LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #109: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! Part Eight

[Drew Perron]

On 6/9/2019 5:29 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
> Jamie Rosen returns with issue 16.  Will Bluetooth finally get some
> credit for his dialogue?

A-nope. Also I love this issue

> And I, Arthur Spitzer, join the cascade with #17.  Did I join this
> cascade solely to make sure the Cauliflower mini was in continuity?

Hell yeah. :D And you tied things together nicely.

> And will we have to wait till Beige Countdown for this Manga Man
> Masterplan stuff?

Hell yeah~ And all the better for it.

> All right, I gave you almost a full day presents:

I wish that were me

> Bluetooth grimaced. His deal with the Shoe Devil had not gone as he had
> hoped -- yes, he had been granted increased strength and speed,
> razor-sharp teeth, and a net.ahuman healing factor. But all that power
> had been offset with a marked increase in his personal angst -- and he
> *still* didn't get credit for his dialogue.
> 
> "I wish I'd never made that deal."
> 
> See?

Heeheehee

> "I know," said the Grapety Purple Man. "And that is why you are the
> perfect choice." He moved closer, still dripping Grapety Purple juice.
> "Allow me to explain..."

THE HUNGRY PAST BACKSTORY WOO

> Eons ago, my young friend, the Looniverse was shapeless and without
> form. It was not until the Writers came that the world began to
> coalesce -- and through their power, it gained not just a present and a
> future, but a past as well. It is the past that we all know and share,
> but it is also a past that had not been until the arrival of the
> Writers.
> 
> Many beings believe that this is the past that has always been, or in
> the very least, the only past there has ever been. But I, the Grapety
> Purple Man, know all too well that this was not the case. For I have
> pulled back the curtain and pierced the veil of ignorance to witness
> the world that came before that history. I have seen it, and known
> fear.
> 
> Yes, I -- the Grapety Purple Man, have known fear! For this pre-history
> is a great gaping maw of nothingness, a hunger that knows no bounds and
> no satiation. It was in the face of this hunger that I transformed
> myself into the being you see before me, hoping to slake this hunger's
> thirst with the cool refreshing Power Grapety Purple. But it was not to
> be! I could only repress the hunger, casting it into the deep, from
> which I hoped it would not return.
> 
> Alas, that day has come, and the past has reawakened.

IT'S SO GOOD! IT'S SO META! IT'S SO HECKING GOOD

> "But I thought the anti-virus companies had it under control."
> 
> The Grapety Purple Man shook his head sadly. "And therein lies the
> problem. For the virus bears the same signature as the works of the
> Writers themselves! When the anti-virus programmes come on-line, they
> will detect as virii the very archived stories they are meant to
> protect -- and wipe them out, and with them, the Looniverse!"

This is also *such* a good refocusing of the plot, bringing the virus plot back 
to the center and latching a really amazing cosmic Deal to it.

> "I learned long ago that even the Power Grapety Purple is not
> sufficient to put an end to this hungry past," the Grapety Purple Man
> said, "but that may be because I am only one part of the puzzle. For
> even with Grapety Purple Juice, we need something more filling.
> Something more solid. Something like... fillet of sole!"

And this is such a good linking-in of the Shoe Devil plot! aaaaaa Jamie is such 
a good writer

> December 26, 2004
Oh god I feel old

> Catalyst Lass turned her head.  "Sorry.  I guess I'm still thinking
> about Cauliflower."
> 
> Innovative Offense Boy gave an understanding nod.  "It's okay.  I
> shouldn't have brought it @#$@$ up."
> 
> "And me and Hood had a fight over some stupid little thing before I left
> on this mission.  God.  This has just been one horrible week.  I want to
> smile about something.  But I can't.  It's like I've forgotten what
> happiness is."

I love the chaotic emotions flowing thru Arthur's works.

