LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #65: Birth Of A Villain Part Five
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Jun 10 14:50:44 PDT 2018
In this weeks reposting of stuff you can find in the eyrie archive
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/
we have the fifth section of a Birth Of A Villain.
Returning to the Birth of a Villain cascade with #12 is Ted Brock who
has the various BoaV regulars back in the LNHQ to see the carnage
Vector has wrought. Are those Oozelfinches dead or only sleeping?
And joining for 12.25 is newcomer Carl Burke who after doing a search
in google groups was either not very active on RACC or some sinister
force has deleted all his posts. But which ever of those -- he's
here to send everyone to Alice Springs to find the.. (Guess you'll
have to read it to find out!)
And Jessica "Jaelle" Ihimaera-Smiler returns to pen 12.5 (because
no one seems to want to write #13) where we see if democracy will
be the method that will decide where our heroes go -- and if
squirrels have the right to vote! And will we find out where those
blue socks are?
And finally Ken Schmidt joins the fun (you'll remember from issue
#1 of this series that he is the mind that brought us the Three
Day Lull). He brings Tsar Chasm into the cascade and also dares
to actually write #13 instead of like #12.75 or #12.99 and we applaud
him for that.
And now..
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #65
=====================
Birth Of A Villain Part Five
=====================
Birth Of A Villain #12
From: tabrock at ptd.net.no.spam (Ted Brock)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: Re: LNH: Birth of a Villain - the saga continues (sorta)
Date: 4 Apr 1999 03:02:16 GMT
Organization: PenTeleData http://www.ptd.net
The LNH Van pulled into the parking lot of the LNHQ, barely missing
running over a well-armed hovercycle and Catalyst Lass's Corvette Stingray,
and placing a nice-sized dent in the Easily-Discovered Van,
"Not that scrapping that eyesore would be a bad thing," Lite muttered
to the Writer.
Hrrm... you're right about that, but let's keep you guys focussed on
the job at hand, okay?
"Nice parking job, mum," Mouse chided Writer's Block Woman. "Parking
Karma Kid, you ain't."
As the team entered the lobby, they gazed in various emotional states
at the carnage around them. LNHers, Kiwis, and Oozelfinches laid on the
floor, in chairs, draped across sofas, and even one Kiwi asleep in the
fountain.
Slinging her rifle over her shoulder by it's strap, Twaeila checked
on
the nearest person, who just happened to be Ultimate Ninja.
"He's alive," she told them after a quick examination. "He's just
asleep. Must be Vector's so-called 'Legionaires Disease'."
"So if she's already been here," Lite asked, "where did she go."
"I think the computer room will help," Mouse mentioned. "We'll
probably have to pull Multi-Tasking Man's face off the keyboard first, tho.
With that impact, the computers will be calculating the square root of pi to
it's last digit."
"So let's go."
As they entered the computer room, they noticed that there was indeed
someone not asleep in there.
"Insomnia Lad?" Mouse asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Couldn't sleep, no matter how hard that tall redhead tried. I
finally had to fake sleep in order to get her to leave. I thought I'd spend
some time running through some Duke simulations."
"Well, step aside, Lad," WBW told him. "We need to track that woman
of bad fashion sense." She paused for a minute. "Does anyone here know these
systems?"
"Allow me," Twaeila muttered, taking a seat in front of the main
terminal. A few quick keystrokes later, and she was in.
"How is it you can operate these systems as pretty as you please?"
Lite asked her, as she began a search through the internet. "Not even
Multi-Tasking Man can do that much with these systems."
"Simple," she replied with a smile. "I'm user-friendly with the
technology it's derived from."
"I'm not going to touch that one. Just where *are* you from,
anyways? I'm not sure I've seen you on any of the other writing newsgroups."
As she typed, Twaeila relayed her story to Lite.
"I'm from an alternate future presented in
alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die," she stated. "Most people don't consider
that group a writing group, although it is where my Writer got his start.
Same with Jaelle, I think. Seems my Dad's counterpart on that group knows,
or
at least met, Jaelle's counterpart there. Anyways, as part of Dad's origin
story, he had spent some time in an alternate future where the HellWyrm ruled
supreme. That's where I come from. Face it, if the society I'm from
achieved
the level depicted in Orwell's _1984_, it would be a victory."
