LNH20: Make Boring Art: The Series #8

[Drew Nilium]

Make Boring Art #8
Written by Drew Nilium

"Hello again, my name is Boring Arthur," said Boring Arthur. "Today we're going 
to discuss writer's block. With me I have Boring Commando Jimmy."

"Yes, hello," said Boring Commando Jimmy, who was dressed in a camo outfit for 
some reason. "Writer's block is when you can't think of anything to write, and 
you get stuck."

"Yes, and I believe we had a whole series about this previously."

"That's correct, and that's why this issue is boring even tho I'm wearing a camo 
outfit for some reason. It's repetitive."

"Good to know. So what causes writer's block?"

"Insecurity and perfectionism, mostly. A sense of not being able to live up to 
what you've already written. At least in our case."

"I see. And how do you get over writer's block?"

"You can't."

"...well, that's rather an unpleasant answer. I was thinking, you know, that 
your answer might be, make some intentionally bad art to break your sense of 
needing to reach some standard of perfection."

"No, that doesn't work. You'll be stuck forever."

"...excuse me, this series is called Make Boring Art, not Make Depressing Art. I 
think this is wholly uncalled for, and inaccurate besides. Clearly, it's 
possible to get over writer's block; again, we had a whole series about that."

"Fuck you." Boring Commando Jimmy pulled out a machine gun. "You aren't making 
art anyway, so you may as well be blocked!"

Boring Arthur stood up! "Boring art is still art! You can't say that something 
isn't art because you don't like it!"

"I can and I am! Eat this!!"

[WARNING: EXCITING EVENTS DETECTED. PLEASE ENJOY THIS EXCERPT FROM THE WIKIPEDIA 
ARTICLE ON TEXTILE BLEACHING UNTIL THINGS CALM DOWN.]

Bleaching can be dated back to at least 1000BC from an Egyptian list found in 
the tomb of Rekh-mi-re at Thebes, which mentioned both bleached and unbleached 
linen.[8] Mulrooney dates it back as far as 5000BC,[9] while Walton claims it 
was introduced to Egypt from Asia.[10] It’s plausible that it was discovered 
independently by different cultures. It’s generally assumed to have developed--

[WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BOREDOM.]

Boring Arthur stands in a room pockmarked by bullet holes, with flickering 
darkness in the back corner from a broken light. His face is bruised and his 
knuckles are bloody. Boring Commando Jimmy is nowhere to be seen.

"We have failed today at making boring art," said Boring Arthur. "However, we 
will try again tomorrow. Please join us then."

Drew Nilium