[LNH/LNH2] Vel #-2

Jesse Willey cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Fri Jun 25 04:24:20 PDT 2004

The flight thingee came down in the cargo bay.  The doors opened.  
Ultimate Ninja had called the entire LNH to the cargo bay.   His face
looked quite somber.  Everyone in the room knew what that meant. 
Somebody had died.

	"My fellow LNHers, it is with a heavy heart that I must report a
tragedy has occurred," Ultimate Ninja said.  "The rogue Legionnaire
Vel grabbed Jailbait to use as a human shield.  The two of them leapt
through some sort transportation vortex that had no other end.  Both
of them were killed.  Memorial services for Jailbait will be held
tomorrow at 11 am."

	Pizza Girl gasped.   She and Jailbait had been friends for years. 
Pizza Girl had spent all day trying to clear Vel's name, and he just
killed her friend.

	"That Bastard... he just...," Pizza Girl whispered.
	"It's not him," Sing Along Lass replied.
	"You would say that," Pizza Girl said.  

	Ultimate Ninja didn't step off the podium.   He gave the talking
audience a stern glare.  They quickly shut up.

	"As I was saying, Screw You Over Lad assisted in Vel's escape and is
now being escorted to the brig.  The good news is that traitor Vel is
gone.  Now, I'd like to introduce to someone who helped us defeat
him..." Ultimate Ninja said with excitement. "...Vel!"

		Vel #-2
	The Man I Never Was Part Three
	Time on the Lam
	By Jesse N. Willey

	  Jailbait finished picking bone clean of meat.  Roast tusked coyote
was not her favorite meal.  After six weeks of living in the desert
she was sick of it.

	"Hey Vel, why don't you get us something else to eat?" she whined.

	Vel tore off part of his uniform to wrap a wound.   He didn't want
Jailbait to see it.  He was her sole means of survival in the dorfan

	"Face it Princess.  We're trapped in the desert of Dorfia about 5000
years before either one of us we were born.  It's not like there is a
Bob's Big Boy anywhere around here," he said.
	"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she muttered.  "It's just that my eighteenth
birthday is two days from now.  Tusked Coyote isn't my idea of a
birthday dinner."
"You want something other that tusked coyote?  Fine.  Catch it and    
kill it yourself.   I won't stop you.   The Tusked coyote are slowed
down by the weight of their tusks.  They are easier to catch than most
creatures around these parts," Vel remarked.   He used the flat end of
a seashell to pull a short thorn from his arm.  "Damn it!"
Jailbait turned her head.

         "Are you alright?"
         "Yeah, fine," he grumbled.


	Vel took his mop and swabbed the deck of the spaceship.  He had
almost got it to the point where his master, The Prophet could see his
face in the floor.   This was good.  That meant it was only two or
three hours before he got his weekly 12 hours of sleep, then got up to
do it all over again.
	"Vel, my boy, get some sleep," The Prophet said.
	"What?  But I still have to do the dishes, polishing the swords and
sharpen the arrows," Vel said.

	The Prophet snarled.  

	"You must save your strength.   We have a great battle ahead of us
tomorrow," The Prophet said.
	"Yes, oh great Prophet," Vel said.
	"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?"  The
Prophet said.  "My name is Doctor Killfile the Prophet."


	As day broke, Jennifer left the cave.  Vel was already gone.  He must
have had those nightmares he kept complaining about.  For some reason
he hadn't taken his makeshift bow and arrows.  She had studied archery
in school and thought she could handle herself.
       She heard the squawk of some sort of bird.   She turned and saw
a dorfan ostrich being pulled under the water.  She placed an arrow in
her bow.  She pulled back and let the arrow flight.  It went thump
into what she hoped was the bird's leg.  Her dreams were shattered
when Vel emerged from the water.   He removed the arrow from his left
hand while he absent mindedly snapped the bird's neck.  He leapt out
of the water.  He pounced toward Jailbait.  She prepped another arrow.
 He snarled, lept up.  He grabbed the arrow and snapped it.

       "Vel?  Vel, it's me.  What's wrong?" she screamed.


	Ultimate lay on the Kirbytech bed.  He knew his body should be
healing.   The broken fingers and the blind eye should be a thing of
the past.  He was still in pain, but he'd never admit it.   Stomper
just glared at him.

