LNHY: Death of Trophy Wife #4

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Sun Nov 16 12:55:48 PST 2014

"God is dead."

"Actually, he's in a coma." The teenage girl was wearing a black kosode and 
hakama, with a white shitagi underneath. Her purple-and-silver hair stood out 
in bright contrast, as did her enormous green eyes. Her quill pen flicked over 
the clipboard she was holding. "But I understand the mistake; it's hard to 
make out details through the divine presence."

"Yeah, well." The young boy knelt to examine the body. He hardly needed to, 
being three feet tall. His enormous hair swished in the cosmic winds as he 
turned around. "Either way, Shinigami Girl, what are we looking for in terms 
of means, motive and opportunity?"

"Hard to say, Dead Boy. It's not often that a deity-class being gets taken 
out. At least, when they're not fighting some overpowered ninja." She rolled 
her eyes. "Can't believe he wasn't even wearing orange."

When they had found it, the body of God had been three hundred cubits long, 
but now, he had shrunk to the size of a normal human being. Shinigami Girl put 
on a pair of sunglasses and examined his face. Looked like a normal, if 
handsome, human man. Weird. "No visible wounds. No physical evidence left 
behind. Where do you even start on this sort of case?"

"Can we check his Handbook entry?"

"Sure, but you know that the Official Handbook of the Looniverse entries for 
Cosmic Beings are all fluff and no crunch." Shinigami Girl's hand went 
translucent, and she reached gingerly into God's chest, fishing around a bit 
until she found what she was looking for.

She pulled out a slightly tattered piece of newsprint and gave it a look-over. 
"This can't be right..." She took off the sunglasses and rubbed her eyes, but 
the words stayed the same.

"Hmmmm?" said Dead Boy. "Let me see..."

Person Kid
CREATED BY: Arthur Spitz
TYPE: Usable Without Permission
FIRST ISSUE: Young Comics #1

The one who started it all! Person Kid was there at the beginning of Earth-Y's 
Heroic Age, bringing together the League of New Heroic Youth. Together, they 
ended the Great Depression and stopped fascism around the world. After the 
LNHY's battle against The Last Dictator, Greef Graves revealed his identity to 
the world and became the First Among Equals of the League of Nations, guiding 
Earth-Y into a new age of peace and prosperity. But when Heaven itself called 
him to fight the armies of Hell, he left the world behind, rising to an 
all-new adventure!

They looked at each other.

"Mother$%^@ing Carrie Fisher," said Dead Boy. "This is way above our pay 
grade, you know."

"We get paid?" smirked Shinigami Lass. But her enormous eyes were sober. "I 
think we need some history lessons. Time to visit the Before God Guys."

Author's Note: The idea of turning the original Manga Girl and Fuzzboy into 
afterlife cops was Adrian's. The characters are Free For Use, as are, I 
believe, all of Tom's Classic LNH characters.

Also, relevant reference: 

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, retcons retcons dootly doo~

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