LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #286: A Lurk of Faith the Conclusion
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun May 14 14:00:49 PDT 2023
And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.
And here's where you can find Lurk of Faith and more 501 Blues
related stuff:
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/501.Blues/
And here's the Conclusion of The 501 Blues: A Lurk of Faith miniseries
by Todd "Scavenger" Kogutt! Is having to be leader of the LNH a
suitable punishment for not appearing in the Cosmic Plot Device
Caper?! Will Pocket Man get a brain virus that causes him to act like
Master Blaster?! Will the Man with the Black Hat become one of the
LNH's Greatest Villains?! Can Four Color Lad avoid dying in this mini
so he can die in the Kid Anarky mini?! And can Lurking Girl and
Rebel Yell's romance survive the whole 'Who's Lurking Lass and Who's
She Sleeping with?!' explanation thingee?!!
Find out in...
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| | Classic
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| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
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|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #286
=====================
A Lurk of Faith The Conclusion
=====================
(These credits really should've been in the last one, but here they are
in this one!)
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Klone Crimson (and his dialogue) (c) Mark Friedman and appears with permission
Shadow Knight (c) uplink and appears with permission
Shadowcat and Argus (c) Jay Brandt and , of course, appears with permission
Ratz and the Chatsubo (c) William Gibson, and hey-the a.c.c'ers stole it first!
All LNHERs belong to the group as a whole, cause we don't do that silly (c)
stuff yet.
THE 501 BLUES: A LURK OF FAITH
by SCAVENGER
CHAPTER 2: LURK BEFORE YOU LEAP----Part 1
LURKING GIRL was having a good day. The Electrocutioner's song had
been over for two days, and she had yet to involved in a cheesy
epilogue. Heck, the cross over itself hadn't been that bad. Well,
she had been kidnapped again. And then two of the villains had been
revealed to be her sons from some alternate future that could never
happen anyway. And then she found out that she wasn't their mother,
that damn LURKING LASS had shown up once again to plague her life;
_SHE_ had been the mother, and REBEL YELL had been the father!!!
Although she and Reb were only good friends, this had infuriated her!
And to top it off, POCKET MAN had been pestering her again! This was
shaping into a really rotten day, after all...
As she prepared to head down to the Peril Room to destroy something,
Lurking Girl noticed the ".sig for the day," which was flashing on
her monitor. SIG.LAD been posting them everyday amidst the joy of
being able to control his power. The message was especially poignant
today: "Cross-overs come, and cross-overs go, but a real story-line
lasts forever." Luri thought about this and realized that Sig was
right. It was _just_ a cross-over. And Pocket-Man was harmless---
annoying as anything, but harmless. She felt better already.
Lurking Girl finshed dressing. Checking herself in the mirror, she
made a decision: today was the day! No more stonewalling, no more
misdirection, no more evasion. Today was the day that she would
force Rebel Yell to tell her about Lurking Lass! "And if he won't
cooperate-operate," she said to herself, "well, I have ways of convincing
him....which would be a pretty fun way of spending the day too, heh."
Luri suddenly realized what she had said, and became a little
embarrassed. She wasn't quite sure where that thought had come from;
she also wasn't sure whether she minded it either. >sigh< "Ah well,
I'll figure it out eventually. Now where would Rebel Yell be?"
As if on cue, the Southern Knight's voice poured from the comm panel.
"LURKING GIRL, PLEASE COME TO THE HOLODECSTATION."
"Hmm," she thought. "That was easier than I thought. His voice
sounded...wierd, though, like he was straining to talk. Hmmm...well,
I'm sure he'll tell me what's wrong."
She left her quarters and headed to the HoloDecStation.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
On her way, Luri stopped to look at the team pictures on the wall.
She saw the first group of LNHers, the Golden Agers. God, she looked
young. And there was Rebel Yell off in the corner. She smiled at the
thought of the old days. As the pictures progressed, she noticed that
Rebel Yell had taken a position near the center. Being leader suited
him. It was...right. She stood next to him, in her position as
deputy leader. They had led this group better than anyone had
expected...including them. She noticed herself, in another picture.
"Funny, I don't remember taking that one....Oh well, I better get
going."
She turned to go and walked smack dab into...
"Pocket Man! Oh, uh, I didn't see you there." she stammered.
