LNH: Looniverse Chronicles #8: "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?" (Tales of the Deep Omnilooniverse)
pwerdna at gmail.com
Fri Oct 30 23:00:16 PDT 2020
Looniverse-Valax. The trailing, tattered edge of the Deep Omnilooniverse.
Out of nowhere they came, ten years ago. The militaries of the world had been
taken over, their admirals and generals controlled by a cabal of the world's
most powerful net.villains, at their head the ruthless Doctor Killfille.
Those who rebelled against their leaders fought alongside every net.hero in the
world to stop the invaders. The battles were brutal and overwhelming, with many
of the most powerful heroes falling to overwhelming numbers and powerful
It ended with the detonation of all nuclear stockpiles, still in their silos,
cracking the crust of the Earth and killing millions upon millions. Nations
were left in ruins that day, and Doctor Killfile has ruled over those ruins.
But there have been more battles over this faded world. Over time, the Doctor's
forces have been beaten back. And now we, the last members of the LNH - Namer
Boy, Fairy Princess Lad, Crossplay King, Irony Mantis, and Fuzzy, our leader -
walk towards the cracked facade of the White House, to face him, and take him
But there is someone in our way. A ragtag band of normal people, shouting and
yelling, holding signs sketched on pieces of cardboard that say "LNH GO HOME!"
At their head is the man who faced down Doctor Killfile on that day; the man
who never fought again; Cheesecake-Eater Lad.
We stop in front of the crowd of people. "Cheesecake-Eater Lad," says Fuzzy.
"Have you switched sides, after all this time?"
"I am of no side but the side of these people, and keeping them alive. When we
fight him, he comes down on us five times harder; when *you* fight him, he
comes down on us *ten* times harder." The crowd shouts in desperate, fear-
backed anger. "So I ask you - stop fighting."
"Would the Cheesecake-Eater Lad of ten years ago have stopped fighting?" says
Fairy Princess Lad.
"The Cheesecake-Eater Lad of ten years ago should never have fought!" Tears are
running down his face now. "Fighting against evil only leads to evil coming
down harder - only leads to bad, stupid decisions that screw everyone over!"
"We saw it, Cheesecake-Eater Lad," says Crossplay King. "What you did."
"You saw-- no." His eyes go wide, and he takes a step back; murmurs float up
from the crowd. *No*."
"It took a long time to find the footage from Mt. Cheyenne, where Doctor
Killfile had made his base of operations," says Irony Mantis. "But I found it."
"You lead a strike force right down into its heart," says Namer Boy. "Your
people were picked off one by one. You were the only one who made it to Doctor
Killfile, and saw what he was about to do."
"No..." Cheesecake-Eater Lad falls to his knees. "Please don't. They trust me.
"You were faced with an awful, terrible decision," says Crossplay King. "A
decision no human should ever have to make."
"Doctor Killfile had wired the controls to the world's nuclear arsenal all to
this one spot," says Fuzzy. "Even tho his forces were so overwhelming, he was
so scared of losing that he was about to knock the board over - launch
everything, and kill everyone in the world." The crowd moved back, in awe, as
they heard the story told. "You were able to hold him off, stick him in place,
but his power was building, and he was about to overcome you and launch. You
knew you couldn't stop him - so you did it before he could. Detonated everything
"no... no... i'm sorry..." Cheesecake-Eater Lad lays on the ground, letting out
heaving sobs, slamming his fist into the cracked asphalt 'til it bleeds. "i
shouldn't... i should never have fought."
He feels a hand on his shoulder. He lets out one last great shaking sob, and
looks up. Fairy Princess Lad smiles at him. "Don't you understand? You saved
"no... i destroyed everything, you don't know..."
"As I said, it was an awful, terrible decision," says Crossplay King. "But it
was the right decision."
"Even tho this world is broken, stumbling, on its last legs..." says Fuzzy.
"Because you fought, it still lives."
"Because you fought," says Irony Mantis, "there are survivors across the world."
"Because you fought," says Namer Boy, "there's a tiny spark of hope left."
"I..." Cheesecake-Eater Lad sits there, on his knees, shaking in wonder, unable
to believe this forgiveness, this honor.
"Cheesecake-Eater Lad..." Fuzzy looks around at the crowd. "All of you...
Please, head back, okay? If you keep yourselves safe, then we know - we have
someone to fight for."
Members of the crowd, old women and young boys and people just holding
themselves together, come forward to help Cheesecake-Eater Lad to his feet.
Face wet, eyes red, Cheesecake-Eater Lad stands, and gives us a nod. "All right.
Thank you. I don't know if I believe you, but... if you want to do something
foolish and brave, we won't stop you." He turns to the crowd. "No matter what
happens tomorrow - tonight, we celebrate!"
They let out a cry, as one, ragged and hoarse but jubilant. They throw down
their signs and head back to their homes, to eat and make as merry as they can.
And we walk to that final battle, that tiny spark of hope burning in our
breasts, that bit of unstoppable faith that a better world might be possible.
Author's Note: No matter what happens in the next few days... keep fighting. I
believe in you.
Drew "happy Halloween I guess???" Nilium
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