LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #236: Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade that will Probably Never Have an Ending Part Two

[Drew Nilium]

On 3/13/22 5:07 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
 > Jeanne Morningstar gives us another 'Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That
 > Will Probably Never Have an Ending' chapter (#4?) (#1NOW?)  Will this be The
 > NEW Birth a Villain we've all been waiting for?  Or will it somehow be more
 > Saviors of the NET or Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig?

All three! \o/

 > Usenet is dead, to begin with. That much, everyone can agree on. But there
 > are a few corners of it that still cling to fitful life. One of these is
 > alt.obituaries, where the dead come to pay respect to the dead.

This is such a good fucking paragraph.

 > "Victoria!" shouted Net.Access. Abruptly, she reared up on her hind wheels
 > and transformed into a giant robot. She strode over to where Victoria was and
 > kicked one of the spambots out of the way, then grabbed the other and threw
 > it at the wall.

HELL YEAH

 > Victoria was so overwhelmed by how cool this was that she almost got twhacked
 > by a Spambot tentacle.

*I can empathize*

 > "I'm better now. Just had to figure out what genre I was in."

I can also empathize with that.

 > She bent over and kissed her. Victoria felt a rush of warmth and life and
 > excitement, like nothing she could remember. Of course, that didn't mean it
 > hadn't happened anyway. She abruptly pulled away.

That's being trans and queer and anxious, all right!!

 > "Yeah!" said Alice. She laughed. "I can't believe this. My dream is coming
 > true. Ever since I was a college freshman taking fourteen credit hours at
 > Dave's Thomas Deluxe University, staying up late at night listening to news
 > reports about the LNH, I dreamed about being a hero. Then I got mixed up in
 > all this cosmic stuff and became the embodiment of crossover-ness or something
 > and I was just struggling to stay alive. Now, I can be a real hero. We can
 > save the world together."

Another relatable thing. X3

 > "What was the point of all that?" said Kid Remender. "I didn't come her to
 > see people talking about their relationships."

Anybody remember Rick Remender nowadays? I'm asking honestly, I have no idea
what comics discourse is like anymore. X3

 > "The Spambots," said Occultism Lord, "are the most hardy and pervasive element
 > of the web ecosystem. They will survive when everything else is gone. They're
 > the cockroaches of the internet. If the Spambots themselves are dying off,
 > than what does that say about Usenet?"

That's a good friggin point, that's one that's stuck in my mind.

 > In the LNHQ rec.room, a man sat alone. His face was covered in demonic-
 > looking face paint and a helmet with enormous and unwieldy horns.

There's our boy!

 > "Yo, Anti-Christ Lad, I get that a man's gotta monologue sometimes, but chill
 > down! Some of us are trying to dig some funky music over here." said a rather
 > zaftig young woman with messy natural hair. She wore bell-bottom jeans and a
 > white bra that happened to be on fire. She was Burning Bra Lass, the Spirit
 > of Feminist Vengeance, who like Anti-Christ Lad was part of the Legion of
 > Net.Hippies, brought forward from The Sixties (tm) to the present.

She's great and I'm sad I never really found a place to use her before the Time
Door plot wrapped up. X3

 > "OK, that's enough of that," said a voice from the distance. A pale, dark-
 > haired woman appeared on stage. She wasn't dressed like a net.hero, but in
 > this room full of gaudily dressed superbeings she held herself up like she
 > owned the place.

Whoof. *Lots* of feelings here.

 > It was a stick of chalk in the shape of Slobbering Grue! with "I'm Chalk!"
 > written on the packaging. She glared furiously at it before opening the chalk
 > and starting to draw on the blackboard.

I love imagining her randomly angry >:o expression.

 > He furiously pressed the buttons on the control panel, and a picture flashed
 > on the screen. A picture of the being he had dedicated his life to, an
 > obsession that consumed the core of his being. "And then you, Time Crapper,
 > shall attain whatever inscrutable goals you seek. And I shall at long last be
 > free of the wretched prison in which I have for so long been trapped... THE
 > FRIEND ZONE!
 >
 > He looked up at the picture with a look of swoony devotion. He often spent
 > several hours of every day staring at it. "AND LYDIA DEVIN WILL FINALLY
 > NOTICE ME!"

I love how absolutely awful he is. It's a good antidote to the "yes but maybe
the genocidal maniac's self-important justifications have a *point*" of the
Infinity War movie.

 > The Crossover Queen had gathered the deadliest of her forces together in her
 > throne room. Cyborcs, Imperial Spambots, Dire Moa, Gogmagogs, Mer-Yeti, and
 > other creatures too numerous and horrible to mention clustered around the
 > throne.

I absolutely love the Narnia reference here.

 > And at their head stood the figure who would lead the first wave of her
 > assault on Looniearth-A. It was a teenage girl dressed in aggressively gothic
 > clothing. How she could move with all the belts and chains she wore was a
 > mystery to everyone.

IT'S OUR GIRL!!! :D :D :D

 > "Oh my god!" said one of them. "You don't know there's a Sidekickz concert?
 > They're almost as cool as One Direction!"
 >
 > "Whatever," said Merissa. "I'm as cool as *two* directions.

This is a line I think about all the time. X3

 > "I'm afraid he's right," said Irony Monger. "The only thing left to do is to
 > destroy Looniearth-A."

DUN DUN DUNNNN

Drew "gogmagoggoggoggoggoggg" Nilium