	"So what's up Doc?" Ninja said.
	"You're not going to believe this, but the Kirbytech bed is not
working," Stomper replied.
	"No, I believe it.  The question is why?" Ninja said.
	"That anti-tachyon blast you put some sort of energy field around
you.  No advanced healing devices can help you," Stomper said.  "You
could be laid up for months."
	"Talking getting screwed over," said Ultimate Ninja.
	"Do you think Screw Over Lad did this on purpose?" Stomper asked.
	"Is The Pope Catholic?"
      Jailbait blasted Vel with her levitation.  This didn't work too
well the last time she tried it, so she wondered why she even tried. 
To her surprise, Vel fell back into the water.  He got up and spit
water out of his mouth.

     "What?" he asked.
     "What were you doing?" she asked.
     "I thought I was a little harsh you on you earlier.  So I tried
for game that was a little harder to catch," he said.
     "Oh...," Jennifer said hesitantly. 
     "What the frig? I thought you'd be pleased," Vel said.

      They remained silent for a few minutes. 

     "That's not what I meant," Jennifer said as she walked over and
helped him pick up the dead bird.
     "Then what did you mean?" 
     "Y'know, THAT.    You nearly tore that bird, not to mention me,
in half like some ferocious beast then suddenly you snap back to
normal.  What the hell was that?" she said.
      "What the frig you talking about?  Are you dissin' my culture? 
You don't see me insulting you because of you're part Irish.    What
you just saw was a sacred hunting ritual.     That ferocious beast as
you call it is just another part of me," Vel replied.
     "It just seemed unnecessarily cruel," Jennifer said.
     "Humans- you eat cows, yet not many of you are willing to work in
slaughter houses," Vel sighed.
     "Actually, if we get back, I was thinking about going Vegan," she


	Sing Along Lass sat in her room weeping.  She barely heard the
doorbell bleep.   The doors swooshed open.  Adamant Authority on
Everything burst in.

	"What do you want?" Sing Along Lass asked.
	"He's alive!" Authority said.
	"What?  Where?"
	"It was a Dorfan gateway, so I'm sure he's on Dorfia.  That's not the
problem.   The portal was hit by an antitachyon stream.  It's not a
matter of where really, but rather when is he," Adamant Authority on
Everything said.  "But since the gateway systems haven't been opened
in 5000 years, that would make a good starting point."


	Vel finished cooking the birthday feast.   Having cooked the bird to
perfection, he then began pounding on opened shell of a coconut like
object.  The feast was enough to fill two people for days.  It looked
delicious, but Jailbait turned her head away.

	"Ah... I haven't had Dorfan coconut milk since leaving Haven," Vel
said.  " five thousand years from now."
	"You told me those were highly alcoholic," Jailbait said.
	"Yeah, but on another planet thousands of years before any country
larger than a postage stamp exists to set drinking laws, who will
care.  Happy birthday, Jen," he said.

      He softly cracked open the coconut.	She hesitantly grabbed it
and took a sip.  Vel took the other half and chugged it down.

      "Cheers," she said with a laugh.


     A man tinkered in his lab.  The old blasted gateway had finally
been reassembled.  He knew it was time to get revenge and then correct
a mistake.

    "Next stop, ancient Dorfia.  This is our once chance to prevent
disaster.  Onion Man, you guard the gate.  Don't let anyone else
through unless I'm with them," the man said.
    "Got it, boss," said Onion Man. 


      The gateway began to glow.  Vel and Jennifer woke up.  
Jennifer's eyes cringed.  Her head was throbbing.  Other than that,
she felt great.  Better than great.  Her arms were wrapped around Vel.
   She didn't care that they hadn't made love.  She still felt better
than she had with Alvin.

     "You were been quite a seductress last night," Vel said.  
     "What did you say?" she said.
     "Nothing.  I was kidding.  You passed out after the second sip,"
Vel said.

      She wasn't paying attention.  Her mind shuttered for a moment as
she remember an alternate future timeline she had heard stories of
once.  It wasn't a pretty sight. Her thoughts began to be sucked away
as the glowing light from the portal got brighter. A man stepped out
of it.

     "Velnarc Peterson.  You're under arrest for attempted murder of
my uncle," the man said.
     "And you would be?" Vel said.
     "Johnny Stomper!"
    To Be Continued...
Ultimate Ninja and Adamant Authority on Everything created by wReam.
Pizza Girl and Jailbait created by Martin Phipps.  Onion Man is the
LNH2 version of Onion Lad created by Tom Russell and Dane Martin.
Johnny Stomper created by Joshua Geurink. Screw You Over Lad, Vel and
Vel created by Jesse N. Willey.
Everyone else is Public Domain.

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