LNH: Another LNH Title? Really? #14: This Date, This Disaster!

[Drew Nilium]

On 8/31/22 9:41 AM, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
<snip>
> SHORTLY AFTER THE SABERTOOTH PLAGUE IS CURED IN NET.ROPOLIS, WHICH IS, UH, I'M 
> GOING TO ASK DREW IN CHAT, GIVE ME A SEC... LATE MAY, 2020:

They did, too X3

> Catalyst Lass had a lot of things on her mind: preparing for the war against the 
> Crossover Queen, tracking the activities of the new Doctor Killfile or the 
> Brotherhood's new leader, seeking out new LNHers who'd been activated by the 
> Catalyzation Wave. But there was one thing that was making her more anxious than 
> anything else:
> 
> "I'm going on a date!"

:D :D :D <3 <3 <3

> Hell Catalyst, her "sister," looked at her from over her phone screen where she 
> was playing to win the anime girl version of Boy Lad in some gacha game.

I want to play that. X3

> "I'll be blunt, Hell Catalyst, I'm scared. I haven't been on an actual *date* in 
> ages. Not since the days I was kind of going out with Particle Man, uh... I 
> *really* don't want to think about how many years ago that was."

hahaha, relatable. @-@

> "Is it? Okay, what about the time you and Tara were independently going 
> undercover in the HexFire club and you were evil lesbianing at her?" [Beige 
> Countdown #4-2??? Maybe??? Who knows--ed.]

Oh, yeah, that could be what that is. X3;;;;

> "All right, fine. I've never been on a date with her where I wasn't pretending 
> to be evil to trick a mind controlling cat.

#relatable

> "She'll what? Do you think she'd stop wanting to have anything to do with you 
> after everything you've been through?"
> 
> "Well... My head says no, but my anxiety says yes. The main thing is, I... I 
> don't want her to feel bad."

#actuallyrelatable

> "That's why you need me around sis. To tell you the things you already know."

^.^

> Token Girl was waiting outside on the LNHQ parking lot, astride her motorcycle. 
> "Oooh, nice," said Catalyst Lass. "But uh, I though the Sing-Along Cafe was in 
> walking distance..."
> 
> "Yeah, but walking isn't *cool,*" said Tara. "Nothing but the best for *my* 
> girlfriend."
> 
> "Eeeee," said Catalyst Lass.

Neeeeeeeeeeeeerds. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

> They drove up to the Sing-Along Cafe, the place where everyone knows your name, 
> whether or not they've seen you before. (A metaphysical aftereffect of when 
> Net.Gods had performed there.)

:3 Love it.

> They ordered their dinner, talked about everything and nothing, and then it was 
> time to sing. Tara stepped up to the stage. Cat looked up at her girlfriend with 
> adoration in her eyes.

eeeeeeeee. ^.^

> And then a man walked into the Sing-Along Cafe. A very muscular, very familiar 
> man. Cat's heart sank and she recognized the Chuggernaut.

Oh noooooo. X3

> "Sorry," said Token Girl, "hate to break it to you but... I don't drink anymore."
> 
> "You don't... what?"
> 
> "Yeah, the last time I did a drinking contest, I kind of.... died. And I'd 
> rather not go through that again. So I'm going sober, at least for a while."

Always valid, but *especially* in this case o3o;;;

> "You're going... sober?" Chuggernaut said that word like it was the most 
> disgusting, horrifying thing in the world. "Then... I trained myself in the Beer 
> Hall of the Mountain King... I came here... for nothing?"

heeheehee

> But Catalyst Lass was in her element. "OK," she said, getting up out of the 
> seat, "but you could still do karaoke, right? Nothing goes together like being 
> drunk and terrible singing."
> 
> The Motivational Maiden blinked her eyelashes and exerted the utmost of her 
> persuasive power on the Chuggernaut... and it worked.

Hell yeah! :D

> But then, a cold metallic voice spoke: "HALT. DO NOT MOVE. YOUR USE OF SONG 
> LYRICS IS INFRINGING OF COPYRIGHT. YOU WILL BE DEMONETIZED."
> 
> Three huge silver robots clanked into the cafe, bristling with weaponry. Some 
> patrons rushed out, some took out their phones and snapped pictures. "God damn 
> it," said Token Girl. "Takedown Bots!"

omg! We finally get to see them X3

> "No way in hell you're demonizing me! This is a parody universe so we can quote 
> all the damn song lyrics we want!" slurred the Chuggernaut.

YEAH!!! >:o

> Exerting all his beer-commercial power, the Chuggernaut summoned a group of 
> scantily-clad beer commercial babes, wielding huge broadswords like some 80s 
> sword and sorcery flick.

YEAH! :D

> Catalyst Lass rolled her eyes at the blatant pandering to the male gaze, then 
> noticed her girlfriend was ogling their butts.

X3 <3

> "All right," said Chuggernaut. "I'm going into super mode!" A halo of energy 
> began to corusctate around him. "BUD... WEIS... ER!" His flesh began to melt and 
> bubble.

Holy shit :o

> He was turning into a giant Budweiser Frog-man! [Does anyone even 
> remember the Budweiser Frogs anymore? I remember when my high school science 
> teacher had a Budweiser Frogs screen saver--oh right, the story--ed.]

omfg X3; I *vaguely* do?

> "Ahaha," said Catalyst Lass, handing more money to the waitress. "Sorry about 
> that."
> 
> "It's ok," said the waitress flatly. "This kind of thing happens all the time."

Customer service, am I right?

> "Yessss!" said Token Girl, high-fiving the Chuggernaut.
> 
> "Ha! I knew I was awesome," he said. He went back to singing a surprisingly 
> emotional rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart.

They're friends now. n.n

> Now was the time for Tara to sing. She got up into the stage, spotlight shining 
> on her. "You can do it," mouthed Cat. The song was Moonlight Densetsu. She sang 
> it without missing a beat. The entire room cheered, even the Chuggernaut.

D'awwwww.

> "Look..." she 
> said. "I'm... sorry about how that went. That kind of thing tends to happen when 
> I go on dates. I hope you--"
> 
> "Are you kidding?" Token Girl laughed. "That was great It's been way too long 
> since I had a real knock-down drag-out fight like that. I feel a lot better. And 
> now that I'm feeling energized, well... *wink*." Yes, she'd actually said 
> "wink." It was wonderful.

omfg <3 ADORABLE

Drew "they're SUCH nerds" Nilium