"Damn."
"You said it. Anyways, my Writer sent me hurling back in time to the
past... well, recent past for you, to meet my Dad. Something about
retirement from the group, I think. After that... I think I have something."
"Finally," Mouse muttered. "Where?"
"She's heading for... this can't be right... Sig.ago? Isn't that
supposed to be 'Chicago'?"
"This is a net.reality, kid," WBW told her. "Names can change."
"So I see. Anyways, I've also tracked where she originated.
Rec.mon.d, Washing.net? The computer lists that as the world headquarters of
Micro$lave Corporation."
"Micro$lave, hrrm?" Mouse pondered. "The primary rivals of Dad's
Conspiracy Corporation."
"Okay, we can either move to intercept her in Sig.ago," Lite told the
assembled heroes, "or we can cut her off at the pass, and head down to
Micro$lave HQ."
"Fine. Anyone have a coin?" Mouse asked.
WILL THE HEROES HEAD TO SIG.AGO OR REC.MON.D?
WILL THIS BRING IN DVANDOM FORCE?
AND WHAT'S HAPPENING AT PLANET KIRBY?
All to answered next time, coming who knows when.
--
Ted Brock
Birth Of A Villain #12.25
From: Carl Burke <cburke at mitre.org>
Subject: Re: LNH: Birth of a Villain - the saga continues (sorta)
Date: 10 Apr 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Organization: The secret insipid message in your lap!
> "Fine. Anyone have a coin?" Mouse asked.
"Forget the coin. You're going to Alice Springs," came a voice
from the doorway. Almost as one, or as one group anyway, the heroes
spun around to face the source of the voice.
"Punctuality Lad!" gasped Writer's Block Woman.
"Of course. I've got better things to do with my time than wait
around for some villainous vixen to strike, unlike the rest of these
slackers and layabouts." Punctuality Lad flipped open his pocket watch
and inspected it closely. "You're going to Alice Springs because it is
the last known location of the Lotion of Emotion. You need the Lotion
because it counteracts the Potion."
"Counteracts the Potion... ?"
"The Potion of Commotion."
"I don't believe this," muttered Mouse.
PL closed his watch with a snap. "Look, I only have time to
say this once: the potion of commotion turned the vixen to the virus,
the lotion of emotion is the cure that is sure. You don't believe me,
ask Adamant. When he wakes up." PL turned on his heel and strode away
at a world-record pace, muttering under his breath.
The heroes stood in silence for a moment, trying to absorb the
enormity of what they had just heard. Finally, Mouse sighed.
"Okay! So... where's that coin?"
WHERE WILL THE HEROES GO?
WILL THIS CHEAP DANNY KAYE JOKE BE RETCONNED, OR WILL IT BE
MILKED FOR ALL IT'S WORTH?
AND WHAT ABOUT GORILLA GRAD?
--
Carl Burke
All due apologies to... well, to all of you.
Birth Of A Villain #12.5
From: Jessica <jaelle at ihug.co.nz>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: LNH: Birth of A Villain Part 12
Date: 7 Apr 1999 11:34:33 GMT
Ted Brock wrote:
As she typed, Twaeila relayed her story to Lite.
"I'm from an alternate future presented in
alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die," she stated. "Most people don't
consider that group a writing group, although it is where my Writer
got his start. Same with Jaelle, I think. Seems my Dad's
counterpart on that group knows, or at least met, Jaelle's
counterpart there. Anyways, as part of Dad's origin story, he
had spent some time in an alternate future where the HellWyrm ruled
supreme. That's where I come from. Face it, if the society I'm
from achieved the level depicted in Orwell's _1984_, it would be a
victory."
***
Great good gads... someone remembers my old days in the
B'harnee jihad. That takes me back. Not quite the beginning,
but definitely a significant step. Ah the many fond memories,
the explosions, the carnage, the screaming...
"And this is different from the current status quo _how_
exactly?" Mouse interrupted her writer's musings. "Are you
planning to continue this storyline anytime soon?"
Grrrr... As I recall, when I was younger I was a lot easier
to deal with.
"As _I_ recall, you wound up getting..."
