RACCies: 2017-2018 (24th & 25th Biennial) RACCies Ceremony

[Drew Nilium]

Content warning: The 45th President of the United States of America.

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Author's Note:  The RACCies and their defending heroes are marooned by the
Hungry Past!

(signed) Scott, 19 June 2017.

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  ..... Re-presenting the end of the 2016 RACCies adventure .....

Our Heroes are January Frost, Mary Mystery, MaryBeth the Hit Girl, and Love
Princess Gorgoneion.  All others have been left behind by the pace of this good
old time RACCies cascade.  Our Heroes have been thrust toward another universe,
to seek an old threat.

But they get stuck, somewhere in a sea of fog.

 From out comes an old man with a hat, some long black hair, and a death face.
He says, "Oh, right.  You must be here for him."  The death face disappears.  He
leads on...

Mary Mystery recognizes the death face.  She follows.  Everyone else follows
behind.

Beyond the fog...  An older man with a shock of wild orange hair, is driving a
golf cart.  "Hooray, I can do this for myself when I'm on my meds!"

The former death face has taken on human form.  He speaks softly to Our Heroes.
"You can call me Wyatt.  On behalf of my universe, I apologize for a Trump
incursion last year.  That was *that* one."  He points at the man in the golf
cart.  "He came back crazy.  Or maybe sane.  Either way, he will be no further
trouble to you."

Mary and Wyatt nod.  Mary turns the others away.

January Frost asks first.  "What the hell was that?"

Mary Mystery responds.  "Oh, just my great-uncle or something, who's the Avatar
of Death now, and he's keeping track of President Trump."

"... You mean, he's *your* President?"

"Oh, Trump?  Yeah.  Is it that unusual?"

"I guess not..."

Then a howling came from behind.  Love Princess Gorgoneion was standing
straight, but backed by a howling void.  Howling!  It needed saying more than
once.

<-- to be continued -->

NEXT:  The Hungry Past!

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January Frost yelled, "Watch Out!  It's the Hungry Past!"

Mary Mystery yelled, "Watch Out!  It's Ultimate Darkness!"

MaryBeth the Hit Girl just yelled, "Watch out!"  Then she tackled Love Princess
Gorgoneion to the ground.

The room filled with darkness.

The next thing they knew, one little pinprick of light came from behind them.
They ran toward it.

The four women emerged in an arena, under a banner.

                        o  o  o  o  o  o  o
                 o  o  o   The 2017-2018   o  o  o
        o  o  o  o -->(24th & 25th  Biennial)<-- o  o  o  o
                 o  o  o  RACCie  AWARDS!  o  o  o
                        o  o  o  o  o  o  o

January Frost exclaimed.  "What??  It's been *two years??*"

Two people walked up.   One was dressed in androgynous street clothes including
LNH tshirt, the other in a yellow superhero cape and blue mask.  The one in the
street clothes said, "We volunteered to welcome you back.  I'm Writer's Block
Person, and this is the Powernaut.  The one from 1987, that is."  The one in the
costume waved hello.

MaryBeth looked curiously at the Powernaut.  "Why are you wearing that mask?
Are you an assassin, with those bright colors?"

He shrugged, and took the mask off.  "No, not an assassin.  And I guess here in
the future, I don't need the mask."  His face looked like Jeff Goldblum's, only
with more chin.

Mary Mystery snarked.  "You, I recognize.  Are you here for the comic relief?"

The Powernaut grinned down.  "For you, I am 'cause you need it."

January Frost looked at Writer's Block Person.  "And you represent the LNH?"

"Yeah.  I'm even from *your* LNH!"

"Okay.  You must be new, and you too, Mister Powernaut."  The Powernaut was
taken aback, as January Frost continued.  "I read the multiversal briefings.
The ones your Duck helps write, that is.  He posts those on every Internet he
comes to."  She turned to address both him and Writer's Block Person.
"Apparently we owe our freedom to new heroes, you two and others like you.
Thank you."

Love Princess Gorgoneion asked no one in particular, "What happened?"

Writer's Block Person responded, "To you?  You got swallowed by the Hungry Past
when the last RACCies were over.  You only got to come back when we resumed the
RACCies!"

"So what happened to those?"

"They've had a rough patch.  Whatever you did, whatever you found, you saved the
2016 ceremony from interference, but 2017 was a wash.  Still, the Writers kept
writing, and the rest of us kept adventuring, and we brought the RACCies back.
That opened a way for you to return...  Welcome back.

"Now let's go see the ceremony.  We saved you a table."

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

Writer's Block Person, the Powernaut, January Frost, Mary Mystery, Mary Beth,
and Love Protectress Gorgoneion found a table and sat back to watch the ceremony.
Pointless Awards Man Episode XVIII: Do You Admire Your Mother's Anarchist
Criminal Record Against the Doomsday Empire was hosting, and having finished
his intro speech already, he smoothly began presenting the awards...

...and before you knew it, he was done!