"Well I saw you, and what a sweet sight it was! So the boss man wants
to see you in the Holo-chamber, huh. Well, how 'bout you let me give
you some reality, say a week at the tropical resort of your choice? I
just happen to have tickets, first class I might add, to Aruba.
Think about it, you, me, the beach, the stars, me, a bottle of
champagne, a bear skin rug, and me, eh?"
Lurking Girl replied, "Uh, not that it doesn't sound, um,
delightful, but I'm afraid I'm really busy right now, y'know. Maybe
in a year or so...I'd love to talk about it, but I really have to run
now!" She hurried past him.
"Hey, babe, no problemo! I'll catch you late...'a year or so'!
Hey!!" But Lurking Girl had disappeared around the corner.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>sigh< "He can really get on your nerves, but I suppose I can't blame
him, heh." >giggle< "Ah! I'm here." A glance at the status board
told her that Reb was inside and alone. She primped her hair, entered
the room, and announced: "I just came by to tell you how wonderful I
am!"
The room was dark, but the light available from the hall showed Rebel
Yell sitting in a chair. He looked...weary.
She continued, "Aw, c'mon. that was a good allusion. Poignant,
meaningful, and really obscure. You should like it! But, uh, you
don't seem to, uh, be in the mood for amusing quotes, so I'll
just shut up now. Want to tell me what's wrong?"
"It's time."
"Time for what?" she asked, even though she suspected she knew the
answer. Maybe today's goal was a bad idea.
"It's time I told you about Lurking Lass. I would've told you sooner,
but truthfully, I didn't know. I had a few ideas, but no proof.
Earlier I found proof, and the truth is worse than I had thought."
Lurking Girl felt a twinge of nervousness. "Uh, if you'd rather
not do this now, it's okay with me..."
"Honestly, I'd prefer that you never find out. Only MULTI-TASKING
MAN, TYPO LAD, you, me, and my alt's know that you and Lurking Lass
were different people. And only LIST LAD and myself know the truth
behind it all. I would love to keep it that way, but the information
will eventually come out, and I want you to hear it from me."
"Oh, I see." Aruba was starting to look really good about now,
Lurking Girl thought.
"Please sit down."
Luri did so, and pulled her legs up and hugged her knees.
"Computer, run program."
Images of the early LNH filled the room. Around the seated
net.heroes, the HoloDecStation transformed into a scene from the past.
The images began to move...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
The Cosmic-Plot-Device-Caper was over. The villains had been
defeated, their evil plan foiled, and the Device itself had been
shattered. And even though Y-PLEX-BURP, the evil genius behind the
malicious manipulation of the Legion's lives, had escaped, the LNH was
quite pleased with the outcome.
Amidst the celebrations outside LNHHQ, a purple, green, and gold float
drove up. Out jumped the Southern Sentinel, Rebel Yell, his bolos
at the ready. "Hey, y'all. Where's the bad guys?!?"
SARDONIC LAD shouted out, "Hey, look who decided to show up!"
MARVEL_ZOMBIE LAD went up to Yell. "A bit late, aren't we?"
"Well, Mardi Gras floats get pathetic gas mileage. It took forever to
get here from New Orleans. I left as soon as I got the call to arms!
I didn't even finish filling in those caverns! What'd I miss?"
Lurking Girl and Organic Lass walked over. Lurking Girl smiled at
him, "Oh, not much. Only a battle in which the fate of the net.verse
hung in the balance. You know, the usual."
"Oh, hi, Lurking Girl." said the young net.hero.
She smiled at him, finding his shyness sweet.
SQUID BOY walked up, "Marvel_Zombie Lad, Lurking Girl, would you
please come over here for a minute."
The Calamari Crusader led the two to another group, consisting of
COMICS-SNOB BOY, FROTHING-AT-THE-MOUTH LAD, BIBLIOGRAPHY BOY, CATALYST
LASS, and THE TYGGER.
"What's that all about?" asked Rebel Yell.
"OBSCURE TRIVIA LAD doesn't know. Anyhow you missed a really great
battle. Obscure Trivia Lad means, there was Y-Plex, TABLE, some new
guy called ACTON LORD..."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lurking Girl was saying, "That's not fair! He got here as fast as he
could! He was on assignment, for Christ's sake!"
"Nevertheless," said Comics-Snob Boy, "An example must be set!"
"But nobody deserves _that_!!!"
