LNH/SG: Beige Midnight #9: PLANET MUHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!! II: "Mite-Lite of the Gods" (1/3)

[Arthur Spitzer]

On 10/18/11 1:11 PM, Andrew Perron wrote:

>
>> And Sister-SHOUT-the-Obvious looked at the two passed out supervillains.
>> "HMM!  THAT BEING SAID, IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD!  AND I CAN'T BE TOO
>> PICKY!  I WONDER IF THAT WEIRD LOOKING DINOSAUR CREATURE IS SINGLE!"
>
> Heeheeheehee.  I like her.

A Martin Phipps's creation I think... not sure
if she ever appeared in an actual story...
(google groups sucky search engine doesn't
help) or if all she ever appeared in was
SStatetO How to Write...


>
>> And there were four of them.  The first one was a blonde haired women with
>> swastikas tattooed all over her whole body.  She wore a leather SS outfit
>> and she wielded a black whip.  Her name was Hitlerinna Hitlerella.
>
> That's funny in and of itself, but I don't quite see how the
> counterpart-ness works, either for Kyoko or Crystal.

I was going more for a Four Receptionists of the Apocalypse here...

Hitlerinna being War...

>
>> As they entered the LNHHQ lobby, they saw three people manning the
>> receptionist desk.  Kyoko Ishikawa, who had two sharpened pencils in her
>> hand.  Lester O'Brien, who had a hot pot of coffee.  And finally Fred.  Fred
>> the Receptionist.  Who had a gun.
>>
>> "Could you explain to me why you're the only one of us that has a gun?"
>> asked Kyoko.
>>
>> "Hey, I'm not writing this story!" said Fred.
>
> It was in the Lost-and-Found.

Yeah, 'Found it in Lost-and-Found' would have
probably have been a better line...

>
>> "Shut up, weakling!" said Hitlerinna Hitlerella cracking her whip.  "This is
>> the beginning of the Master Race -- The Master Receptionist Race!!!!"
>> Hitlerinna cackled with glee.
>
> If chauffeurs ruled the world~
>
>> "Kyoko!  Lester!  Let's show these bums what we're made of!" said Fred.
>>
>> "That's easy for the guy who has the gun to say," muttered Kyoko as she
>> clenched her sharpened pencils in her hands.
>
> Heeheeheehee
>
>> Fred nodded.  "Yes.  Buddy.  Buddy the Hard-Drinking-Liquored-Up LNH
>> Receptionist!  He saved us with his drunk driving abilities."
>>
>> "God bless him," said Lester.
>
> A callback to the works of Arthur Spitz!?  Magnificent!

Yes, the greatest LNH Writer that never existed...

>
>
>> "Right at the moment this nerdy kid was being crowned King right next to the
>> hottest girl in school who was being crowned Queen something happened?  You
>> know what?  You know what happened next?  I'll tell you what happened.
>> There was a big bucket filled with pig's blood and right as the hottest girl
>> in school backed away the entire bucket spilled on this nerdy kid.
>
> How do you even *get* that much pig's blood, anyway?

I think in the movie 'Carrie' the kids go to some
hog farm and slit a pigs throat... although it's
been a long time since I've seen it...

>
>
>> "And now she's dead.  That's not right.  And
>> this isn't the first one.  There have been other classmates that have died
>> recently.  It's like someone out there is killing old classmates of mine.
>> Someone has to stop this.  Someone has got to figure this out.  Hey, I
>> know!  How about me?  I'll find out who this person is using my master
>> detective skills.  I'll figure this thing out!"
>
> ...you know, at this point, I'm not sure why he's still in the Legion.
> (And then I imagine Ultimate Ninja saying: "You want we should let
> *this* guy out into the world?" I'm not sure why he has a Yiddish
> accent.)

Someone needs to do some Elsewhirl about an LNH that
actually has standards...

But I suppose he's good for slaughtering aliens and
other disposable beings...


>
>> And the Ultimate Ninja stood over the dead body of Satan.  He examined the
>> black cold shriveled heart in his hand.  Satan's heart.  He had killed so
>> many this day.  Various galaxy eaters, apocalypse beasts, Crossover
>> Personifications (at least Four of the Flame Wars), The Midgard Serpent,
>> Net.hulhu, The Reanimated Corpse of Davy Crockett, Lord MUD (Again!) [See
>> Ultimate Ninja #11.5 For the First Time -- Footnote Girl], two popcorn
>> eating RACCelestials, and various other god like beings -- like they were
>> flies.  And now Satan.
>
> Doombots, all of them!

I suppose you're one of those people that
doesn't believe Wolverine could ever beat
Cthulhu...

But I'm sure wReam would have liked the idea
of the Ultimate Ninja mowing down Gods like
they're flies...

>
>
>>      "...And the might that glows shall rise and
>>       become the Mynabird.  And he shall drown the
>>       light..." -- Epilogues 58.5:12
>
> Innnnteresting.

Of course I don't know the real reason Rob gave him that
name...
>
>> "They're called the -- Last Resorters!  They're a team we use on only
>> impossible jobs.  Their team leader is an ex-LNH'r who had philosophical
>> differences with the LNH."
>
> Ooooh.  Very interesting.

Another concept that I'll probably do
nothing with... so feel free anyone
who's interested...

>
>> "They have a 10% success rate."
>>
>> "Only Ten Percent!"
>>
>> "Actually since we only ever use them for missions that are completely and
>> utterly hopeless -- it's actually pretty good."
>
> But do they have the courage that turns a 30% chance into 100%!?
>
> (Also, why aren't they sending these guys against the supervillain
> army?)

They need some superheroes to protect them from the
superheroes they nuke?

>
>> I'll try to get the next issue out before this year ends.  Hopefully,
>> I'll have it finished by the end of November.
>
> Yay~
>
> Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, you'd better, because sloth is
> coming...

Arthur "Thanks for the comments..." Spitzer