LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #41: The Crimes of the Brotherhood Part Four

[Drew Perron]

On 12/23/2017 11:52 AM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
 > YAMMERCOMICS proudly presents:
 > 
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 > #!                   $#            %#                      #$
 > *$($&@%# @##@#. !& $#*@#! #@S#&#   @&  ^%#@ %%*# $@#@ !@&! $%
 >        #@ %#  #@ $%   $?   $$===    !@    $! #$   $#   $)   $*
 > (&#^@%$@ !%#@$^ #)   #@   $#$@@#   $($#$*(@ $#   %!   [!   #(@
 >           &#
 >           *!

ahhhhhh ASCII logos <3 <3 <3

 > "Chris Gumprich Must Die!"
 > By Mike Friedman
 >
 > =====================================================================
 >
 > (Ed. note to the ASPCA: Chris Gumprich appears nowhere in this
 > issue and this title is only used as a joke, and in no way has
 > Chris been harmed in the making of this book.)

I see. X3

 > Nit-Pick Lad awoke from his slumber after having his suitcase
 > thrown upon his stomach. He looked up and saw a figure moving
 > around in the light. The BRIGHT light.

Relatable

 > Trux continued his rant, _Fine then. See if I go with you to beat
 > up this... What was his name, again?_
 >
 > "Chris G-something or another. He supposedly reviews comics or
 > something," she replied.

Ah. X3

 > A lone man sat in the back of a cab in the middle of suburban
 > America. He seemed to be deep in thought.
 >
 > "This is the best idea that I think I've ever had," he thought
 > to himself, "While the rest of the Brotherhood is planning big
 > crimes in Net.tropolis and the big cities, Polybag Person is
 > going to strike it rich committing thousands and thousands of
 > petty crimes in the holiest of holy lands--SUBURBIA!"

Nice. X3

 > The cabbie turned to Polybag Person, "So, do you have relatives
 > in Lafay.net? Or are you just visiting?"
 >
 > "Oh I am just," he paused for a second, noticing a comic shop
 > on the corner, "Uh...I am just VISITING! HAHAHAHAHA!"

*snerk*

 > "Hmmf. That's because he didn't call *you* that," she muttered
 > in response.
 >
 > _Oh yeah. Well, you are a member of the LNH now, you can't just
 > go around bashing people's heads in with broken beer bottles just
 > because they don't like you._
 >
 > "Everybody should like me," she grumbled.

Adorable

 > Spite Grrrl kneeled down beside him, examining the wound, "Damn!
 > I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it! Honest!"
 >
 > _Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you just admit that you're in love
 > with him already,_ interceded the stuffed raccoon.

...um. X3 I'm going to assume this is a long-term thing, because there's no 
evidence of it here~

 > "Fabulous First Issue! First Issue Collector's Item! The
 > Premiere of a Brand New Hero! Yes, they are all mine! This town
 > of Lafay.net has four comic shops per high school student. There
 > are so many stores to rob here, and no LNHers venture out to the
 > suburbs! When I sell these puppies back, I'll have increased
 > profits by nearly 25000%!"

*looks at date of issue* Oh dear. I think someone's bubble is about to pop.

 > He turned up the volume, "...also today, in the small suburb of
 > Lafay.net, one hundred of the town's 402 comic book shops were
 > robbed in what is being dubbed 'The Great Comic Shop Disaster'.
 > We have made a nifty logo for our news coverage, which will last
 > around the night..."

Isn't this going to be a big enough thing to get the attention of the LNH?

 > "Well, just because you have a hotel doesn't invalidate your
 > status as the so called 'Comic Capital' does it?"
 >
 > "Nope. But that's different."
 >
 > "Why? Why is it any different?"
 >
 > "Because they hold comic conventions there everyday."

*snerk*

 > TWO MINUTES AND ONE TRASHED COMIC SHOP LATER:
 >
 > "So," Nit-Pick Lad continued, "His dumb, know-nothing attitude was
 > just a clever ruse to make people buy comics, thinking there would
 > be no other way to spend their money."

Ah, that makes more sense. X3

 > Just then, all three noticed a small kid walk in with a baseball
 > bat. From inside, they could here some faint talking. "Okay, man.
 > Are you gonna sell me those new comics, or do I have to rough you
 > up?"
 >
 > _Jeez. Tough neighborhood,_ thought Trux.

Um. X3 Wow, this era had a lot of Random humor, huh?

Drew "goofball" Perron