"I agree with Lurking Girl," began Marvel_Zombie Lad, "It does seem a
bit harsh."
Squid boy answered, "He must learn. This is the only way."
Lurking Girl said, "I still think it's not fair. He feels bad enough
as it is. This will devastate him. I just hope he's told with some
degree of compassion."
"I'm glad you're volunteering for the job," Catalyst Lass said. "Rebel
Yell will take it so much better coming from you."
"Me! But, I...I don't want to be your hatchet man!"
"You do want him to be told gently, don't you?"
"Well, yeah, but..." Luri stopped, recognizing the no-win. "Ooooh....
Okay! Fine! I'll do it."
Squid Boy clasped his hands together. "Good. You go tell Rebel Yell,
and then I'll make an announcement to everyone."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Obscure Trivia Lad was still telling about the great adventure when
Lurking Girl returned to the group.
"Rebel Yell? Could I talk to you for a minute?"
"Huh...uh..Lurking Girl! uh..sure!"
The two walked off, leaving the group to mutter about Southerners
having all of the luck, and maybe they should try missing big battles,
too.
"Wh-wh-what can I do f-f-for you?" ask Rebel Yell, praying he wouldn't
say anything stupid.
"I have some really bad news for you, Rebel Yell. Some of the others
are really upset that you weren't here for the Caper, and, well, they
want to punish you, as an example. I mean, I argued against it, I
said 'Look, he got here as soon as he could' and everything, but they
wouldn't listen. Look, Reb--is it ok if I call you 'Reb'?"
"S-sure, you can call me _anything_ you like." Yell answered, mentally
kicking himself for saying that!
She smiled. "Reb, what I'm trying to say, is...well, that it's been
decided that you are to be l~~~~~." She mumbled the last word.
"What? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."
She sighed, "Ok, I guess direct is the best way. You, Rebel Yell,
have been made the _Leader of the Legion of Net.Heroes_."
"WHAT!?! HOW?!? But, that's..."
She went to him and put her arm around him. "I know, I know, it's not
fair. It won't be that bad."
"Yeah, right. You're just saying that to cheer me up, aren't you?"
"Well, yes...C'mon," she said, leading him towards the building. "Squid
Boy's gonna make a general announcement.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Squid Boy was standing on a platform in front of LNHHQ. Behind him
was a rather dejected Rebel Yell and a sympathetic looking Lurking
Girl.
"Ahem, could I have your attention please? Thank you. To start, I want to
congratulate everyone on a well fought battle. Good job!"
He was answered by shouts, hollers, and cheers, not to mention one air
horn.
Squid Boy continued, "Yes, it was a hard won victory, but we
triumphed! As you all know, however, one of our members was not
there. He failed to show in our hour of need. It has been decided
that this individual needs to be disciplined, so that he may learn, and
to serve as an example to others. The Legion has little power to
punish its members, but there is one way. We have decided that, from
this moment on, Rebel Yell is the official leader of the LNH!"
Gasps came from the gathered heroes. They were appalled at the cruel
trick fate had played on their comrade.
Rebel Yell stepped up to the microphone. He looked shattered. "I'll
t-t-try to do my b-b-best." he said meekly.
"To help Rebel Yell out, since we are not sadistic, Lurking Girl has
been named Deputy Leader."
"What!?!!" Lurking Girl stormed over to Squid Boy. "What do you mean I'm
deputy leader?!? What did I do?!?"
Covering the microphone, Squid boy said, "It couldn't be helped. The
readership would come down on us if we didn't have a woman in a
command position, now that we actually have command positions."
"That's not fair!" she protested.
"Think of the role model you'll be for all of the little girls in the
world. Think of the good you can do. Think..."
"Think of the amount of bullshit you're spreading. Fine, I'll do it."
She stepped next to Rebel Yell and hugged him, "Well, partner, looks
like we're in charge!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LNH<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"Freeze program." In the HoloDecStation, Lurking Girl turned to Rebel
Yell, "It's funny--back then, becoming leader was a fate worse than
death. Now, however, a month doesn't go by that someone isn't
challenging you or the Ultimate Ninja for the job."
"Yeah, once me and you succeeded in the job, better than anyone
thought, people saw the position as one of glamour, power, and fame."
"That _People_ cover we were on didn't hurt. Y'know, I had forgotten
how cute that shyness of yours was. You nearly fainted when I hugged
you then."
