LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #64: Birth Of A Villain Part Four
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Jun 3 14:08:19 PDT 2018
In this weeks reposting of stuff you can find in the eyrie archive
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/
we have the fourth section of a Birth Of A Villain.
Joining the Birth of a Villain cascade with #10 is Ben in Plaid who I'm
going to assume is Ben Rawluk (but feel free to correct me if I'm
completely wrong about that). Ben wrote the series Teens in Trenchcoats
and here he introduces another trenchcoater into the mix -- the NTB'r
known as -- DEADHEADMAN!
Tom Russell returns with #11 and has the poetry spouting -- MYSTERIOUS
CHAIRMAN -- who I have to assume is both mysterious and really into
chairs.
And finally Saxon Brenton dips right into the cascade with #11.5 probably
because of deeply superstitious reasons he'll let others suffer the
consequences of writing #12. (Australians fear the number 12 or so I've
heard. I could be completely wrong about. If so -- please correct me
because if no one corrects me I'll just have to assume that I'm completely
right about that. Ah, whatever happened to Saxon.) Oh, and in his
continuity note he claims that he was trying to write #10 and that someone
else beat him to writing #12. Likely story. But -- enough of that. :)
And now..
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #64
=====================
Birth Of A Villain Part Four
=====================
Date: 9 Jan 2000 23:54:49 -0000
From: Saxon Brenton <Saxon.Brenton at uts.edu.au>
Subject: [LNH] TEB: Birth Of A Villain #1-13 [2 of 2]
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative,alt.comics.lnh
Birth Of A Villain #10
From: Ben in Plaid <plaid2k at my-dejanews.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: Re: LNH: Re: LNH: Birth of a Villain - the saga continues (sorta)
Date: 3 Apr 1999 19:48:11 GMT
Organization: Deja News - The Leader in Internet Discussion
"This is the part that's certain death," said Coward Lad, "Right?"
Mouse stared at the figure from her position in the van's backseat,
suppressing her urges with regard to his life. "Mum swerved, idiot. We're
not going to die. Everything's alright. It's not like it's *her* again."
"Let's shoot it," said Twaeila, poking the windshield with her energy
rifle. "It's a trick, duh. One of Vector's tricks."
Writer's Block Woman shook her head. "Mouse, dear. Do you recognise
whoever that is out there?" She turned toward Mouse, twisting around in
the driver's seat to look at her daughter. "Kind of blurry."
Mouse squinted, Lite craning his head beside her.
"This is getting surreal," said Lite, "It looks like...a tie-dyed
trenchcoater?"
"Dead," said Mouse, "He looks dead. And transparent."
"Gah! A ghost!"
"Someone murder Coward Lad," mumbled Mouse, "Before I do."
"Let's just shoot it, and get going," said Twaeila. "And whoever's doing
the Jerry Garcia impression....shove it!"
"I think," said Writer's Block Woman, "He's doing it. Such WONderful
taste in music, yes? Yes?"
"She's kidding," said Twaeila. "Gotta be."
"Maybe we should go investigate?" Lite fiddled with his seat belt. "I'm
not sure I'm comfortable cramped up in a van with someone wielding
an energy rifle, who seems agitated by Jerr Garcia. Wound a bit tight,
Twaeila?"
"Grr," said Twaeila.
"Guys!" Mouse folded her arms. "Don't you all think that some ghostly
guy in the middle of the road might be...oh...a clue?"
"Clue!" Writer's Block Woman brightened. "Oh! This is good! Clues are
good! Obviously, he's been left behind as a sign of Vector's growing
powers..."
"No," said a hollow voice from the front of the van. "Sometimes a ghost
is just a ghost." The phantom figure was poking his head through the
windshield. "Now. You can see me? I'm not invisible to you all?"
"GHOST!"
"Shut up, Coward Lad," said Mouse. "Right. And you would be...?"
"DeadHeadMan," said the ghost. "Look, I'm sorry if I startled you..."
"In this line of business?" Lite leaned forward. "Look, you wouldn't
happen to be a minion of this replicating woman with nifty Viral Powers?"
"Not the last time I checked," said DeadHeadMan. "I think."
"A guh...guh...ghost!" Coward Lad was white as a sheet. "Man," said
Twaeila, "Can I just shoot him already?"
"Don't tempt me," said Mouse. "Can someone please shut Coward Lad
up...? Anyone? Duct tape, maybe?"
"I can," said DeadHeadMan, "I could slip inside and possess his jaw,
keep it clenched. Might give you some quiet while you explain what's
happened?"
