[LNH2] Generation Zed: The New Class #12
cabbagewielder at yahoo.com
Thu Aug 26 19:28:33 PDT 2004
Johnny Stomper did not look happy. He signed the contract and stuffed
his copy in his pocket. He glared at Vel. He hoped his half dorf
friend knew what they were doing.
"Thanks for doing business," Disco King said.
He quickly walked off.
"Explain to me why we're hiring a net.villain again?"Stomper asked.
"Everyone deserves a second chance," Vel said.
"He beat up the Legion of Net.Hippies," Stomper said.
"The pizza boy could've beaten up the Net.Hippies," Vel replied.
"I don't see why we couldn't have just hired Alvin to do it," said
"Right, you two have issues," Stomper said.
Generation Zed: The New Class #12
Strange Visitors Part Four
Enslave the Last Dance for Me.
Plotted by Jesse N. Willey
Written by Martin Phipps and Jesse N. Willey
Kaalix kicked the bunk above him for approximately the ninety seventh
time. The thrust of his leg was followed by a soft ouch sound from
above him. Dran's wailing was immediately followed by Kaalix kicking
the bed again. Then there was a knock on the door. Kaalix pressed
the door open button. Token Boy walked in.
"Whattya want?!" Kaalix shouted.
"Umm, I was going down to the mall to get a suit jacket," Token said.
"I thought you guys might want to come."
"Yeah," Kaalix said. "I'll go. What about you, Dateless Wonder?"
Dran just grunted.
"What's his problem?" Token Boy said.
"Nothing," Dran said. "I'm just not going to dance."
"What?" Token Boy replied. "I think Cheesecake Eater Lass will be
Dran hopped off the bunk.
"I just have other things to do tonight," Dran said.
"Like what?" Kaalix said. "This should be funny."
Dran saw the local paper scattered on the floor. He took a quick
glance at the community calendar and then stared back up.
"Well, um, swimming lessons for one?" said Dran.
"Swimming lessons?" Token Boy said.
"Well, I'm from a mostly desert planet. There wasn't much chance to
learn," Dran said. "It'll help me get over that fear of water. Yeah,
that's it. Then I was going to um, help out at Net.Tropolis Animal
Shelter. Y'know cause I've always wanted a puppy and Dad said if I
could prove I could work well with animals, I could get one."
"When did he say that?" Kaalix said.
"Shut up, or I'll tell them about your recent thirty foot long
problem," Dran said.
"You mean my tapewo-," Kaalix said. "Damn it!"
"Hey, you said it, not me," Dran said.
Kaalix and Token Boy walked off.
"Loser!" Kaalix said.
Jennifer Young sat in her room. On her desk was stack of unopened
letters going back almost fifteen years. She'd always thought that
they were filled with Vel's self-justifications. She hesitated a
moment and opened the first one. She was surprised to see a simple
photograph of a baby. She half cried. She opened the next one.
It was a piece of paper with splotches of various colors on it. On
top was a little sticky tab which said `Dran's First Painting'.
She got up out of her chair. She walked out the door and down the
hall. She quickly found Vel's door. She pushed the bell. He opened
the door. She wrapped her arms around him.
"I'm sorry," she said.
He gently kissed her forehead and shut the door.
Token Boy walked into the Net.ropolis Academy with his arm
around Whining Girl. For a moment there, he wondered if he shouldn't
have joined Dran's swimming class, but he figured he was better off
going with Whining Girl than not going at all. Nor could he have gone
alone and been another "dateless wonder" as Kaalix had so eloquently
He looked around. Skateboard Repair Lass had come in a group
with Blackbird, Blur and Analysis. Irony Boy had come with Fan Girl.
He saw Organic Girl with some guy he didn't recognize. Kaalix and
K'Haleem were busy making out in the corner. He hoped that they would
have had the sense to go find a room before things got out of hand.
"Do you want to Disco Dance?" aLLiterative Lass asked SoWhat.
"Um, gee, how do I put this so that I don't traumatize you for
the rest of your life?" SoWhat wondered outloud. "How about... 'No'?"
"Um, girls?" Sarcastic Boy, with Penultimate Ninja right
behind him, approached VAMMO Girl and Major Marvel. "We'd like to
apologize for the way we've behaved all these years."
"Really?" VAMMO Girl asked.
"Well, yeah," Penultimate Ninja said. "I mean, I figure we
must have really pissed you off if you're not going to dance with a
couple of cool guys like us!"
"Just let me do the talking, okay?" Sarcastic Boy suggested to
Penultimate Ninja. "Anyway, we were wondering if there was anything we
could do to make it up to you?"
"Give us a minute, okay?" VAMMO Girl and Major Marvel
discussed the situation amongst themselves. "Okay. You guys go get
us some fruit punch and maybe -maybe- we'll dance with you."
"No problem!" Sarcastic Boy said.
Penultimate Ninja snickered and assumed his "I'm gonna get some"
ear-to-ear grin. "Cool it, will you?"
"What?" Penultimate Ninja asked, genuinely confused.
Disco King adjusted a few knobs on his equipment. Lights began
blinking in rapid, almost seizure causing speed. White noise blared
through the crowd. The volume slowly dropped. One message became
"Trash the Net.Tropolis Academy. Destroy LNH HQ! Obey!