"Hmm, well, I was a bit overwhelmed with everything."
"Reb, why are we watching this? What does it have to do with Lurking
Lass?"
A chill ran down his spine, as Rebel Yell remembered the purpose of the
holo-program. He suddenly became very serious., but remained quiet.
"Yep," thought Lurking Girl, "Definitely, a rotten day."
TO BE CONTINUED....
501 Blues: A Lurk of Faith
Chapter 2: Lurk Before You Leap--pt 2
by SCAVENGER
"Reb, I still don't understand. You're being very cryptic."
Rebel Yell answered, still not looking at her. "I know, Luri. You just
have to trust me that everything is going to become clear."
Lurking Girl put her hand on the Southerner's. "I do trust you.
You'd never do anything to hurt me."
Yell pulled his hand away. In a strained voice, he said, "Computer,
resume program."
Once again, the HoloDecStation transformed into scenes from the
past....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The LNH spent the next week in transition. The idea of actually
having a leader took a bit of getting used to, especially since that
leader was Rebel Yell. Sure, he had joined the LNH when everyone
else did, but generally he had been a quiet, unimpressive member.
Rebel Yell had some adjusting to do, as well. Up until then, he had
stayed in the background, letting other net.heroes get all the
attention. Now, he was the one in the spotlight. The press
questioned the future of the LNH. Editorials derided the choice of
Rebel Yell for leader. Carson and Hall used Rebel Yell for
monologue fodder for a week. Letterman even based a "Top 10" on
him.
And besides all of that, he had to adjust to working with Lurking
Girl.
There were perks to the job, though. Rebel Yell got a huge office.
He moved into bigger quarters. Despite the feelings of the rest of
the world, the LNHers generally embraced him as leader. They
gave him the respect and loyalty the position deserved.
Not to mention, he got to work with Lurking Girl.
Lurking Girl's new position really didn't affect her. She also got a
big office, right next to Rebel Yell's, as well as larger quarters, and
she liked that. But Luri had always been a center of attention, sort
of strange for someone who's power is to not be noticed. And
while the press denounced Rebel Yell, it had nothing but praise for
her. Lurking Girl found everything about her deputy-leadership
wonderful.
Including that she got to work with Rebel Yell.
* LNH *
Rebel Yell and Lurking Girl had been leaders for a week when their
first challenge showed up...and it was a big one. The Man With The
Black Hat took over the United Nations, holding the General
Assembly hostage. He demanded ten billion dollars and that every
nation on earth change their traditional head pieces to black top
hats.
"That has gotta be the dumbest demand I ever heard!" said Rebel
Yell in LNHHQ, "Ignoring the absurdity of the hat thing, what good
is 10 billion dollars? No one could ever spend that much, especially
if he's wanted all over the planet!"
Marvel_Zombie Lad said, "Maybe he's gone nuts. That'd be great!
Every team needs a crazy, powerful enemy!"
Everyone in the Monitoring Room turned and looked at M_ZL.
Rebel Yell said, "Uh, right...uhm, Multi-Tasking Man, check out
what else is going on in the world."
"Gotcha!" said M-TM.
"Shouldn't we go take care of the Man With The Black Hat?" asked
4-Color Kid.
"Not yet...I have a feeling..."
Multi-Tasking Man interrupted, "Bingo, Yell. Military bases in the
New York area are being taken over by Hat Squads. The bases
were undermanned due to the troops being pulled to the U.N. A
number of major research projects are being done at the bases."
"So the U.N.'s a ruse." said Lurking Girl, "Good call Reb!"
"Ok, people, here's the plan!"
Rebel Yell and Lurking Girl divided the LNH into strike teams and
sent them off to deal with the Hat Squads, the Man With The Black
Hat's hench gangs. Meanwhile, the two leaders went to deal with
the Man himself. They infiltrated the U.N., and, while Lurking Girl
took out the Hat Squads, Rebel Yell was able to take away the
Man's Black Hat and defeat him.
This victory was extremely important. Not only were the
Ambassadors and the research projects saved, and no innocents
were harmed; it also proved to the world that Rebel Yell was the
right choice to lead the LNH. The papers cheered him. Carson, Hall,
and Letterman were fighting over who'd get him as a guest first.
