LNH/Contest: Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #46: A 24 Minute Comic
saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
Mon Jan 2 12:41:48 PST 2012
[LNH][Contest] Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #46: A 24 Minute Comic
| |-| \
| |-|  / #46
| | |  egion of \ 'A Spoonful of Mischief'
| | | __     / (Part of High Concept Challenge #26)
| | | [___][ \et.__eroes \
| | | \ ] [ __ ] / written by and copyright 2012
| |-|     \ Saxon Brenton
| | Cover shows three lemurs. One of them is wearing glasses, one of
| | them is carrying a bottle of grape juice, and the third has a spoon.
From the personal files of Cheesecake-Eater Lad:
"I knew things were going wrong when I heard the 'Frink' from the
back of the LNH-HQ's walk-in refrigerator store-room.
" 'Who's there?' I demanded. The only reply was muffled giggling.
Some supervillain or other, no doubt. Well, just because the head-
quarters of the Legion of Net.Heroes attracted villainous ne'er-do-wells
like flies didn't mean that they'd be allowed to get the better of the
"I backed into some shadows and then silently leapt up onto some
tall shelving. Okay, yes, I know I'm a bit overweight. But my ninja
training gives me stealth that my opponents usually don't - can't -
credit to a fat man.
"I ghosted along, following the sounds of the giggling until I came
upon my opponents. They were a trio of lemurs (one of them wearing horn
rim glasses), and they had stolen several bottles of grape juice. More
importantly, they somehow knew I was there, and had shaken up one of
the bottles until it was full of pressurised carbonation bubbles, and
then they unscrewed the top in my direction.
"I catapulted out of the way as the fizzy, grape flavoured soft
drink fountained and splattered all over the shelving where I had been.
As I flew through the air I threw a number of spoons at them. I may not
be as good at spoonjitsu as Decibel Dude's girlfriend, Samantha Spoon
was, but the spoons hit their mark squarely into the wall on either side
of the three lemur’s heads, and then stuck there, quivering with a
" 'All right, that was just for starters,' I said, as I lightly
bounded down to the floor with enough spoons for a second volley if it
became necessary. 'Do you surrender? Or do I have to get rough?'
"The troublesome trio of lemurs put up their hands in a sign of
surrender as they decided not to be troublesome anymore."
"So that's what happened," Cheesecake-Eater Lad said as he finished
his story to Occultism Kid and Fearless Leader.
Occultism Kid nodded. "I think I know what's going on. You're
aware that the Superguy altiverses have had very little activity over
the past few years?"
Cheesecake-Eater Lad nodded, somewhat sadly. There were so many
story imprints that had dwindled away from lack of interest over the
last twenty years.
"Well, apparently some of the lemurs have been abandoning ship,
heading off to other imprints," said Occultism Kid. He looked pointedly
at the three lemurs, who were now watching the net.heroes from inside a
steel cage box.
"Well by rights we should deport them back to their home
dimension," said Fearless Leader.
"That's hardly fair if their universe is about to run down from
lack of interest," protested Cheesecake-Eater Lad.
"I hardly think the altiverses are in any danger of dying," said
"I agree," said Occultism Kid. "If nothing else, the squirrels
don't seem to be particularly worried, and they've got a far better grip
on the metaphysics of these things."
"Okay, so let's get the paperwork sorted out for sending them
back... Hey, we've they go?" demanded Fearless Leader as he suddenly
realised that the cage was empty.
"Look!" said Cheesecake-Eater Lad, pointing at a hairpin on the
floor. "They must have picked the lock!"
"I'll use a spell to track them," said Occultism Kid. "They can't
have gotten far."
They hadn't, but they didn't need to.
The troublesome trio raced down the halls (tripping up Bad-Timing
Boy in the process) when they came to an open door. A door that
shouldn't have been open. They scampered inside, and came face to face
with the awesome contents of the Legion's Plot Device Room.
"Woooo," the lemurs went. Then they heard the Legionnaires in
pursuit behind them. They ran further into the Plot Device Room, and
happened upon an inter-dimensional portal generator, which most
certainly shouldn't have been on like that. They raced towards it.
Along the way one of the lemurs picked up one of the numerous artefacts
that were stored in the room: The Spoon of Destiny of Looniearth-A. And
then the three lemurs and the Spoon went through the portal into
Looniearth-20, to make mischief in a brand new imprint.
Cheesecake-Eater Lad created by Matthew Jotham Millheiser.
Fearless Leader created by Dave Van Domelen.
Occultism Kid created by Josh Guerink.
Written for the 26th High Concept Challenge: a 24 minute comic
starting with the line "I knew things were going wrong when..."
This is the second story I tried for HCC26, and was written in 24
minutes exactly. (Editing, spellchecking, and copy'n'pasting in the
logo took extra time, naturally.) The first was a story involving a flying
cargo ship caught in a silt storm in a fantasy setting, but I ran out of
time about halfway through, indicating that I really didn't have a
proper sense of how long it would take me to whip off a particular
amount of text.
Only after I finished writing did I realise that Occultism Kid's
summary of the lemurs isn't actually all that complete. Yes, they're a
running gag, but upon reflection and after some fact checking it could
be accurately said that their original home is the usenet newsgroup
(Handwavy rationalisation) From there they spread out,
including to the Superguy writing group mailing list (which as far as
shared universe writing group's go is rec.arts.comics.creative's elder
sibling, and for the last few years has been on low ebb and kept alive
mainly by the efforts of Gary W. Olson). (Even more handwavy
rationalisation) If we posit that only a few of the more panicky Superguy
lemur population have decided to bail, and that some have gone 'back
to the old country', then this explains why only a small number have
turned up elsewhere.
By contrast the various factions of squirrel super scientists and
magicians showed up mainly in Dvandom's old _Crazy Guy_ and
_Exarchs_ series for the Superguy imprint.
Anyway, the premise - that some but not all of the lemurs are
starting to abandon Superguy for still active imprints - is an off the
cuff piece of silliness that I threw out sometime last year. The notion
of throwing the whole mess into the brand new LNH20 imprint to
further complicate the 'Spoon Of Destiny' cascade is a piece of
mischief that occurred to me within the last hour.
What, you though the story title referred to the *lemurs* making
Saxon Brenton University of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
"These 'no-nonsense' solutions of yours just don't hold water in a complex
world of jet-powered apes and time-travel." - Superman, JLA Classified #3
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