LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #19: Martial Farts

Scott Eiler seiler at eilertech.com
Thu Oct 22 21:12:55 PDT 2020

What Has Gone Before:  A Cosmic Being (or something) has come to the LNH
HQ.  He wields the mighty power of... flatulence!  Standing in his way,
is the traveling brawler Imperilus!

> Energy flowed into them from the nearby statues, with a sense of
> grief and exultation. They prepared to strike, with the power of...
> Flatulence? That seemed to be the standard kind of power in this
> universe. "But if a fart be the power I must wield to conquer evil,
> than I will fart away!" said the Black Halo, turning around and
> ripping an enormous divine-powered fart that knocked Imperilus off
> his feet...

Imperilus picked himself up, and guffawed.  "Aw, man, now this is my 
kind of challenge!"

He faced himself away from Black Halo, bent over, and lowered his 
trousers to reveal a "full moon", as it were.  Then came a mighty 
ripping sound.

Black Halo gagged.  "What is that smell??  The human substance known as 

"You ain't the first to say that."


Mashup Laq was in their quarters, working on a project Doc Stomper had 
given them.  Then they got an alert on their Loonievision TV... 
"Intruders in the lobby!  One of them may be someone you know."

They resisted the urge to claw their eyes out, as they saw a set of 
mighty buttocks in their natural state.  But then the intruder stood up, 
raised his trousers, and faced the lobby camera.  "Wanna try that again? 
  Or maybe we can have a drinking challenge??"

Mashup Laq groaned.  "Imperilus??  What's *he* doing here??  I'd better 
go find out!"  [Author's Note:  Mashup Laq and Imperilus know each other 
from the 2014 RACCies.  Assuming Mashup Laq remembers.  But Imperilus 
probably does.]

Then the Ultimate Ninja (or is it Ultimate Nina?) broke onto his 
monitor.  "Not so fast!  You're still under quarantine!!"

"Oh, are you in charge now?  I keep forgetting..."

"You know we keep things informal here.  But don't tell Fearless Leader 
I said that...  Anyway, I'll patch you in to the lobby monitor."


The fearsome Black Halo recovered, and levitated even a bit more.  "You 
would dare taunt me with noxious fumes and useless challenges??  Then 
behold my mightiest attack yet!"  Black haloes formed around his hands.

Then a sound like an air horn came out of the lobby monitor TV.  When 
the sound let up, Mashup Laq appeared.  "Uh, maybe we all better talk."

(to be continued - by someone)

-- (signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> ------ http://www.eilertech.com/ -------

The soldiers presented a pathetic but inspiring spectacle. The
hospitals were crowded with sick and wounded; the walls were
gradually crumbling under incessant shell fire, yet that garrison
of heroes remained undaunted.

It was as Buck said, "just as if they had been Americans."

- from "The Airship Boys in the Great War", De Lysle F. Cass, 1915.
Coming soon to Project Gutenberg.  gutenberg.org

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