* LNH *
The next few weeks were a great time for the LNH. They dealt with
various net.villains as they appeared. Applications to the team
flooded in. It was at this time that the cosmic crusader, Continuity
Champ, joined the LNH.
The Media circus surrounding Reb and Luri continued: talk show
appearances, the cover of _People_, as well as continuous coverage
in the tabloids:
"Can you believe this!?!" Lurking Girl stormed into Rebel Yell's
office, tossing a newspaper onto his desk.
"Huh. . . uh, h-hi, Lurking g-girl."
"Reb, we've worked together for a month now. Will you please call
me 'Luri'?"
"Uh. . . s-sure L-Luri."
"And knock off the shy act! It's getting annoying!"
"S-sor. . . uh, sorry."
"Good. Now, have you seen that !?!" she said, pointing to the paper.
Rebel Yell picked up the paper and read the headline, "'Lurking Girl
to Have Rebel Yell's Love Child.' Standard tabloid garbage. . . Not
much we can do about it."
"We could sue!"
"It'd take a lot of time and money. Besides, it's near impossible for
celebrities to win libel cases."
"We could blow 'em up!"
"Well, true. Luri, why is this bothering you so much? The tabloids
have been writing stuff like this for weeks."
Lurking Girl slumped into a chair. "I know, I know. It's just. .
.Why do people assume that just because we work together--
closely, for quite some time--assume we're a couple?"
"Uh. . . I don't know."
"I mean, why can't people accept that we're just friends? Can you
imagine how difficult it would be if the leaders of the LNH were
romantically involved?"
Rebel Yell shifted in his chair, "Uh. . . yeah."
Lurking Girl got up and headed to the door. "It's a good thing--I
guess--that we both want to remain friends. . ." She added more
quietly, "Right?"
"Right." He smiled at her.
"Good. . . Well, uh, I'll see you later." She closed the door behind
her.
Rebel Yell sat quietly for a moment and then picked up the phone
and dialed a number. "Hello, I'd like to cancel a flower order."
* LNH *
In her quarters, Lurking Girl was also making a call, "That's right.
Cancel my reservations for two tickets for _Phantom of the
Opera_."
* LNH *
Another week passed, with little activity. There was testing and
training of new members, and Multi-Tasking Man rewired the
transmat system, but otherwise, not much else happened. Then Y-
Plex Burped showed up.
He attempted to kidnap Lurking Girl. She and Rebel Yell were
walking down the street returning from a lecture at a local school.
They were busy talking, so they didn't notice a thug wearing an "I Love
Y-Plex Burp" t-shirt run up behind them and hit Rebel Yell over the head
with a baseball bat. He then grabbed Lurking Girl and threw her into a
van
Rebel Yell got up, groggily, and took off after the van. He pulled some
stun doubloons out of his belt pouch and hurled them at the fleeing vehicle,
hoping to blow out a tire. However, Rebel Yell apparently hit the gas
tank, for the van exploded into a ball of flame. He ran up to the wreckage,
hopping to find Lurking Girl still alive. He spotted Luri a couple of yards
away. Reb checked her out, and she seemed all right, just unconscious.
Rebel Yell assumed she had been lurking when the van blew.
Rebel Yell picked Luri up and signaled Multi-Tasking Man to
transmat them home.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Computer, halt program. Reb, that didn't happen. After Y-Plex
grabbed me, the next thing I knew, I was in the Fan.dom's lair."
"I know. You'll understand soon. Computer, resume program."
To Be Continued. . . .
The 501 Blues: A Lurk of Faith
Chapter 2: Lurk Before You Leap--Pt. 3
by SCAVENGER
The HoloDecStation continued:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Rebel Yell pressed the buzzer on Lurking Girl's quarters. "Luri,
you in? Organic Lass said you were released from the Med-Lab.
I wanted to check. . ."
The door slid open, and Luri's voice beckoned, "Come in, Reb."
Rebel Yell stepped in to the room, and the door slid shut. He
noticed that room was darker than usual. The only illumination
came from a red lamp near the door to her bedroom. Luri stood
next to the lamp, wearing an outfit, mainly lace, that covered
quite a bit less than her costume did. Reb turned back to the
door saying, "Uh. . .sorry. . . I'll, uh, come back when, uh, you're
dressed." He tried to open the door, but the open button didn't
seem to work.
