LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #112: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! The Conclusion

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Jul 14 14:46:33 PDT 2019

In this weeks reposting of stuff you can find in the eyrie archive
we have the final section of Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies!

Saxon Brenton returns with issue 22, which I guess means that Saxon
is still alive!  But for how long?

And Martin Phipps returns also with #23.  Will this thing ever

And then Martin writes the epilogue.  Okay.  Guess it has ended.

But find out how it ends in...

             | |      Classic			
             | |                      =
             | |      ____    ____    _    ____    ___
             | |__   | [] |  | [] |  | |  | [] |  | _ \  

             |____|   \__]    \__ |  |_|   \__/   |_|\_\
                                |_|  OF NET.HEROES

                                    ADVENTURES #112

              Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! The Conclusion

From: saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au (Saxon Brenton)
Subject: [RACCies/LNH] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies #22
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Date: 6 Mar 2005 00:09:06 -0000

Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies #22

[Note: Even more outside of continuity than normal. No following up 
with any of these characters or events unless they're already part of
the plot.]
     "AAAaaa!!!" a very large number of people preparing for the
RACCie Awards ceremony cried.
     "Where's my lip gloss!?" 
     "Look! My dress costume hasn't been properly fry cleaned!"
     "What are you complaining about, Cauliflower? You don't wear a
tuxedo. You're a dog!"
      "Woof!" came the retort.
     "It's no good!" they heard Dismal-Hope Kid wail as he passed by
in the corridor outside. "We'll never be ready in time!"
     "AAAaaa!!!" panicked the LNHers, goaded to greater heights of
hysteria by his comments.
     The door to the LNH imprint dressing rooms opens, and a frazzled 
looking Myrmidon sticks his head in. "Is this the Crucible City 
dressing rooms?"
     "No. This is the LNH. Crucible City is down the hall that way."
     "Right. Thanks." Myrmidon leaves.
     "Is there an upper limit to how many people can be at your 
table if they're all Evil Twins of you?"
     Should I sit at the same table as my arch-nemesis so that I can 
keep an eye on him, or is that likely to provoke a fight scene?
     "Argh! Look at this!" demanded the Chuggernaut. "This thing 
still has ash on it from when I trashed the RACCCafe!"
     "NO CONTINUITY!!!" everybody else screamed at him.
     "Oh. Right. Sorry."
     The door opens, and a frazzled looking Shadestalker sticks his 
head in. "Is this the Artifice Comics dressing room?"
     "No. This is the LNH. Artifice Comics is up the hall that way."
     "Right. Thanks." Shadestalker leaves.
     "What do you mean 'There haven't been any journalists in the
stories this year'?" demands Pointless Awards Man II, who at this
point in preparations is taking advantage of the opportunity to get
out of that damn too-small-for-him tuxedo to wear a well-worn pair of
blue jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt. "There were several journalists!
There was that Adam Spencer from Transit City, and Ian Thorpe from The
Spyder... 'They're all print journalists?' Crud. Okay, uh, look, how
about the EuroNewsNet anchorwoman from ASH? Karol, right, try and line
her up, or I'll have to sing again. No, I *don't* know where Pointless
Awards Man I is; the lazy Writers haven't gotten around to resolving
that plot point yet."
     The door opens and a frazzled looking Skysabre sticks his head 
in. "Is this the Superguy dressing rooms?"
     "No, this is the LNH."
     Skyabre gives this a second's thought, then says, "Close 
enough," comes in and starts ironing some clothes.
End Interlude
Saxon Brenton     Uni of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au

From: phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Subject: [LNH][RACCies] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #23
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Date: 9 Mar 2005 10:33:50 -0000

Master Blaster spoke to Deja Dude after the awards ceremony.

"Hey!" he said.  "Congratulations at having won the rabbit breeders cup
two years in a row!  What are you going to do to celebrate?"

Deja Dude shrugged his shoulders.  "Oh, I don't know.  Maybe post
something."  Deja Dude looked at Master Blaster suspiciously.  "Aren't
you worried about your wife?"

"How so?" asked quizzically.

