JE/REPOST: Journey into Procrastination #1

[Drew Nilium]

On 11/12/21 1:42 PM, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
> Note: Originally published December 20th, 2011
> 
> This was one of the handful of stories I wrote in the early 2010s which helped 
> lay the groundwork for what I'm doing with in The Hermetic Garbage of Jenny 
> Everywhere now. Since writing this, I actually have read the Three Musketeers as 
> well as a number of other Dumas novels; we'll be seeing what this world looks 
> like filtered through the actual style and themes of Dumas soon enough.

God, this story feels so classic to me. X3 So foundational.

> I have a tendency invest a lot 
> of energy and hype in stories I never get around to actually finishing, but the 
> ideas I have now about Jenny Everywhere and the LNH have evolved into much 
> better ones than I had then, so maybe it's good I didn't write it then.

I feel like that about a lot of my long-delayed storylines. X3

> A class on 19th-century French
> literature might not seem terribly relevant for someone who wanted to
> get into physics and help design an FTL drive. But she felt that it
> was important to have a complete education, so she could preserve the
> wonder and adventure of studying science and not lose track of its
> wider human context.

This is very forward-thinking pre-tech-companies-creating-the-Torment-Nexus

> She was Jenny Everywhere. She could access all the memories and
> knowledge of all her counterparts in all parallel universes, and the
> power to travel to any of them. And every single one of them, at the
> moment, was more interesting than this one.

Oh, that's ADHD

> Why was she even doing this? Surely somewhere in the multiverse some
> other version of her was working on an exam question about _The Three
> Musketeers_. Couldn't she just pull the answer out of her head and
> call it a day? No. It was important that she learn how to work through
> these kinds of problems. Besides, in the other world the book might be
> a little bit--or a lot--different.

It's a good point

> Walking into this strange, dark building made her aware of how far
> from home she was. The ship she was traveling in was taken from China
> to this land called France by a tornado, and she was the only
> survivor. So she disguised herself as a man and joined the Musketeers.

I really like the modified version of this origin you're doing now-- ah, but 
that hasn't been posted yet...

> "You have corrupted church and state!" shouted Athos. "You have
> feasted upon the blood of innocents! But no longer! Your day of
> reckoning is at hand, Cardinal Dracula!"

yessssss Cardinal Dracula :D

> "Bah! Greater men than you have tried and failed. But enough talk!
> Have at thee!"

:D :D :D

> "No!" said Aramis weakly, struggling to stand up. "You shall not harm
> my strangely attractive comrade in arms!"

Heeheehee :3

> She drew the
> other sword she had brought with her, a sharpened wooden bokken she'd
> been given by her merchant father. It was the only thing of her old
> life she had left. "I wooden stake my life on it!" she shouted,

omfg

> plunging the blade into Cardinal Dracula's heart. Then she realized
> that pun didn't work at all in French. One of her English-speaking
> counterparts must be tapping into her mind. Oh well.

XD XD XD

> Dracula screamed in pain. Then he drew a metal object from his robes.
> "Behold the Reliquary of Baphomet!" It glowed and his flesh began to
> shift and change. His bones began to crack and reshape, he started
> growing, and scales covered his skin. "Now at long last you shall see
> why I am called... THE SON OF THE DRAGON!!!"

SO FUCKIN COOL :D :D :D

> But she was feeling
> excited and energized after living through that battle. She looked at
> the question in front of her and then somehow an answer popped into
> her head, beautifully clear and fully formed. She took up the pencil
> in her hand and started writing furiously. She put the last period on
> the last sentence just as the class came to an end.
> 
> A few weeks later she got the exam back. She'd gotten a B. Every
> question was correct except the one about _The Three Musketeers_. The
> teacher told her that her answer was highly entertaining, but novel
> didn't have any Mind Flayers, whatever those were.

X3 <3

Drew "classic, utterly classic" Nilium