Luri moved toward the Southern Knight. "Reb, the kidnapping
attempt started me thinking. Life is very short. Too short for us
to keep playing these games." She put her arms around his neck.
"Uh. . . .Luri. . ." His voice sounded a lot weaker than he had
planned.
She began planting small kisses on his face and neck. "In our job,
we could die at any moment. I don't want to die with. . . regrets."
And the light went out.
* LNH *
The next few days were business as usual. Luri and Reb decided
that for the time being, it would be best to keep their relationship
a secret. Luri's change in attitude went beyond her feelings for
Rebel Yell. She was more aggressive, less easy-going. To signify
the change in her, she changed her name to Lurking Lass.
A month and a half into Rebel Yell's leadership, the Legion of
Net.Heroes saw its greatest challenge. During one week, the LNH
faced defeat, found triumph, saved the universe, and saw the
true meaning of what being a hero meant. This was the time that
media had named _Beige Noon_.
* LNH *
>From the depths of the net came two beings of god-like powers.
They were evil. They were insane. They were Diskolor and
Dekay. . . the Bryttle Brothers.
They altered the universe to their mad whims. Dekay Bryttle
caused the very fabric of space/time to fall about and flake. Only
the edges were effected at first, but Dekay's effect spread inward.
Diskolor drained the universe of color, leaving it a yellowish-
brown.
Mass panic was everywhere. The LNH split its time between
fighting the disasters unleashed by the Brothers and saving
innocents caught in the villains' wake. Finally the LNH was able to
launch an attack against Dekay and Diskolor. The net.heroes
were swatted aside like flies. Mainstream Man had all of his color
drained from him. He was unable to exist in black and white. He
died slowly and painfully. Irony Man was killed by Dekay as his
own words flaked apart.
The LNH, defeated, prepared to recieve the death blow from the
mad gods. All hope was gone, and the world waited for the end.
Then, in a flash, 4-Color Kid realized his role in life. Charged with
the power of one who has found his true purpose, he flew into
the air and exploded. His life force left him and entered the net,
revitalizing it. The Legion was revived as well. They rallied and
defeated the Bryttle Brothers, weakened from 4-Color Kid's
sacrifice. However, while the LNH decided what would be done
with the captured entities, the two vanished, never to be seen
again.
* LNH *
Despite the tragedy of its dead members, the LNH experienced
yet another surge in popularity. There was also another
rush of applications. Typo Lad joined the LNH at this time.
To help deal with the influx of new members, Rebel Yell decided to
appoint a full co-leader. Lurking Lass declined the job, preferring to
stay in the background. She did suggest a few ideas for suitable
candidates. Rebel Yell, however, went with a choice of his own,
Continuity Champ. He had made a good choice. In fact, the choice
was so good, Rebel Yell decided to take a leave of absence.
"Reb, don't leave."
"Luri, I've been going non-stop for almost two months--two
months that included that thing at the U.N. and Beige Noon, I
might add. I need a break from the team. Besides, I never
finished filling in those caverns in New Orleans, now I will."
"But why now?"
"Why not now? CC is handling things fine. He's got everything
under control. Now's a good time. Why do you have a problem
with this?"
She turned away from him. "Because. . . I'll miss you."
"Heh, why don't you come with me?"
She spun around angrily, "I don't want to go! I want to stay
here! I want you to stay here!"
"What's gotten into you? We talked about me going away weeks
ago."
"Now is it not a good time!"
"Why not?!?"
"Fine! It's obvious you don't care about me! Leave!!!"
"Wait a second. . .I never said. . ." Lurking Lass interrupted him
with a right cross.
As she stormed out of the room, Lurking Lass screamed back,
"You want to leave? Fine!!! You can go to hell for all I care!"
* LNH *
Rebel Yell left. For the next week, Lurking Lass spent her time
playing up to various other LNHers, seemingly to take her mind
off of Rebel Yell. Organic Lass was rather concerned about her
behavior. Luri almost seemed to be up to something. Ori was
about to investigate, but the Split occurred.
The Split ripped through the net, shredding R.A.C. into a collection
of smaller worlds. The LNH was scattered throughout the new
realities.
* LNH *
2 1/2 months after he had been made leader, Rebel Yell returned
to LNHHQ. He learned that not only had the LNHers been lost in
the Split, many had also been captured by villains. Rebel Yell
was able to locate Multi-Tasking Man and free him from Dr.