"I mean she was replaced by a robot duplicate whom we then had to
destroy.  Aren't you wondering what happened to the real Sister

Master Blaster suddenly became somber.  "Oh, yeah.  I'm very

"You didn't look concerned a moment ago."

"Oh... well... it's part of my character, isn't it?  The macho
exterior.  But, inside, I'm torn apart."

"Anybody would think you were callously happy with your new found

"Oh no!  Not me!  I loved my wife!  I really miss her!  Unless...
unless you think it would be more in character for me not to."

"You're not Master Blaster, are you?"

"Master Blaster" pointed his BIG gun at Deja Dude.

"I'll take this as confirmation of my suspicions."

"We wanted to destroy you and that imposter Manga Man weeks ago!" the
robot duplicate Master Blaster admitted, "but then Ultimate Ninja and
the others came back from that court case.  Manga Man got cold feet and
called off the attack, ordering us to cut our losses and go back
pretending we were the real Master Blaster,
Innovative Offense Boy, Namer Boy, Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad,
Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. and Cheesecake Eater Lad."

"You realize you just gave away your master's entire evil plan, don't

"It's no matter!" the robot duplicate Master Blaster said.  "You're
going to die anyway."

"But you have all the memories of Master Blaster!"


"So we're friends!  You don't want to kill me!"

"Desire is irrelevant!  I... am a machine!"

Just then, the head of the evil robot duplicate Master Blaster was cut
off by a Ginsu katana blade.  The head fell to the floor and rolled
away.  As it did, the head got a good look at the net.hero who had
struck it from behind.

"Et tu, Ninja?" it said.

"Thanks, UN," Deja Dude said.

"No problem."  Ultimate Ninja grimaced under his mask.  "I guess this
confirms Adamant Authority-on-Everything's theory."

"Indeed!" Adamant Authority-on-Everything said.  "You will recall how
on the day after Christmas, three teams were sent out to different
fanfic newsgroups: Catalyst Lass, Innovative Offense Boy, Namer Boy,
Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr. were sent to
alt.tv.x-files.creative, Doctor Stomper, Ordinary Lady, Lurking Girl,
Sing-Along Lass and Bandwagon Chick were sent to alt.startrek.creative
and Master Blaster, Cheesecake Eater Lad,  Sister State-the-Obvious,
aLLiterative Lass and New Look Lass were sent to rec.arts.erotica."

"Oh oh oh!" Kid Enthusiastic said.  "Can we segue to a flashback?!"

"No," Adamant Authority-on-Everything said flatly.  "Anyway, we assumed
when they returned that nothing had happened, but it would appear now
that they were all replaced with evil robot duplicates!"

Ultimate Ninja nodded.  "But now we know who the robot duplicates are!
Of course, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr.'s powers being what they are, they
also probably know that we know, but since we are smart enough to know
that they know that we know, we still have the advantage!"

Deja Dude nodded.  "This is how you got the reputation for being such a
great strategist, hmm?"


"Exactly."  Deja Dude mused for a while.  "Anyway, it's been three
weeks and nobody resolved any of the plotlines from #21.  What happened
with the court case?"

"The court case?  Oh, we won.  We got 50 million dollars in damages!
Irony Man was estatic!  Do you know he was thinking of putting the LNH
up to be sold to the highest bidding software company?!  Could you
imagine the LNH being sold to a software company?"

"Actually, yes," Deja Dude said.  "Anyway, we had better go find
Bluetooth and Firewire, seeing as how they were integral to the

"I'm already here!"

"Me too!" Firewire said.

"Alright," Deja Dude said.  "Well then I guess it's up to the six of us
to find the seven of them (the remaining six robot duplicates
-including that of Doctor Stomper- and the real Manga Man) and have the
final Climactic Fight Scene(tm)."

"Is that all that's left?" Ultimate Ninja asked.

Deja Dude reflected for a moment.  "Well, let's see... the RACCies are
over and all the LNH stories are still on google and eyrie.org, so I
guess the virus didn't go into effect.  I mean, I ended up getting
viruses on my computer but I figure that was due to my downloading too
much free porn and not due to anything in this storyline.  And the
Grapety Purple Man and Shoe Devil storylines never went anywhere, right

"Um... nope."