"You can...get in. Peace and quiet, at last..." Mouse smiled ever so
darkly. "Right then. Let's go shoot some bad guys!"
WILL MOUSE SHOOT SOME BAD GUYS?
WILL COWARD LAD BE SILENT?
WILL TWAEILA FINALLY GET TO SHOT HER ENERGY RIFLE AT SOMETHING?
Keep watching the Birth of a Villain!
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
Birth Of A Villain #11
From: tiffer003 at aol.com (TIFFER003)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: Re: LNH: Re: LNH: Birth of a Villain - the saga continues (sorta)
Date: 3 Apr 1999 20:59:56 GMT
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Birth Of A Villain -- Chapter 11, I think
They all sat down, quietly thinking.
They all sat down, their egos sinking.
All at a table, all in despair
All at a table, all in a chair.
"This is highly upsetting," said The Mysterious Chairman.
"What, the bad poetry or the thread?"
"Both," the Mysterious Chairman answered his Henchman. "You see,
gentlemen, this Vector . . . Melissa, I believe is her first name . . .
has become a near-all- powerful force of evil. She is engaging the Legion
of Net. Heroes as we speak, wreaking havoc and being generally menacing."
"So?" asked his Henchman.
"So . . . she's putting us out of the job!" said The Mysterious Chairman
upsetedly.
"I never thought of that," the Henchman said.
"That's right," said The Mysterious Chairman. "Now, quickly . . . let
us prepare!"
"For what?"
"We, the Villains, must destroy this Vector as quickly as possible.
We must find the perfect weapon to fight her."
"And who would that be?" asked the Henchman.
"The only man who would risk his life, the man smart enough to follow
convient clues left by us, taking him down harlem."
"Out with it all ready!"
Who's the man that would risk his life for his brother man?
TAFT!
He's a complicated man, nobody understands him but the vice-president . . .
TAFT!
He's a dirty mother . . .
SHUT YO MOUTH!
I was talking about Taft, you dig?
WE DIG.
"What was that about?"
"We were trying to parody SHAFT from memory," said the Mysterious
Chairman. "But no matter! Let us find President Taft, and send him after
Vector!"
To be continued by someone else.
---------------------
Tom Russell, Jnr. (Russ-Man)
"I masticate frequently. Three times a day. With my whole family. At family
reunions, too."
-Drew Sanders
Birth Of A Villain #11.5
From: Saxon Brenton <Saxon.Brenton at uts.edu.au>
Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh,rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [LNH] Birth Of A Villain #11-and-a-half
Date: 5 Apr 1999 22:19:09 GMT
Blue Light Productions presents:
Birth Of A Villain #11-and-a-half
A chaotic add-on cascade-type Legion of Net.Heroes title
"Fight Scene With No New Heroes Added (I Can Do Enough Damage With
The Ones Already Here, Thank You Very Much)"
Written by Saxon Brenton
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Continuity note: This was originally written to be #10, but then got
pushed forward as Ben and Tom posted #10 and #11 themselves. Then I
finished this, prepared to post, but remembered how fast this cascade was
running and prudently checked rec.arts.comics.creative. Seeing that Ted
had just posted #12, but that its events definitely comes _after_ mine,
this issue becomes #11-and-a-half.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Previously, at the conclusion of issue 9:
"Mouse, dear," Writers Block Woman called from the driver's seat.
"And Lite. There's something up here I think you really should see."
"Really should see, as in we want to see it, or really should see
as in this could well be the last thing we ever see?" Lite asked.
"Well, you know, it sees us, and it seems rather unhappy about what
it sees, and I thought perhaps there might be something we ought to do
about that," Writers Block Woman replied.
Mouse and Lite looked at each other. "Oy," they said.
Then, later, at the conclusion of issue 10:
"Don't tempt me," said Mouse. "Can someone please shut Coward Lad
up...? Anyone? Duct tape, maybe?"
"I can," said DeadHeadMan, "I could slip inside and possess his jaw,
keep it clenched. Might give you some quiet while you explain what's
happened?"
"You can...get in. Peace and quiet, at last..." Mouse smiled ever so
darkly. "Right then. Let's go shoot some bad guys!"
Now, having skipped over the events of issue 11 as not related to this
particular plot thread:
"Well, there's one outside," offered Writers Block Woman, helpfully.
Everybody looked at her.
"Well," continued WBWoman, "I *think* it's a bad guy. It isn't human
shaped, and of course it's not wearing spandex, but it is looking really
nastily at us."