SHUT UP!
***
"Wonderful, when faced with the question of whether to go
to Sig.ago, Melissa's destination, or Micro$lave in
Washing.net, half the heroes want to go to one, the other
half to the other." Mouse grumbled. "Like this story
_needed_ any more splits."
"Go easy," said Lite. "We haven't even begun to approach
the level of chaos that has been seen in some other
cascades - just look at the Omaha Project."
Mouse harumphed and looked around at the assembled...
group. Twaeila (Mouse wondered if she could shorten the
girls name to something more spellable without being
shot - probably not) stroked her gun and glared at the
Coward Lad, who edged away from her nervously. Possessed
or not _some_ survival instincts still lurked in that
body. Chinese Guy with the Squirrel sat quietly in the
corner, whilst Lite and Insomnia Lad leaned against the
door.
Mouse looked at the assembled pile of votes. In the
absence of anyone having a coin (most of these spandex
costumes don't have pockets you know) they had had to
resort to democracy to make a decision. This naturally
left them exactly where they were. Mouse closed her eyes.
"How can we have eight votes when there are only seven
of us?" she demanded.
The squirrel raised a paw.
"Oh right, silly me." she took a deep breath. "Alright,
hands up anyone who thinks we should split up into two
groups to fight Melissa."
Everyone looked around. Finally Twaeila raised a hand,
"I'll go with you, if WBW and Lite also want to come."
"No fair taking all the comic relief!" said Chinese
Guy with Squirrel.
An argument immediately broke out.
"SHUT UP!" yelled Mouse. "Alright, everyone that wants
to go to Sig.ago raise your hand!"
Coward Lad, the Squirrel, Writers Block Woman and Lite
raised their hands.
"Everyone that wants to go to Washing.net raise your
hands." Mouse put up her own hand and watched as Twaeila,
the Chinese guy and Insomnia Lad raised their hands.
"Mouse," reproached WBW. "How could you vote against me?"
"It was a conscience vote mum."
"Oh, well that's okay then."
"Fine," Mouse said, counting hands. "My side wins, we
go to Washing.net."
"On what grounds?" demanded Lite.
"Yeah, you ain't cutting my vote out just cos I'm a squirrel
are you?" the squirrel asked in a suspicious tone.
"On the grounds that my side has more available firepower
than your side." Mouse replied. Twaeila grinned.
"That... seems like a logical conclusion." said Insomnia Lad.
Mouse smiled, "I'm so glad you agree."
***
Meanwhile, Gorilla Grad watched as the Church of the Fourth
Wall examined the data before them.
"Indeed, one of these heroes is definitely from another
universe." Father Brown said. "This makes things more
difficult."
"More difficult than the plot already is?" the acolyte asked.
Father Brown glared at him. "You weren't just breaking the
Fourth Wall were you, my son?"
"N-no Father. I was merely referring to _our_ plot to destroy
the LNH and wreak revenge for their constant meddling with
forces which they wot not of." The acolyte sweated heavily
beneath his robes. This was not the time for his alliance
to fall apart. Not now, when their way led to victory. He
regained control of himself and smiled. "Chaos may be my
preferred setting, but I'd like it to bend to _my_ will."
Brown nodded. He turned back to the screens. "According
to this readout the hero in question isn't even from a
comic-based reality. This could make things much more
difficult! And I can't quite get a fix on the Chinese male
and rodent. At first I thought they were from another
universe, but now..." He sucked at his lip. "If I didn't
know better I'd say they were trying to hide something...
Hmmmm...."
Gorilla Grad calculated the odds of at least one of the
duo secretly being a plot device and came up with pretty
good numbers. He sighed and wished that he had a cellphone
so that he could call his bookie. Once again he poked at
the fabric of his cell, and his eyes widened as it gave
a little. This required thought.
"How are the other versions of Melissa doing with the
heroes at Planet Kirby?" Father Brown asked.
"Well Father," replied the acolyte. "See for yourself." he
fiddled with the viewer.
Planet Kirby's interior came into view. Inside Authorial
and Lad struggled in the grips of the Melissas. There was
a brief moment of tension when Narcoleptic Lad momentarily
revived, but he was swiftly overcome once more.
