You know, she's right - there *is* a lot of stuff going on in this
> cascade," said Cameo Gonzaga of the Legion of Young.Heroes, all of whom
> had stayed in the background, watching, waiting for the right moment to
> join in. "I mean, we didn't even get to do anything."
> 
> "Maybe next issue," the Green Knight sighed.

X3 ahhhhhhhh good times

> "Quite all right." He would let her finish what she was doing before
> going into the room - it wasn't like a few moments would matter, once
> they had the Mega-Ultra-BIGGUN...
> 
> Irony Monger realized the ironic potential of that thought thirteen
> microseconds before dark energy swirled and Merissa appeared.

It's a running gag! \o/

> "YOU!" Merissa pointed at Lydia, then realized what she was doing and
> put her hands behind her back. "I-- I mean, hi! I mean... 'sup?" Merissa
> kind of... half-leaned against the door of room 58008.

Awkward Merissa is so great

> Lydia twitched slightly. It wasn't the girl's mysterious viral ability
> to get people to follow her - Lydia was several orders of magnitude too
> powerful to be affected by something like that. It was the puppy dog
> eyes.

heeheehee

> You're not a poser.
> You've got *pain*. You're *real*."
> 
> Lydia was struck by waves of secondhand embarrassment. Merissa was
> reminding her uncomfortably of her seventh-grade year, but warped and
> exaggerated. ...well, a *little* exaggerated.

heeheeheeheehee

> "HEY!" Lydia stepped inbetween them. "Get away from him, you bitch!"
> 
> Immediately, Lydia regretted it, but it was too late. Merissa's eyes
> filled with tears. "B-- B--"

awwwwww. I like my subversion of the reference here. X3

> After a while, she just lay there, cybernetic mind going around and
> around in circles. Goth wasn't cool. No. Goth sucked. She wasn't going
> to be goth anymore.
> 
> But what *was* she going to be? Without some example data, without
> someone to follow, her role was... undefined. Error.

I enjoy playing around with Vectors as living computer viruses. :>

> The animals were *just* a rabbit and a duck.  They were a *large*
> black-furred rabbit and a *large* duck.  But they were not a rabbit and
> a duck with super-animal powers.  Or even hands to hold cubes with.
> They were *just* a rabbit and a duck.  Among lots of rhododendrons.  And
> two cubes.
> 
> And two monster bees, pollinating.

DUN DUN DUNNNN! Notably, the monster bees are from The Super Wizard From Space - 
they have the ability to turn other life-forms into more monster bees by 
stinging them.

> The poor duck was once a cyborg *demon* duck.  Its demon powers were
> gone.  But it still had a cyborg speech implant!

Ooooooh, nice :D Love these logical stepping-stones.

> "I call our allies.  The retrieval mission just became Council Priority
> One.  *Then* we figure out what Atomic Bunny has to do with what's
> breaking the omniverse."

Dun dun dunnnnn :D

> This is what I get for trying to resolve other people's plotlines.  Now
> I get to resolve my own.

That's how it goes. X3

Drew "keep chuggin'" Nilium