"Mum, what are you talking about? We've already met... You mean
there's someone _else_ out there?"
"SomeTHING else," offered the Chinese Guy With The Squirrel On His
Shoulder, peaking out the window of the van. His lips didn't move in sync
with his slightly Australian-accented words.
"Yes, of course," replied WBW brightly. "What, you think I'm go to
go to the bother of putting the van into a dramatic swerve to avoid
someone who's intangible?"
"Oh, thank you very much," said DeadHeadMan through Coward Lad's
mouth.
"And it's still out there," added the Chinese Guy With The Squirrel
On His Shoulder, hoping to emphasise the point.
"Yes! Something to shoot! Thank you!" crowed Twaeila as she began to
disembark. The others followed.
It was big and ugly - about the size of an ox, and with features that
were an indeterminate mixture of all sorts of critters. The glowing eyes
and rancid breath that could have knocked down Mac trucks from thee city
blocks away only added to the combination. It pawed at the ground and
snarled in undisguised menace as the eight net.heroes, er... well,
heroes... no, let's just stick with people for the time being... (Writers
Block Woman, Mouse, Easily-Discovered Man Lite, Twaeila Brock, Coward Lad
and DeadHeadMan, the Chinese Guy With The Squirrel On His Shoulder and the
Squirrel Sitting On The Shoulder Of The Chinese Guy) exited the van.
"Oh crud," said Mouse. She seemed to recognise it.
"What is that?" asked the Chinese Guy With The Squirrel On His
Shoulder.
"It's the Writers Block Beast," said Mouse.
The Chinese Guy With The Squirrel On His Shoulder looked at her, then
stole a covert look at her mother. "And it's relationship with?..."
"There's *no* relationship," stated WBW, firmly.
"It's the creature that goes around attacking Writers of this world,
forcing them to spend less time on their stories, sometimes even forcing
them to give up writing altogether," explained Mouse, eyeing the WBBeast
warily.
"So what's it doing here?" asked Coward Lad and/or DeadHeadMan.
"At a guess, I'd say it's been attracted, and irritated, by this
series' high posting rate," replied Lite.
"Run that by me again?" said Twaeila. She was aiming at the Beast,
clearly intent on perforating it if it made any false moves.
EDMLite sighed. "It's been only five days since the first part of
this cascade story was posted, and we're already up to number 12. That's
faster than the 'Saviours Of The Net' cascade managed, and faster than
pretty much anything else active on r.a.c.c. at the moment, even counting
_Teenfactor_. Personally I think we might be headed for early burn-out,
but in the meantime the Writers Block Beast must've been PO'd to our high
turnover rate and wants it stopped." Almost as if in agreement, the Beast
growled.
"High frequency of postage doesn't equate to high rate of bandwidth
use," pointed out Mouse, still eyeing the Beast warily. "And then there's
the issue of quality over quantity."
"Tell *it* that," said Lite, carefully reaching for his spatula.
The Writers Block Beast charged. The various heroes scattered, even
Twaeila when it became apparent that the Beast was ignoring the shots
from her energy rifle because of some plot contrivance or other.
"Ha! Toro, toro!" called Writers Block Woman, who had taken to the
air and was floating above the creature, just out of its reach. The Beast
thrashed around, lashing out at random heroes as they made themselves
obvious and then ducked away so that another person behind the Beast
could attract its attention. One swipe came near to disembowelling Lite,
but he managed to duck aside and the Beast instead shredded a lengthy
horizontal claw mark out of the side of the van.
"Okay, we've got its attention," said Lite, managing to hold onto his
jocularity. "What next?"
"I have an idea," said the Chinese Guy With The Squirrel On His
Shoulder, "but I'll need to get at the pressure point on its neck."
"How do you even know that it's even got a pressure point on its
neck?" Twaeila snarked, rather disdainful than there should be people who
handled their mass destruction with anything other than the elegant
simplicity of a FBG, but at the same time mildly rattled by the fact that
hers wasn't doing much good against the Writers Block Beast and was trying
not to show it.
The muscular Chinese man looked at her with a touch of incredulity.
"It always works in the movies."
Meanwhile, something that had been preying on Writers Block Woman's
mind suddenly came to clarity, for her at least. "My God!" she exclaimed.
"An Alt.stralian accent! You!" she cried, pointing at the Chinese Guy With
The Squirrel On His Shoulder, "You're *Cultural Cringe Boy*, aren't you!"