> "Hey, guys," interrupted Namer Boy.  "Is it just me, or is anyone else
> picking up this really weird feeling."
> 
> "Well this is alt.tv.x-files.creative," explained Pulls-Paper-Out-of-
> Hats Lad, "Wouldn't it be more strange if we weren't experiencing weird
> feelings?"

Heeheehee.

> "Wait!" said Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad as he took his top hat off.  "I
> have the ability to pull any kind of paper out of any hat.  I'd like to
> try and pull something from that shack.  Maybe I can snag some secret
> documents, or something."
> 
> "Sure.  @#$*&@# go for it." Innovative Offense Boy gave a thumbs up.
> 
> Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad reached into his top hat.  "This is
> strange," he said as he pulled a black piece of paper out of the hat.
> Oh no.."  Suddenly, Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad's body collapsed to the
> ground.  And before his teammates could do anything about it, they
> joined him twitching and convulsing on the dirt road.

That is such cool and weird imagery.

> Now -- As in right as you're reading this story (well unless you're
> looking at it from the archives.  Okay, better make that Now if you're
> reading just after I posted the story)...

*waves from fourteen years later*

> "At this point we're at stage two of the plan.  Our master, Manga Man,
> has triggered events that might destroy the RACCies, Saxon Brenton, and
> perhaps reality itself.  And he is also the only person who can save
> these three things."

<Manga Man Black> Yes, I definitely triggered these things, my minions. It 
definitely didn't just start happening and I took advantage of a cosmic threat 
for my own personal purposes, just like I will in Beige Midnight. >.> <.<

> Oh another thing -- there are three robot duplicates
> of Manga Man running around the LNHQ."
> 
> "Three?  Umm why?"
> 
> "Because Manga Man is a genius," the evil robot duplicate of Catalyst
> Lass said it in a way that made it seem that that completely explained
> the question.  "Each one has a purpose to fulfill."
> 
> "So how do you know that the Manga Man that you're taking orders from is
> the real one?"
> 
> Suddenly, Catalyst Lass had an uneasy expression on her face.  "What do
> mean real?  Of course he's real!  He has to be real!  He's my master!
> He created me!"

This is an *excellent* play on the "multiple Manga Men" situation, and throws an 
unreliable narrator in to cast everything just said into doubt. :D Love it.

> "Very well.  All the things that you have heard in this room, you are
> not to speak of, or even think about them.  You are..."  Catalyst Lass
> stopped speaking as she heard a tiny ruffling noise.  She looked over
> and saw that it was coming from a small bird.  A kiwi.
> 
> She looked at the kiwi with a very gentle expression.  "C'mere, sweetie.
> Was that you making all that noise?  Come on.  Over here.  I promise I
> won't bite.  Honest."

This is a genuinely chilling scene and it really works. Nothing else in the 
cascade is quite tonally this Dark, but that's how cascades are sometimes.

> The thing was though, the way his powers worked he became the evil robot
> duplicate.  And the evil robot duplicate became him.  He was here right
> now in the LNHQ and he was also blindfolded and strapped to some table
> in some dungeon on some newsgroup out there somewhere.  It had taken him
> over a month to try and take control of his body, and even now he could
> feel the evil robot duplicate deep inside him trying to take control.

I *love* that this is how his powers work. It's so weird and meta and 
identity-feels. This was used to excellent effect in LNH v2 #50.

> The Evil Robot Catalyst Lass took out her comm.thingee.  "Hi?  Doctor
> Stomper?  Is that you?"
> 
> <~Yes, Cat?  What can I do for you?~>
> 
> "I think there might be something wrong with the Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr.
> I think it might be necessary to take care of him.  Do you understand?"
> 
> ==--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--====--==      ==--==
> 
> "Yes.  I understand."
> 
> Dr. Stomper clicked his comm.thingee off.  He grabbed a weird looking
> gun out of one of his drawers.  A sinister grin took over his face.

DUN DUN DUNNNN

Drew "weird looking gun FTW" Perron