LNH/HCC: Just Another Cascade #12 part B

[Andrew Perron]

On Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 3:19:51 PM UTC-4, Adrian J. McClure wrote:
> "No," said Catalyst Lass, as the rifts opened wide, encompassing everything.
> At first slowly, and then faster and faster, everything on the diagram began
> to fade away. And then there was nothing. Not light, not darkness, not noise,
> not silence. Nothing at all.

o.o

 
> Then a being appeared in midair--a stick figure with angel wings and a flaming
> sword. "What the hell is that?" said Catalyst Lass.
> 
> "Uh... that's the embodiment of Simplicity," said Net.Access [last seen in
> Ultimate Mercenary #7]
> 
> "Ha!" it said. "I told you if you made things too complicated everything
> would be destroyed! I was right! I told you soooooo..." Then, gradually, he
> faded away and was gone. The silence fell again. Everyone stared out at the
> nothing in the viewscreen.

...what an asshole XD

> "I think I know why I'm here now," said Pliable Lad. "See, I was jumping back
> and forth between these different timelines... I guess they were all different
> worlds of RACC. This was a couple months after the first vote to create RACC
> which failed. [Pliable Lad #8] And I think the RACelestials sent me there so
> I could decide for the vote. And maybe they wanted me to see if RACC has a
> future... I guess it doesn't." He laughed weakly.

Oh good, I was wondering about that! >->;

> Dr. Stomper rubbed his beard. "I'd like to believe that's the case. But
> frankly, our entire existence as a group after 20 years stretches probability
> to the breaking point. If it ended here I wouldn't be surprised. I'll do what
> I can, but I'm not really sure what I can do."

METAFICTIONAL JUSTIFICATION OF OUR OWN EXISTENCE YEAH <3

> "I.. I don't know... I don't want to bring it back," said Sister-State-
> the-Obvious. "Usenet has died out. Most of the authors who made the LNH
> matter are gone and took their characters with them. And most of the
> relationships that people cared about are gone...

;.; nuuu

> All of the LNH stories this year have been written by two people.

...R-Rob did an Easily-Discovered Man in January >->;

> "I'm sorry," croaked Sister State the Obvious. She squeezed his hand. "You're a good man."
> 
> "Thank you."
> 
> "But that's not enough."

;;;;.;;;;

> "He's right," said Net.Access. "We can do this. And we should. When I was in
> college, struggling to get stuff done, with no money and no social life, I
> used to read about the Legion every day. It was the only hope I had. Maybe
> there's someone out there in the Real World who feels the same way. Even if
> there's just one or two people who care about it, that's still enough."

YEAH!

> "Yeah!" said Catalyst Lass. "We can bring back the world. And we should.
> There's so much great stuff. like Cheesecake Eater Lad and his pepperoni and
> avocado cheesecakes, and Token Girl and her life size Totoro plushie, and the
> Peril Room and the sub-basements, the kiwis and the oozelfinches... all of
> that."

YEAH!!!

> Everyone gasped. Somewhere in the cold and endless emptiness, a star briefly
> flickered back into life.

...oh man is this gonna be what I think it's gonna be :D

> "Hmm. Is there any way we can boost my catalytic effect?"
> 
> "...I think so!" said Net.Access. "I could use my circuits to 'broadcast' the
> effect, maybe..."
> 
> "But we'd have to use both magic and science, and like... smoosh them together,
> man," said Dr. Turn-On-Tune-In-Drop-Out.
> 
> "Well," said Net.Access, "we could use my block transfer circuitry to do
> that, I guess..." The room shuddered again. "I think I can hold together that
> long. It'd take a lot of power though."
> 
> "We could use your own enthusiasm for the LNH as a battery source!" said
> Doctor Stomper.

EVERYBODY COMBINING SPECIALTIES <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

> Philosophers and mystics might argue about whether a tree falling in a forest
> made a sound, but Pliable Lad now knew what was the sound of RACelestials
> nodding.

Mmmmmmm. <3

> "No," said Catalyst Lass, who still had a blissed-out smile on her face. "She
> can save us."

Oops, consequences <3

> "I reached you through the Friend Zone," she said. "That's where we are now.
> Because... we are friends, and we always will be even if things don't work out
> in, you know, the dating way. And I'm not going to let go of that. I think..."

AUGH SHIPPING <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

> "I think we can make this work. I don't know who I was before, but everything
> we've been through together, where we are now... It matters. I think this is
> worth a try."

Yeah, I agree. ^-^

> Victoria looked away and shook her head. "No I'm not. You're cool and
> confident and heroic. I'm scared and confused and I have no idea what I'm
> doing."
> 
> Net.Access laughed. "You really think I know what I'm doing? Well I don't. My
> life, it's like this train whose brakes fell out and the ride's great but
> what's going to happen when I reach the destination? I have no idea what I'm
> doing either.

Relationships, pretty much

> Well... except for hopefully you."

Nudge nudge wink wink

> "Aaaaa!" said Catalyst Lass. "That's so adorable!" 