Boring. Together they set about finding the rest of the Legion.
Typo Lad showed up and convinced Rebel Yell to search for the
mysterious Prodigal. During this journey, the pair encountered
L.E.G.I.O.N., a group of space explorers who claimed to be the
inspiration for the LNH. L.E.G.I.O.N.'s second in command was a
woman named Out-Of-Phase. She looked identical to Lurking Girl,
but possessed no knowledge of Rebel Yell or the LNH. Eventually,
Rebel Yell and Typo Lad were captured by the evil Fan.Dom of
the Alt.Ra. In his dungeon, they found an imprisoned Lurking Girl.
The trio escaped to rejoin the LNH.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Program ends."
The HoloDecStation went dark. And the only sound was Lurking
Girl's gentle sobbing.
END OF CHAPTER 2
The 501 Blues: A Lurk of Faith
Chapter 3: Delurker Us From Evil
by SCAVENGER
Rebel Yell spoke, breaking the silence. "That was how the
official LNH history reads. This next program is from
information provided by the Fan.Dom. Although I generally
would never trust him, other research backs up his claims." His
voice sounded tired.
Lurking Girl said nothing.
"Only myself, my alts, and Multi-Tasking Man know this
information. Computer, run program."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A few years from now, in 1999, Y-Plex Burp decides to take his
revenge on the Legion of Net.Heroes. His life has been nothing
but failure after failure, and he blames the LNH. Specifically, he
blames Lurking Girl, who was the catalyst for his defeat during
the Cosmic Plot-Device Conspiracy, many years before.
He hatches a devious plan. Obtaining a sample of Lurking Girl's
DNA, he creates a clone. But, Y-Plex uses his depraved genius to
modify the clone to his liking. For one, he makes her evil, pure
and unadulterated. He also gives he the ability to influence
others, specifically men. Y-Plex plans on sending his clone,
whom he names Lurking Lass, into the past to replace Lurking
Girl.
Y-Plex Burp contacts his past self, explaining his plan. Younger
Y-Plex is to capture Lurking Girl. Then, Lurking Lass will be
sent to replace Lurking Girl in the past, with Lurking Girl being
sent to the future. The two would never meet, so, if something
were to wrong, the plot would be left undiscovered. The older Y-
Plex has learned form his past mistakes. Once in the past,
Lurking Lass will be released, as if she had escaped, to rejoin
the LNH.
Y-Plex the elder tells Lurking Lass that she is to move herself
into a position to influence the Legion. Then she will be able to
lead them all into a trap for younger Y-Plex Burp. Everything
ready, he sends his clone into the past.
* LNH *
The time traveling caught the attention of the Fan.Dom of the
Alt.Ra. In a curious mood, he snatched Lurking Lass out of the
time stream, placing her in a stasis field to examine her.
"An evil seductive lurker from the future. . . How quaint! So, Y-
Plex Burp wishes to play time games. . . I shall let him proceed.
But, Lurking Girl WILL BE MINE!!! HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!"
The Fan.Dom put Lurking Lass back into the time stream to
complete her journey. She displaced Lurking Girl in the past.
As Lurking Girl headed to the future, the Fan.Dom grabbed her
from the stream and imprisoned her.
Lurking Lass was with the Legion for about five weeks. During
that time she attempted to manipulate events to her liking. She
seduced Rebel Yell, a rather simple job. She opposed the idea of
a co-leader, but, since Rebel Yell would not budge on the idea, she
nominated LNHers who would be ineffectual or easy to control.
She felt that it would better suit her plans if she stayed in the
background, secretly running things. Rebel Yell instead chose
Continuity Champ. Lurking Lass realized that, while seducing
Rebel Yell had been easy, further manipulation of him was near
impossible.
When he had left, she started to build a power base to oust
Continuity Champ. Due to his cosmic nature, she couldn't
manipulate him. She was about to unleash her plan,
throwing the LNH into chaos for Y-Plex Burp, when the Split
occurred, scattering the net.heroes.
Lurking Lass, herself, was thrown through the void. she made
her way across worlds, setting off wars and starting flames
where she could. She tried to create as much havoc as possible.
Eventually, she wandered into the Cyber-Punk Hierarchy. As
do most visitors to those worlds, she found herself at the bar
known as the Chatsubo.