"Wait, what?" Love Protectress Gorgoneion jumped up! "I thought this was gonna
be a fun superhero party!"

"Yeah!" said Mary Mystery. "I was looking forward to smashing tables and
meeting people from different universes!"

"Indeed," said January Frost. "I don't mind the rest, but this feels extremely
anticlimactic."

MaryBeth didn't say anything, because oh god it's been so long since I read
anything she was in.

"Okay, well, see," said Writer's Block Person, holding up their hands, "the
thing is, there's some projects my brain's been stuck on for a long time. I've
gotten past some of them, but this is the biggest one left, and it's already
two years late, making up for something else that was a year late. So, once I
managed to get back on the writing horse, I decided I didn't want to delay it
any longer. ...and then I fell back *off* the writing horse and got back on
months later and was like, okay, fuck it, this needs to go out *now* so we as a
group can move forward."

The Powernaut clapped his hands over Mary Mystery's ears. "*Language*!"

Mary Mystery pulled away and stamped her foot. "I demand closure! I demand
satisfaction!"

"I get you wanna move on," said Love Protectress Gorgoneion, "but we need a
nice big reason to move on too!"

"Hmmmmm, a reason to move on... reason to..." Writer's Block Person snapped
their fingers. "The best one I've heard in a while - Donald Trump isn't
President anymore!"

"Oh!" Love Protectress Gorgoneion clapped! "That's great!"

"Whew!" said Mary Mystery. "All right, I'm in."

MaryBeth gave a thumbs-up!

"I still have questions," said January Frost.

"Too late!" said the Powernaut heroically, pointing out towards the brilliant
shining future. "Time for the afterparty!"

                  .....oooooOOOOO(*)OOOOOooooo.....

THE "SPIDER SPINS!" LITTLE LULU WEB PAGE AWARD:
    Ripping Off King Arthur < https://www.rippingoffkingarthur.com/ >

THE JOHNNY SOKKO "COME BACK, GIANT ROBOT, COME BACK" LOVING CUP:
    Saxon Brenton

THE RABBIT-BREEDER'S CUP:
    Scott Eiler

THE DOCTOR STOMPER BRONZE BOOT FOR EXCELLENCE IN EXPOSITION:
    Your Guide to the Pulse War v1.0

RACC21.  FAVORITE NEW TITLE:
    Daylighters

RACC20.  FAVORITE NEW WRITER:
    Held in trust for future writers!

RACC19.  MOST IMPROVED AUTHOR:
    Tom Russell

RACC18.  FAVORITE RUNNING GAG:
    Doctor Refuse2Amuse

RACC17.  BEST DISCUSSION:
    Theme Songs [May 2017]

RACC16.  FAVORITE PERSON WHO HANGS OUT ON RACC:
    TIE: Jeanne Morningstar and Tom Russell

RACC15.  FAVORITE STORY UNIVERSE:
    DiVerse

RACC14.  FAVORITE REVIEW TITLE:
    The Tribulations of Kid Review

RACC13.  FAVORITE DRAMA/ACRAPHOBE:
    Daylighters

RACC12.  FAVORITE ACTION/ADVENTURE:
    Daylighters

RACC11.  FAVORITE PARODY/COMEDY:
    Writer's Block Person

RACC10. FAVORITE TEAM/GROUP:
    The Daylighters

RACC9.  FAVORITE NEW CHARACTER:
    Maile Akaka

RACC8.  FAVORITE SUPPORTING CHARACTER:
    Psychovant the Duck

RACC7.  FAVORITE VILLAIN/ANTAGONIST:
    Marvel Zombie Lad

RACC6.  FAVORITE HERO/PROTAGONIST:
    Rosewood

RACC5.  FAVORITE SINGLE ISSUE:
    What You Love

RACC4.  FAVORITE ARC:
    The Pulse War

RACC3.  FAVORITE MINI-SERIES:
    Royals

RACC2.  FAVORITE ONGOING SERIES:
    Daylighters

RACC1.  FAVORITE WRITER:
    Felix (DeuceXM)

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Adventure Writer's Notes:

Drew is stepping back into the "Ceremony" role.  Which makes sense, 'cause
they're counting the votes.  They've asked me to provide a bit of adventure
this year, though.  Since we're cutting down the drama level for the RACCies,
I've kept it minimal.  I've merely conscripted the two characters who currently
best represent the two Writers who are working on these RACCies.  They thereby
represent all of RACC, which is still writing and still adventuring.

I'm rusty at writing a text adventure, but I think I'm getting it now.  The
dialogue seems to be the important part of this one.  And it's just as well I
don't get to see the vote count, because I might get snarky if we don't get a
decent turnout.

(signed) Scott

Election-Runner's Notes:

Haha oh lord. At this point, I figured it was best to just release the results,
but I didn't want to toss out Scott's handsome opening sequence, so cobbled
together a quick denoument.

I think I'll be up to put together a 2019-2020 election soon, but I'll
definitely let Scott do the ceremony for that one, if he wants. X3;

Drew "haha oof" Nilium