LNHY: Looniverse Y #15, "The Tale of Firefighter"

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat Nov 22 08:06:42 PST 2014

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        L     O     O     N     I     V     E     R     S     E
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                              N U M B E R
                             F I F T E E N

[ You know those covers where you collect nine different versions and
   it makes a collage? This is the upper left corner, where a man in a
   button-up shirt and slacks is shooting a blast of flame. ]


    Ten-year-old gadgeteer and part-time anarchist Kid Enthusiastic-Y
walked into the base of the supervillain team he lead, the System
Corrupters, with a box of pizza. "Hey, guys, what's--" Everything was on

    "Around... the... WORLD!" The yo-yo spun faster and faster

    <:It says right in the FAQ that we don't accept fanfic characters,:>
the artificial consciousness known as the System Corrupters New Member
Detector said primly.

    "But I can't consciously control my ability to induce crises!" said

    "'ey, guys," said Public Eye. "Does anything seem kinda funny to

    "Well," said Public Eye, another member of the team, "there's the
wormhole yo-yo Kid E-Y was working on; Dr. Frankencorn's cherry bombs; a
roll of duct tape; one of Exciting Leather Strap-On Lass's spare, ah,
novelties; the leftover temporal core from the timeship that that 'Kid
Gallifrey' guy we rejected was using..."

    and faster and faster

    The flaming cup hit a stack of crayon-fireworks, which shot off in
all directions, blazing green-yellow and yellow-green sparks. A cup of
flour exploded.

    Public Eye grabbed a paper cup - only to find that the cup itself had
burst into flame. She shouted and tossed it across the room.

    He took a deep breath, stood up, and let it out. His keen mind was
reaching back, back, to being seven or eight, getting that book of
tricks for his birthday, practicing them over and over until he was

    and faster and faster and faster and faster

    "I'm getting... kind of stressed, guys..." A tiny flame appeared on
the edge of the cardboard box. Oh, *shit* - his pyrokinesis was acting
up, and that meant...

    "Huh," said Firefighter. He picked up the silvery ring. "Doesn't look
much like a core."

    Firefighter leapt and caught the yo-yo. "But I... I..." His brow
furrowed. "Okay. Think of it as an engineering project. How do you
solve... of course!" He pulled the duct tape out of the lost-and-found,
pressed the silvery ring to the yo-yo, and wrapped it around and around.

    faster faster faster faster

    "Really... REALLY... stressed... now..." Firefighter crouched in the
middle of the floor. His head was throbbing, and he could see the
silvery ring pulsing with energy on the floor next to him.

    "That's why *you* have to be the one to send the temporal core away,
Lance!" Kid Enthusiastic-Y scooped up the yo-yo and threw it to him.

    <:Your psychic crisis field is reacting with the temporal core!:>
shouted the SCNMDetector. <:We've got to get rid of it!:>

    "Hey guys, what's this in the lost-and-found box?" said Lance Bistro,
AKA Firefighter, the newest member of the System Corrupters.


    Everyone slowly, carefully stood up. Flames smoldered in the corners
of the room, slowly going out. "I think it's over," said Public Eye.

    "So! Anybody want pizza?"


Author's Note: In addition to being the first LNHY Tenth Anniversary
character story, this also fulfills three different writing prompts for
the eighth round of Prompt Service:

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, Firefighter created by Scott Eiler,
Usable Without Permission.

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