She looked around, searching for someone useful. She found
that someone sitting at the bar, Netlurker. She studied him for
a moment, decided on her strategy and went up to him. They
talked for awhile and then left the bar together. What
happened next is unknown. It is assumed, though, that it was
at this time, Netlurker learned of the Legion of Net.Heroes and
turned his attention to its world.
After that Lurking Lass vanished. Neither the Fan.Dom or the
Chatsubo archives have records of her after her meeting with
Netlurker. It is surmised that she somehow became Out-Of-
Phase of L.E.G.I.O.N., but that is only a theory. No other
information has been found.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Program Ends."
"Lights." The HoloDecStation slowly became brighter, allowing
the two residents' eyes to adjust to the light. Rebel Yell turned
to Lurking Girl. Her eyes were red from crying. She was silent.
In a strained voice, he said, "I'm sorry. . ."
She turned toward him. "You're sorry? What are you sorry
for?!? All you did was fuck someone you thought was me! I
should be flattered!"
"Luri. . ."
She slapped him. "You bastard!!!" Lurking girl stormed out of
the HoloDecStation, leaving Rebel Yell alone.
And he stayed there. Sitting in the empty HoloDecStation. By
himself. Alone.
>From the comm panel, Multi-Tasking Man's voice said, "Rebel
Yell? Lurking Girl just stopped by. She, uh, took her symbol off
the active board and threw it in the garbage. Reb, she seemed
very upset. She left the building, carrying a suitcase, like she
was leaving for good.. Uh, you want me to keep an eye on her?"
"No, it's over."
"I didn't catch that."
"Let her go. It's the way it had to be. The Fan.Dom's book said
so."
"You sure about this?"
"No, but I don't get a choice. Please seal the Lurking Lass files.
And, uh. . . thanks for your help, M-TM."
"Sure. Uhm, you coming up?"
"No, I think I'll stay here for a moment."
End Chapter 3
The 501 Blues: A Lurk of Faith
Epilogue: The Final Lurk
by SCAVENGER
Eventually, Rebel Yell left the HoloDecStation. He headed towards
his quarters, past the team pictures. He noticed Organic Lass
heading toward him from down the hall, but he decided that he'd
rather be alone, so he walked the other way.
He walked right into Pocket Man, who said, "Hey, Yell. I noticed
Lurking Girl leaving in a hurry earlier."
Pushing past him, Rebel Yell said, "Leave me alone, Poc."
Pocket Man followed him. "Looks like you blew it big time,
buddy. I got to thank you, though. The door is wide open for me
to sweep that bodacious babe off her feet!"
Time seemed to freeze. Rebel Yell spun around. There was a
flash of crimson, and Pocket Man fell to the ground, his stomach
ripped open. Rebel Yell turned back down the hall, blood dripping
from his clinched fists.
Organic Lass, seeing this, ran up to Poc. She pulled a stasis-pack
from her med-pouch and summoned an auto-stretcher. The pack
stabilized Pocket Man, but left him conscious. She told him, "Hold
on. You'll be ok. I'll get you to the Med Lab in as moment." She
ran up to and grabbed Rebel Yell on the shoulder. "What the hell
do you think you're doing!?! Who the. . ."
Rebel Yell turned and looked at her. Seeing his face, Ori stopped
talking. Her eyes seemed to be playing tricks on her. Rebel Yell
was one of her oldest friends. She could pick him out of any crowd.
But, just then, Reb's face looked. . . wrong. It was like there was a veil
covering him, but there wasn't.
Rebel Yell turned and walked away. Organic Lass was going to
stop him, but Pocket Man called out, "Uh. . . Hey! Remember me?
The guy with the hole in his stomach?" Ori, reluctantly, turned
away and went to Poc. She signaled the auto-stretcher to pick
him up. As they headed toward the Med Lab, Poc said, "You are
so good to me."
She smiled, "That's my job. It's nothing personal."
As they entered the Med Lab, he said, "By the way, what are you
up to next week? I got these two tickets to Aruba . . ."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
In his quarters, Rebel Yell looked in the mirror. Organic Lass'
words echoed in his mind: "What the hell do you think you're
doing!?!"
He watched the redish water drain from the sink, and then just
stared at himself. He glanced over at the Fan.Dom's journal
sitting on a table. He said, "I don't know. . . I really don't know."
The End. . . for now.
==========
Next Week: Something something LNH!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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