LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #44: "A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Bandshell"

Drew Nilium pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat Sep 11 19:09:15 PDT 2021

#44: "A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Bandshell"
A tale of token check-ins and catalytic conundrums


This wasn't the first time Token Girl had been pulled along by an enormous
crowd of weirdos all heading in the same direction. But this wasn't an anime
convention - it was a battle.

Revamp Lass and Romantic Innuendo were grappling with each other. OTP was using
her claws to deflect Deathspork's sporkarangs. Polybag Person was screaming and
running from Gracemora. Rumor Monger was clutching onto Captain Coredump's cape
and dodging her blades as he whispered things about the secret back doors built
into every C compiler. Crossplay King was trying to cover Continuity Porn Star
in an inescapable mountain of costumes. And Plotchopper was in a different place
every time you looked at him.

Yet somehow, the footwork and flailing of the battle was leading inexorably
towards the park. No - Token Girl felt an irresistible pull towards something
*within* the park - the Net.ropolis Bandshell. If she hadn't had so much
experience with Catalyst Lass, she wouldn't even realize it wasn't her own idea.

She had run into the lobby of the LNHQ, into some kind enormous battle royale
between the West Coast and East Coast Brotherhoods of Net.Villains, when over
the PA system someone had shouted "LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!" and everyone had
immediately done so - definitely Cat's powers, or maybe her sister's. But once
they'd run outside, some other force had taken control of the feeling, and now -
she looked up and up and *up*. While the force was pulling them away from one
giant monster battle, it was pulling them *towards* a bigger one!

"Die, member of the East Coast Brotherhood of Net.Villains!" Token Girl ducked
reflexively as a gout of fire blasted over her head. She rolled to the side and
saw a beautiful red-haired woman dressed in jeans and a wool T-shirt with
"CLONE" stenciled on it, pointing a flamethrower at her.

"Wait, I'm not--"

"What ho, ye varlet!" Token Girl dodged reflexively in the *other* direction as
a ball of unlife-energy whizzed by her. Above the scrum floated an androgynous,
dark-skinned person, probably Latinx, in black armor with ornamental blue lines
and a dramatic cape. Their dark blue lipstick looked *amazing*, and the nails
of the hand they were stretching out at her were painted a similar dark blue.
"The Black Halo demands satisfaction, for none may mess with the vibe of a death

Great-- even in the middle of a battle, she was attracting weirdos. Well, at
least she could stop worrying about where she was being taken for a bit. She
pulled out her slingshot and exploding bus tokens, and let herself become part
of the chaos...


Chaos Theory sat alone atop the Bandshell. Masterplan Lad had gone to meet his
destiny, and they were left to see things thru.

It was hard, keeping things going, trying to work towards an ending. Every time
it seemed like things might finally be resolving, some other complication
started up, egged on by petty, venal jerks.

But, well, that was the work. They loved being a cosmic trickster, but they
loved the people of the multiverse more. And so, they watched, as the next
complication approached, and waited to play their part...

Drew "just keep it steady" Nilium

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