LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #141: Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig Part Seventeen

[Drew Nilium]

On 3/1/20 4:13 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
> LNH Comics Presents #63 is by Saxon Brenton.  It's Footnote Girls turn as head
> honcho.  Will she finally get all of the paperwork that's been flooding the
> Ultimate Ninja's desk under control and even more importantly will there be a scene
> in this issue where Kid Enthusiastic bounces up and down while loudly shouting
> the word 'Penis'?

Heeheeheehee :3 I think this is the best Kid E story written by someone else. X3 
(Tho I really like some of the stuff in LNH v2 #50, especially Rob's bits.)

> Acraphobe content warning: this story includes children making
> references to movie _ET: The Extraterrestrial_.

X3

>       "Fine," snapped Footnote Girl. "My powers are reactive rather than
> active in nature. Deductive Logic Man, have you thought of any more
> questions or leading statements to make in my presence that would get a
> useful footnote?"
>       "Well, no..."
>       "Then there's not much more I can do for the missing leaders by
> information gathering, so I'll take the leadership job."
>       Librarian Lady sighed. "Very well."
>       Footnote Girl looked at her. "Don't worry. Either we'll sort this
> out by this evening, or eventually we'll all end up in the same place
> for the big fight scene."

This is a good meta scene that I couldn't really clip much out of, but I really 
admire the character use of the meta-ness here. Footnote Girl has tenacity.

>       "Sure," said Cynical Lass. "Let me guess, you'd like me to babysit
> the sprog during her big day."
>       Librarian Lady raised an eyebrow. "Yes. What gave the game away?"
>       "I'm Cynical Lass," said Cynical Lass. "I can intuit these things.

Heeheehee

> There's just one thing I want to know. Why me?"
>       "You're English too, dear," said Librarian Lady simply. "You're
> less likely to be confused into submission by her than any of the
> Americans."

X3 I mean fair.

>       WikiBoy looked somewhat abashed. "Well... It's all well and good
> for children to be brave enough to try and fill an adult's job - but they
> don't really have the life experience to deal with really complicated
> problems. So I thought, if something starts to go badly wrong - even if
> we hope it doesn't," he added hastily for Librarian Lady's benefit,
> "then Cynical Lass can Edit my powers so that we can keep things from
> getting completely out of control."

Yessssss good. Love when WikiBoy volunteers.

>       "If Ultimate Ninja really has sabotaged the Legion's paperwork, then
> frankly I don't want to bother with it," said Footnote Girl. "Especially
> not when I have some homework assignments that I need to finish off today
> before I go on indefinite vacation.

What kind of schoolgirl are you who doesn't even skip out on homework when you 
have a good reason. u.u

>       "Well, by pretty amazing coincidence, your sister asked us to help
> you with your homework while she was working on the missing leader
> problem," WikiBoy said quickly, stretching the truth to close to
> breaking point.

heeheehee

>       "God may tell people that they have to go live their lives in peace,
> love and mung beans, but what He *wants* is violent fanatics whose first
> reaction is to fight," she explained. "It's a test, you see.

Mmmmm, can't say this is an especially good take on religious oppression.

>       "The movie _E.T._ was released over twenty years ago," added
> Footnote Girl. "We know how to say 'penis' and everything."
>       "Penis!" shouted Kid Enthusiastic, bouncing up and down. "Penis!
> Penis! PENIS!"

This on the other hand I love. X3 <3 <3 <3

> At first I wasn't
> too worried, because the leaders who were disappearing were all senior
> staff and big name characters. All first stringers. And then Limp-
> Asparagus Lad was called up. Now, okay, he isn't a first string
> character, but he's the foremost of the second stringers. And then
> You're-Not-Hitting-Me-Hard-Enough Lad was appointed leader, at which
> point I think to myself, 'Oh my God, they're going to go through the
> whole Legion'. Can you imagine how lame the joke would have gotten after
> we'd gone through literally everybody - Curly, Captain Napalm & Nomex
> Man, and a hundred zillion kiwis - and then started calling back retired
> members like X-Men Dangler Lass?"

Hmmmmm... nope I still love it <3 <3 <3

> She shrugged. "I give them maybe a month
> before they get bored with it. That's a nice round number. Then Retcon
> Lad's intentions will kick in, things will build to a dramatic climax,
> and then it'll all be over and done with."

 >:D

>       Back at Ultimate Ninja§s office, all was not going well. The home-
> work was all done, and Footnote Girl had carefully scribed a  Please
> excuse Petina from school on account of her being kidnapped by a
> mysterious force with a grudge against net.heroes§ note for Librarian
> Lady to sign later.

heeheehee

>       Now Footnote Girl and Kid Enthusiastic were working hard to convince
> WikiBoy that the way that Master Blaster treated him was shameful, and
> that the only sensible way to respond was the take punitive action
> against Master Blaster§s MacDaddy vibes. They were excited about the
> idea of giving WikiBoy an Edit so that the next time that Master Blaster
> abused his authority WikiBoy would go berserk with a lightsaber and use
> his uber kewl Jedi powers to slice off Master Blaster§s male bits.

I absolutely support this idea.

>       There was an explosion just down the street. "Liefeld's Porpoise!"
> Footnote Girl yelled. "They're etherbunnies! You can only catch them
> with ethernets! Don't bother using guns!"

heeheehee

> What had
> been one or two bunnies per square metre rose to a continuous carpet
> flowing from the physics building ? and it proved near impossible to
> penetrate into the building itself. Not because the etherbunnies were
> blocking the way: they were intangible and presented no physical
> impediment. Rather, their numbers were so thick as they poinged around
> in the building that anybody who tried to make their way through the
> flood was unable to see where they were going. The net.heroes couldn?t
> navigate to where they wanted to go and kept tripping over furniture
> upturned when the university staff and students had evacuated.

Oooooooh, makes sense. :D

>       "Okay then," said Footnote Girl. "Continue to clean up here. I?d
> better get back to Legion headquarters and see if W.I.L.B.U.R. has any
> more paperwork that needs signing. Come on guys," she said to the
> babysitters and Kid Enthusiastic.
>       Nobody paid any attention to the way the fluffy white cat followed
> them. Not yet, anyway.

DUN DUN DUNNNN...

>       Librarian Lady stood up. "My sister is under the domination of an
> evil, mind controlling cat!?" she demanded.
>       "Well, yes. But

heeheeheehee

>       WikiBoy said, "I?ve been using the cosmic class telepathic powers
> that I?ve been Editted into possessing to keep Tiddles from realising
> that the Legion leaders have been vanishing at midnight." He grinned
> viciously. "I even put the idea into his head to have Footnote Girl
> declare him co-leader, just to make sure."

 >:D

>       And that was how Tiddles, the mind controlling telepathic cat,
> became the only net.villain to fall victim to the Infinite Leadership
> Crisis.

:D

Drew "there were probably others mind you" Nilium