GODLING # 49 All-American Hero style? by J. Vandersteen

[Andrew Perron]

On Saturday, May 9, 2015 at 3:43:46 PM UTC-4, jvdste... at gmail.com wrote:
<snip>
>     The naga's fangs barely miss Godling's arm. The One Man Pantheon kicks it
> in one of the heads with Heracles strength. He follows up with a roundhouse
> punch that sends purple blood flying from its mouth.

Relevant: http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=394567

>    "Sorry ladies... Looking good though," Godling says, winking. The
> distraction is enough for the snake to gobble him up though.
>    "That snake... Just devoured him!" one of the ladies says.

That's what *she* said. No wait

> "I just don't know what to do," Quentin Alexander says, sitting in his chair,
> boxes of pizza, thick books about mythology and a bottle of Jack Daniels at
> this feet.

Haven't we all had a weekend like this, getting sloppy on mythology and whiskey?

>    "Seriously... I heard you called in sick at work so I wanted to check if I
> could do something for you. Is that whiskey on your breath? I didn't even
> know you drank? And what's with all the crap on the floor? This place used to
> be sparkly clean!"
>    Quentin shrugs. "Don't know. Midlife crisis?"

Heeheehee

>      Quentin was left alone, confused. "I still love her. I can't help it.
> And if I really love her, shouldn't I do everything I can to make her feel
> better?"

That is the *good* way to think about it. Gold star, Quentin!

>      "Here I am... Shambhala! Land of Wonders!" The Dark Monk says. "Now, my
> followers, invade that castle there!"

No, no, the castle to the left of that one!

>    Then he has reached the throne of the emperor of Shambhala. The man on the
> throne holds up a hand. "Intruder... Why are you here? Why are you killing my
> men? I don't even know you. Why do you wish us harm?"
>      "Nothing personal, Lord Maitreya. I just want the wishing jewel," The
> Dark Monk says.

I'm going to say I'm a bit uncomfortable with this - the Maitreya is a significant figure in Buddhism, and tossing the name in to this minor king character feels disrespectful to its actual meaning.

(Honestly, I'm also a bit uncomfortable with how the Greek gods are used, considering there are people who worship them today, but honestly you're like number one million in line for that behind, oh I don't know, ALL OF WESTERN CULTURE @.@)

>        "We need you to save the world. We learned The Dark Monk has invaded
> Shambhala and is close to seizing the wishing jewel. We need you to go there
> and defeat him," Hermes says.
>        "Not now man, take a look at those babes. The world will have to wait.
> I'm tired, and the last time I faced that Dark Monk dude things got pretty
> hairy. Go to Shambhala yourself, wherever that may be."
>          The One Man Pantheon walks to the half-naked ladies and takes their
> hands. "You like my muscles, ladies?"
>       Hermes is left clueless. "Did he just ignore a message of the Gods?"

This is going to end nicely terribly! <3

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, THE GODS