LNH: Worst LNH Series -- EVER!! #2 -- The Legion of Net.Hipsterinos!
pwerdna at gmail.com
Sun May 14 11:39:39 PDT 2017
On 5/13/2017 4:41 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> "Hey, Doc," said Rick (Dr. Refuse2Amuse's roommate)
> browsing his way through the Net, "Looks like you got some
> reviews for this series!"
> "Excellent!" Dr. Refuse2Amuse rubbed his hands in a very
> fiendish manner. "Undoubtedly, they're all very nasty
> horrible reviews written by people cursing my existence.
> All wishing that they could get back that oh so precious
> time that they lost reading this wretched excuse for a
> series. But they can never get that back. No. It's lost
> -- Lost forever! Forever!!!! Mwuhuhhhuhuhuuhhh!!!!" Dr.
> Refuse2Amuse pumped his fists into the air. "I must read
> these reviews! I must taste their frustrated tears of
> boredom. Oh, yes, I must -- I must taste them all!!!" Dr.
> Refuse2Amuse lashed his lips with his tongue.
I never know where to cut Arthur's paragraphs for brevity, because they keep
building and building and building the joke, it's great. XD
> "Actually, most of them are pretty good," Rich said
> gesturing to the screen. "Yeah, you got a bunch five stars
> reviews. See?"
> "No! That's impossible! That's a lie!! No one could
> possible like this abomination of literature!! No one!!
> Only the most braindead fool of a cretin fool could get any
> pleasure from this!! Who are these fools? I must know!!!"
> "Well, most of the reviews are coming from these guys that
> call themselves the Legion of Net.Hipsterinos.."
Oh my god. XD
> "Yeah, they're kind of this group of jerkoffs that are into
> 'liking' stuff," Rick made some air quotes with his
> fingers. "You know liking stuff in an ironic sort of way.
> You know?"
Man, we need to get Irony Man II on this... or whatever she's called after Flame
Wars Final... ha... h-ha... .-.;;;
> I will not abide by
> this horrid criticism malpractice of epic proportions!!
I love this sentence
> Dr. Refuse2Amuse paused a bit. And then he clenched his
> teeth harder than any other fictional character has ever
> clenched his(or her) teeth ever. Ever! EVER!!!
Baron Hyperbole needs to show up
> And then he flew out of the Studio Apartment's window.
> Glass rained down on the city.
> And then ten minutes later he flew right back into the
> apartment. "Where are these guys exactly?"
Heeheehee X3 This was a marvelously understated moment in the middle of the
> A man dressed in the most ironic hipsterish way possible
> twirled his chair as his microphone on his headphones
> captured all his 'oh so fascinating' 'thoughts'.
I was into hipster fashion before it was described. B|
> Yeah, remember that scene from
> Poltergeist where that little girl is just staring at the
> Snow Channel till she gets like sucked into the TV? Man,
> kids can't do that stuff anymore -- Man, we need to get the
> complete Snow Channel on DVD -- Why aren't you getting on
> that Congress -- Yeah, Congress!! Kids need to be sucked
> into their TVs!!! Hipsterinos, 'write' your Congressmen.
> You should 'totally' do that! Anyways..."
I feel like the 'irony quotes' put this guy over the top as The Ultimate Arthur
> And then the wall exploded hurling the Ultimate Hipsterino
> towards the floor. "Whoahh! There's like a super villain
> trashing my studio, fellow Hipsterinos! Aren't trashed
> studios like the 'best'. Maybe he's going to beat me up.
> I really 'hope' that happens. I mean..."
This is amazing X3
> "Oh geeze," The Ultimate Hipsterino looked down at the
> bottom half of his body, which looked like it had gone
> through a sausage grinder after a nice swedish wood chipper
> massage. "Ouch! Oh, I think I'm going to be dead soon,
> dear listeners. Yeah, all that blood coming out. Not
> good. Not good for the UH. A shame. Was really looking
> forward to reading this newest issue. I can already tell -
> - going to be an 'instant classic'. Going to be..."
You know, usually comedic over-the-top violence doesn't work for me? But this
is... again, amazing. XD
Drew "completely sincere enjoyment" Perron
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