"What?" went the Chinese Guy With The Squirrel On His Shoulder,
thoroughly bemused.
"Arghh!" went Mouse. "Mum, we don't have *time* for this! We... eep!"
Mouse exclaimed as she dodged a near-hit by the WBBeast.
"Then why hasn't he given us his superheroic nom de plume, hmmm?"
demanded Writers Block Woman, safely floating about the mayhem being
wrecked by the Beast.
"He *can't*," complained Mouse. "He's a joke that Dvandom brought in
and which the other Writers have picked it up and run with. *We* all know
who he is, but we can't say his name until Dvandom realises the corner
he's painted us into and comes out and confirms that his character is
crossing over. Or says that it's someone completely different. Copyright
reasons, Mum, copyright reasons!"
"This is insane," declared the Chinese Guy With The Squirrel On His
Shoulder, falling onto his back and curling his legs up to his chest as
the Beast lunged at him. "Flying Zucchini Brothers Flip!" he cried,
catching the Beast by surprise with the force from his coiled-up legs as
he used them to hurl it backwards and away from the group. "You sure that
you people don't have one of the Crazy Plots around here?"
"This is the Looniverse, young man," retorted Writers Block Woman.
"Around here we use Gibbering In Outright Insanity Plots or nothing!
You'd do well to remember that."
"Hah!" cried Coward Lad, leaping on to the back of the Beast,
apparently having mastered his fear of large angry animals. Either that
or DeadHeadMan was running his body in total disregard of Coward Lad's
preferences on the matter. The Writers Block Beast reared back, like a
bronco, trying to shake CLad off. "I've got him! I've got him! Now for
God's sake, somebody put a stop to it while it's distracted!"
Twaeila took the opportunity to use her rifle as a club, which didn't
actually do much damage to the Beast but acted as further distraction
while the Chinese Guy With The Squirrel On His Shoulder did an amazing
triple back-flip to get in range of the Beast. Then, with a cry of "Vulcan
Nerve Pinch!" he struck out with one hand, touching the Beast on the neck.
The creature collapsed. "Gnaagh!" cried Coward Lad as he desperately
scrambled to not be under the WBBeast's enormous carcass when it hit the
ground.
For a few seconds, there was silence. Then, Lite said, "I notice you
didn't use the Vulcan Death Grip on it."
"There's no such thing as the Vulcan Death Grip," replied the Chinese
Guy With The Squirrel On His Shoulder distractedly. "Besides, it wouldn't
have been ethical to kill a dumb beast if I had another option."
"Pity," said Lite. "That's one animal that I don't even think that
Greenpeace would mind if it became extinct."
"How long will it be unconscious?" asked Mouse.
"Dunno," came the out-of-sync reply. "A couple of hours, maybe."
"Fine then," said Mouse, getting back to business. "We're not that
far from the LNHQ, unless Carmen's gone and nicked it again. We can be
there in a few minutes, send someone back to pick this thing up and shove
it in stasis or something, and then get on with our *real* purpose of
using the scanners back at the base to try and track down Vector."
"Wow, you actually remembered what we're supposed to be doing?" said
Lite fliply.
"Somebody has to," replied Twaeila, acidly.
"Alright, everybody, back into the van."
WILL THE HEROES MAKE IT BACK TO THE LNHQ? OR HAS
CARMEN SANFRANCSCO STOLEN IT AGAIN? OR WILL THEY BE
DISTRACTED BY MEETING SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE THEY CAN
FIND OUT?
WILL THE WRITERS BLOCK BEAST BE CAPTURED, OR WILL IT
WAKE UP BEFORE IT CAN BE COLLECTED AND ROAM ABOUT,
CAUSING THIS CASCADE TO WITHER AWAY?
WILL WRITERS BLOCK WOMAN ACCEPT THAT THE CHINESE GUY
WITH A SQUIRREL ON HIS SHOULDER ISN'T CULTURAL CRINGE
BOY?
IT'S ISSUE NUMBER ELEVEN-AND-A-HALF, AND THE STORY
HASN'T SPLIT INTO MULTIPLE TIMELINES YET. WHAT SINISTER
FORCE COULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?
ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS MAY OR MAY NOT BE
FORTHCOMING IN FUTURE ISSUES OF: "BIRTH OF A VILLAIN"!
-----
Saxon Brenton University of Technology, city library, Sydney, Australia
saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au
==========
Next Week: It's Birth of a Villain Time!!! (Part Five)!!!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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