Obey! Obey!" came sound from the speaker.
"Obey! Obey! Obey!" the dancers shouted.
Dran attempted the doggie paddle. He had managed to get halfway
through the pool, to the depth of eight feet and he had slipped. He
was having trouble keeping his balance. He struggled to make his way
to the ladder. He could hear someone coming swiftly behind. He
turned to see that it was Cheesecake Eater Lass.
"I heard I might find you here," she said.
"Hi," he said.
"Where's your class?"
"Onion Man cancelled it. I still need to practice," Dran said.
"And that's why you didn't ask me to the dance?" she said.
Dran grabbed the ladder and was finally able to
"Then why?" she asked. "Do you not like me or something?"
"What? What makes you say that?" Dran said.
"Because all the girls have dates, even Whining Girl, except me," she
"It's just that," Dran said pulling himself out of the water. "On
Dorfia, I never had many friends. Kaalix and K'Haleem only put up
with me because they had to. I just wanted to get use to that. I'm
not afraid of giant robots or weird diseases. But trusting people is
an entirely new experience for me."
AOOOGA!!! AOOOGA!! AOOOGA!!! AOOOGA!!
"We're under attack!" Cheesecake Eater
"Throw me the towel... please," Dran said quickly. "Let's
get upstairs and see what's going on!"
Cheesecake Eater Lass and Dran stared on in terror at the group of
net.heroes charging them en masse. They were still quite a ways off,
but they were at a complete loss of what to do.
"You've handled combat situations before, do something!" Cheesecake
Eater Lass said.
"Got it," Dran said. "This plan always works."
He reached into a cooler, grabbed a Barqs root beer, and leapt to top
of the trophy case. He waited few seconds for the fizz to settle
then opened the can, which leaked a little.
"How is that supposed to help?" she said.
"In a fight, I'm the guy with the communications device on the top of
the hill. I sip my root beer and instruct Kaalix how to pound the
living snot out of the thing," Dran said. "He's more dorf than I am.
He can take the punishment. I'm mostly human so pain's different. It
hurts me," Dran said.
"But Kaalix is under mind control," she said.
Dran didn't seem to be paying attention. He was lost in thought.
With the enemy no more than five feet away, he leapt off the trophy
"I got it. We head back into the banquet hall. We hit the Disco
King's equipment with something big with a weight somewhere between
one hundred and seventy five to two hundred pounds," Dran said.
"I don't like where this is going," Cheesecake Eater
"I know just the thing," Dran said.
"It'll tick Onion Man off."
"Yeah. It might break the Slurpee machine in the process. What did
you think I was talking about?"
Vel rounded everyone up in the kitchen. Everyone had a drink in
their hand. Onion Man was still covered in Slurpee syrup. Everyone
"First, I would to propose a toast, to the heroes of the hour
Cheesecake Eater Lass and Dran," Vel said.
"Cheers!" everyone shouted.
"Secondly, I have an announcement. Thanks to the fact that labor
unions don't really exist on Dorfia, the new rooms at the embassy are
finished construction and inspection. We're free to move back in.
Kids, that means we're going back on Monday," he said.
"Thank Moakonzi! I can't stand this hellhole much
longer," Kaalix said.
Kaalix and K'Haleem walked over to Vel and began cheering. Dran
looked over to SoWhat, Token Boy, Whining Girl, aLLiterative Lad and
then finally to Cheesecake Eater Lass. Their faces were somewhat
somber. Then he looked back Kaalix and K'Haleem.
"Ummm, Dad," Dran said. "I'm staying here."
"If that's all right. I fit in better here than I do with dorfs my
own age. I'm happy. I have friends here," Dran said.
"Hmm, this does pose a problem," Vel said. Seductress put her arms
around him and smiled. "It's fine by me, but perhaps we should ask
"My... mother?" Dran asked.
"Yes," Seductress said, "I'm your mother."
"And you too are...?"
"Back together," Vel confirmed.
"Well, this is great," Dran said.
"You don't seem so sure," Seductress observed.
"It's just all a bit sudden."
"So that's how he made me friggin float!" Kaalix grumbled.
Seductress sighed and ignored Kaalix. "I know. I'm sorry.
I blamed your father for taking you away from me, even though I knew
that you needed medical treatment that you could only get on Dorfia."
"Please forgive me!"
"Hey, it's okay!" Dran said. "You said 'sorry' already."
"This isn't Dorfia," Vel told his son. "it makes people
feel better here if they apologize."
"Okay," Dran said. "So, is it okay if I stay here?"
Seductress laughed. "Of course, silly!" She embraced her
son. Dran's new friends all applauded.
Vel, Dran, Kaalix, K'haleem, Skateboard Repair Lass, Alvin, and Disco
King created by Jesse N. Willey. Johnny Stomper created by Josh
Geurink. Token Boy, Whining Girl, Seductress, Sarcastic Boy, Organic
Girl, Irony Boy, Fan Girl, VAMMO Girl, Major Marvel, Penultimate
Ninja, aLLiterative Lad and Cheesecake Eater Lass created by Martin
Phipps. SoWhat, Blur, Analysis, and Blackbird created by Lalo
Martins. Onion Man created by Tom Russell Jnr. and Dane Martin.
More information about the racc