The acolyte and Father Brown moved away from the screens
(and Gorilla Grad) and leaned in close to each other to
discuss something quietly. Gorilla Grad tried to listen
in, but was unable to make anything out. He did, however,
hear one of the Vector's say, "There is another here. A
Lurker. Find her. Destroy her." Neither of the other two
did though, and Gorilla Grad's impressive forehead
wrinkled further as he considered the implications of
this statement, then he smiled.
***
And now back to the characters I actually know something
about :-)
"Everybody ready?" asked Mouse.
"Yes."
"Everyone got their seatbelts on?"
"Yes."
"Everyone remember to visit the..."
"YES!"
"Alright," Mouse turned to WBW, who was driving. "You can
go now. Can't believe you _all_ voted against my driving
sheesh not like it's as bad as Pity's grumblemumblegrrr...
To Washing.net!"
The flight thingee lifted off. And then settled down again
with a thump.
"New question - did anyone refuel the flight thingee?"
"No."
"Alright, let's start this again."
***
WILL THEY FIND WHAT THEY NEED TO DEFEAT MELISSA IN
WASHING.NET?
WILL THEY LET MOUSE DRIVE?
WHAT ARE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN
FATHER BROWN AND THE ACOLYTE?
WHERE ARE MY BLUE SOCKS?
Find out (maybe) in the next part of Birth of a Villain!
Birth Of A Villain #13
From: tsar at eyrie.org (Ken Schmidt)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [LNH] Birth of a Villain, part 13
Date: 13 Apr 1999 07:17:19 GMT
Organization: The Eyrie
The acolyte looked around when no one responded, "Other universes. Hello
everyone. I think we should discuss this other universe business."
Looking around revealed that everyone else in the room was frozen in
place,
and no expressions he saw registered shock. On one face he didn't
recognize, he saw a very unhappy expression half hidden behind a killer pair
of shades. The man wearing both the expression and the sunglasses took a
few steps forward, holding out a piece of paper, folded in half.
"I don't want to be here," he said, "but what you're doing is starting to
cross into some dangerous waters. My warning to you is on this note. Now
I'm leaving, and I had better not have to come back here."
The acolyte took the piece of paper, and glanced at it, then turned his
attention back to the stranger. Of course the unknown man had vanished, and
time started to flow once again. He unfolded the piece of paper and shook
his head. It was filled with crossed out words like someone was unable to
put their thoughts together. At the very end a scribbled note said
'Had a great time. Maybe we could share another meal again soon. TC'
The acolyte crumpled up the note and tossed it carelessly over his
shoulder.
***** ***** ***** *****
Tsar Chasm growled as he passed through the space between newsgroups.
"You bet I'm growling. I was busy and you pull me out for this!"
Busy my foot. You just keep stalling because you can't decide exactly
how to
approach Mouse.
"First off, I have no idea what you're talking about. Secondly, the proper
opportunity hasn't presented itself. Now, if you'll pardon me, I have a
chaotic add-on story to avoid now that I have done my part."
***** ***** ***** *****
Somewhere in the midst of the previously mentioned chaotic add-on story,
Mouse found a piece of paper tucked into her shoe. After spending a moment
trying to figure out how it got there, she remembered exactly where she was
and mentally kicked herself for looking for consistency. She pulled out the
piece of paper and looked it over. She frowned at it, and read it again.
Aloud she said, "Hey, anyone here know what 'Nodakommandos' means?"
WILL KEN'S EGO BE MASSAGED WHEN AND IF SOMEONE KNOWS WHAT THE NOTE MOUSE HAS
MEANS?
IS THIS REALLY PART 13? OR WAS EVERYONE AVOIDING THAT CHAPTER NUMBER?
WILL KEN THINK OF ANOTHER QUESTION?
Aw, crap...WAIT!
WILL THE ACOLYTE AND MOUSE TRADE NOTES SO THEY EACH HAVE THE RIGHT ONE?
I can't wait to find that one out!
---Ken
-----
Saxon Brenton City library of the Uni of Technology, Sydney, Australia
Saxon.Brenton at uts.edu.au
==========
Next Week: It's Birth of a Villain Time!!! (Part Six)!!!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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