I KNOW RIGHT CAT IS ME

> "I've got it." Catalyst Lass had pulled the Kube out of her pocket and was
> playing with it, almost caressing it. Her laughter was a little worrying. "I
> remember the pattern," she whispered. "I can do this... I can remember
> everything. I can reach the out to the whole universe. I can make *everyone*
> happy."

CONSEQUENCES. :D

> A tiny metal disc whooshed through the air, knocking out of her hands with an
> explosion. "Not a chance, Galadriel," said Token Girl.

! o.O I don't know what that means and I'm fascinated.

> "Let's get going," said Token Girl. "There's a revolution going on. It should
> be winding down right about now."
> 
> "How did you find me, anyway?" said Catalyst Lass.
> 
> "Well, duh, this is the Friend Zone. I guess you must have brought me here
> subconsciously since you knew you needed me." She side-hugged her tightly as
> they walked together.

Friendshipping, THE GREATEST SHIPPING OF ALL

> "Welcome back!" said Anti-Christ Lad. "Where is LAN.os? Yon disgruntled horde
> would have words with him?"

Heeheehee

> "All right," said Burning Bra Lass, "it's over for you now, LAN.os. The fat
> lady sang. And that's me!"

:D

> "No! No! It can't end like this!" LAN.os was on the verge of tears. "You
> can't take this away from me! Everything I ever did, I did for love!"
> 
> "Well why didn't you pay us?" said one of the Dorf soldiers.
> 
> "Love is expensive!"

*cackles*

> "Okay, this has gone on long enough." Lydia Devin stepped out of the shadows,
> facing LAN.os. "Look. I hate to break it to you--well, actually, I don't--but
> it's not going to work. For one thing, I'm not interested in *any*one that
> way. For another thing, I wouldn't be interested in you anyway. You don't
> need the Kube, because it'd just tell you what you already know and you won't
> listen. The reason no one wants you isn't because the universe is unfair,
> it's because you're a colossal douchebag."
> 
> LAN.os removed the fedora from his head and shed a single tear. 

Perfect. <3

> "And incidentally," said Lydia, "I could write a whole damn book about how
> unfair the universe is, and in fact I did [it's being revised right
> now!--ed.], 

It's true!

> "Well, um," said Lydia, "you could try exploring the Friend Zone a bit. You
> know, actually making friends.Not that I could give you any help there.
> That's why i sent you there--you'd have to really make friends with someone if
> you wanted to get out.

Ooooh, nice tie-together.

> And then a towering image of a woman appeared above them. Everyone instantly
> went still. A few of the LNHers had encountered her before. The earliest
> members had fought her in the days of the Cry.sig on Infinite Net.Earths, a
> few others had run across her later traveling between worlds [in the Ultimate
> Mercenary miniseries]. But everyone recognized her. She was one of the first
> and greatest enemies the LNH had ever faced--the Crossover Queen.

Oh, yeah, she's in this story too!

> "Ah yes." The Crossover Queen scowled. "That was impressive--"
> 
> "Why thank you." Catalyst Lass wiggled her eyebrows.

SHIPPING wait no

> "Cascades and crossovers seem to resemble each other," said Crossover Queen,
> "but they are deeply opposed. Crossovers are forces of order, binding worlds
> together, while cascades are forces of chaos, disrupting and destroying all
> common sense. What was the point of all that business with the duck?"
> 
> "Why did there need to be a point?" said Catalyst Lass.

HECK YEAH!

> "You do not know what you are rejecting, Catalyst Lass. Your power and
> leadership is as great as mine. If you joined me, your world need fear
> nothing again!" The Queen threw up her arms. "You are worthy to stand as my
> consort, 

Wait, I was right the first time

> "And what of you, Lydia Devin?" said the Crossover Queen.
> 
> "Hey don't look at me, Queenie, this isn't my universe," said Lydia, still standing awkwardly to the side of everything. "I get enough headaches with just the one" 

Yeah, she's more a Tumblr gal.

> "I could teach you to use your powers properly." She swirled over to Lydia
> and looked her in the eyes. "You need not fear them. You need no longer live
> under the tyranny of your sister..."
> 
> Lydia had looked as if she was considering it for a moment, but her face
> hardened and she set her shoulders firmly. "Excuse me. That's not your
> business. You're not the one who gets to get back at my sister." A dark aura
> began to swirl around her. "Funny you should mention her. I knew you reminded
> me of someone."

Oooooh, *good* invocation.

> "Is that..." said Doctor Stomper.
> 
> "Jesus," muttered Lydia. "Her fashion sense got even worse. I didn't know that was possible."

Heeheehee

> Lacuna, one of those who'd been dragged in behind her stood up unsteadily and
> took in the scene around her.. "Oh no," she said. "No. We're too late. This
> is when it all started. The Beigewar."

DUN DUN DUNNN

> "Okay!" said Merissa. "You people had better give me the Kube, or there will
> be SERIOUS HURTING!" She put her finger on the trigger of the BIGGUN.
> 
> Catalyst Lass raised her finger to her lips, the rest of the team. She took
> out the Kube and held it in her hand, looking at Merissa carefully.
> 
> "Sure," she said, and swiftly tossed the Kube to her.

AWESOME

> TO BE CONCLUDED!

...well crap, now I gotta finish it. @-@

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, lucky number 13, coming soon!