"Not as far as I know," Firewire said, nervously.

"Alright then!" Ultimate Ninja said.  "Let's go find these robot
duplicates so we can get this story wrapped up!"

WILL Bluetooth and Firewire ever betray their teammates?

WILL this storyline end in a big Climactic Fight Scene(tm)?

WHATEVER happened to the real Sister State-the-Obvious, aLLiterative
Lass, Bandwagon Chick, Catalyst Lass, Ordinary Lady, Lurking Girl,
Sing-Along Lass, New Look Lass, Innovative Offense Boy, Namer Boy,
Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad, Ubiquitous Boy Lad Jr., Doctor Stomper,
Cheesecake Eater Lad and Master Blaster?  Or to Grapety Purple Man and
the Shoe Devil for that matter?

DID anything else happen in the three weeks that passed between

WILL anybody bother to write the next chapter of Just
Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies?!


From: phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Subject: [LNH] [RACCIES] Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCIES: Epilogue
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Date: 29 Mar 2005 00:53:06 -0000

[No, you didn't miss an issue: I just wanted to skip to the end. :)]

"Wow!" Deja Dude said.  "We did it!  We defeated Manga Man Gold and his
evil robot duplicates!"

"No thanks to Bluetooth and Firewire!" Ultimate Ninja complained.  "How
could they betray us like that?  Didn't they realize that the Grapety
Purple Man and the Shoe Devil were working with Manga Man Gold all
along?  The first rule in dealing with net.villains is to treat
everything they say as a lie!  Rookies!"

"Yeah, well, these traitor plots are an inherent part of superhero
drama now.  We have to get used to that."

"At least Manga Man White came through for us!" Ultimate Ninja
observed.  "Too bad about what happened to him in the end though."

"Yeah," Deja Dude nodded sadly.  "Of course, the next time we meet
Manga Man Gold we can just call him 'Manga Man', seeing as how he was
the original and now the only one."

"You're forgetting Manga Man Black."

"Right!  But at least he's not a threat anymore after what happened to


Meanwhile, back at LNH HQ...

"I never would have thought we would have been saved by a Manga Man
clone!" Cheesecake Eater Lad mused.

"Indeed," aLLiterative Lass agreed, "I would not have Imagined It."

"It's too bad what happened to him in the end though!"

aLLiterative Lass nodded sadly.

"Such a noble sacrafice!" Adamant Authority on Everything proclaimed.

"Thanks to him, our daughter has her real parents back again!"

"Because the roBot was a Bad Brestfeeder for our Baby!"

"Wait a minute!" Kid Enthusiastic complained.  "Presumably you were
rescued in _Miss Translation_ before you were kidnapped again late last
year, but when did that give you time to have a baby?"

Adamant Authority on Everything sighed.  "_Flame Wars IV_ happened two
years ago.  More than that in fact: it started in the summer of 2002.
There's been plenty of time for Cheesecake Eater Lad and aLLiterative
Lass to procreate in the meantime!"

"But... but... he was only just rescued a few months ago!  And _Limp
Asperagus Lad_ hasn't even dealt with Flame Wars IV yet!  I'm so

"It is the nature of continuity in a shared universe!" Adamant
Authority on Everything insisted.  "You don't complain that Captain
America can appear in three different series at the same time, do you?"

"But... that means _Limp Asperagus Lad_ is THREE YEARS behind in

"Yeah, but Saxon's using a sliding time scale anyway so, to him, he's
actually only a few weeks behind."


"The important thing is that, with all the relevent plot elements from
this add-on cascade having been resolved, everybody can get back to
doing their own thing and maybe -maybe- continuity can sort itself

"You mean like my writer might actually go back and finish the _Digital
Jump_ storyline?"

"Exactly!" Adamant Authority-on-Everything said.

"But he's the one who started this cascade!  It's not like he hasn't
had time."

"We'll just have to wait and see."

WILL Andrew Perron go back to writing _Digital Jump_?

WILL _Limp Asperagus Lad_ ever catch up to current continuity?

You'll have to keep reading RACC to find out! :)


Next Week: Hmm...

Arthur "Same Classic Channel.  But Same Time?  Probably not." Spitzer

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