8FOLD/ACRA: Jolt City # 22, "October Surprise!" (Part 1 of 3)

[Tom Russell]

On Monday, July 21, 2014 12:20:33 AM UTC-4, Andrew Perron wrote:
> On 7/17/2014 10:10 PM, Tom Russell wrote:

> >     "So you know who I am," says Bethany, sauntering coolly to her
> 
> > sofa. "What are you going to do about it?"
> 
> >     "Pardon?" says Trimmer. "You mumbled."
> 
> >     Which kinda takes the cool right out of it.
> 
> 
> 
> Augh, Bethany. XD This is good characterization.

Thank you.

> 
> Good scene. It... doesn't have the vague things that were bothering me about 
> 
> characterization in previous issues. `.`v

The scene was at least in part intended as a corrective of that. I thought, I had better write a damn good scene with Bethany, and a damn good scene with Trimmer, so as to shake that "bitchy, insecure" vibe. And then I thought, hey, might as well make it the same scene.

> >     A few minutes later, Boyle appears. He is, as he ever was, an ugly
> 
> > son of a bitch. His fat face is red, bald, and blistered over with
> 
> > puss and boils. Every inch just covered in it. Worst of all, he
> 
> > constantly scratches at it, blood and skin oozing from his pores and
> 
> > stuck beneath his fingernails.
> 
> 
> 
> Okay I know we're doing Dick Tracy but o.o (Actually no, I just realized that)

Yes, Chester Gould was definitely an influence here.

> >     "I said the thing we need to do is get you dating again," says Derek.
> 
> >     "No," says Martin. "That is not a thing we need to do."
> 
> 
> 
> Oh god. <3

I want to say that one thing I like about this style of commentary, especially as you practice it, is that you point out the moment that you <3. In some ways I can see my fiction as a collection of moments and beats. This is especially true of JOLT CITY, which isn't as focused on the "plot" (the way, say, that ORPHANS OF MARS can be) but rather on the "texture". So something like this, in which you point out the bits of that texture that work, is tremendously helpful.
> 
> >     Given their penchant for operating through their "puppets", this is
> 
> > unlikely as it exposes them to discovery and capture. More likely, b,
> 
> > they made a special trip to Jolt City for the purposes of choosing and
> 
> > implanting their victims. And if that's true-- let's not get ahead of
> 
> > ourselves, but if!-- it's far more likely that they would try to
> 
> > implant multiple victims in one trip, rather than making separate and
> 
> > conspicuous trips for each one.
> 
> >     If he can prove that, if they can pinpoint when these trips took
> 
> > place, and perhaps over what duration...
> 
> >     He gives Glass a call.
> 
> 
> 
> Derek is great.

I like to think so. :-)

As you've said before, he's better at thinking his way out of things, and figuring things out, then the actual punching-things/dodging-things part of it. And as he becomes more cognizant-- or, to be more precise, because I think he's already aware of it, rather as he becomes more accepting-- of that fact, we'll see him growing in the direction I hinted at earlier, as a sort of "buffer".

That is, of course, should he survive the next issue.

> Yeah um, about that - well, I'll save that comment for the resolution of this 
> 
> plotline; see how you handle that. u.uv
> 
> 
> 
> ...is what I said when I initially read through this. You have calmed my 
> 
> doubts. <3

One advantage to doing this longer-form kind of installments is that I can raise and resolve issues in a single go.

One disadvantage is that you sometimes have to wait a year between installments. :-)

> >     "A person leaves two trails," says Glass. "There's the trail they
> 
> > leave by documents. And the trail they leave in people. We've got
> 
> > plenty of the former, none of the latter."
> 
> 
> 
> Oooooh, nice point.

I tried to make these kind of procedural elements at least semi-convincing (as much as possible given the genre).
 
>  >     "No, I mean, this is actual science," says Derek. "We used to
> 
>  > think, the old model, is that every point in the present, there are
> 
>  > infinite alternate futures. An infinite number of ways it can go.
> 
>  > Every decision creates a new timeline, et cetera. But it's actually
> 
>  > backwards. There's only one present, and its fixed, but with infinite
> 
>  > alternate pasts. That this moment, right here, will always be, but
> 
>  > there are an infinite number of ways for us to get to this same point.
> 
>  > All roads lead to Rome." [4]
> 
>  >     "That makes no sense," says Pam.
> 
> 
> 
> ...it really doesn't. O.o What? Lemme check the footnotes...
> 
> 
> 
> > People complain a lot about alternate timelines being confusing,
> 
> > but they're really not; anyone who has seen IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE can
> 
> > get a grasp on them. So I decided I should make them *actually*
> 
> > confusing. You're welcome.
> 
> 
> 
> DANGIT TOM *fistshake*

It's wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff. As Dr. Fay mentions later, this might not actually be how time works in the Eightfold Universe (though the big time-tries-to-kill-you thing is a bit of canon I've been meaning to establish for a *very* long time, and one reason why I always tell new writers, "no time travel"-- I was saving it for myself!).

>  >     "Don Valentine, please," says Ronove. "I am only playing... devil's
> 
>  > advocate." He's quite amused with that.
> 
> 
> 
> More like dorkvil.

Ha!

>  >     "For my nephew was more than nephew. Having no children of my own,
> 
>  > truth told, he was more like my son. And only a son will do."
> 
> 
> 
> Man, this is pretty medieval.

With the whole gangster thing, I was going for a more-- I don't want to say "elevated", because there's quite a bit of cursing; arch? ornate?-- a more ornate approach to the dialogue. Which does give it a medieval sort of vibe.

One thing I talk about a lot when I talk about superheroes is that it's the genre that's really every genre, where you can tell any kind of story, but it's not something a do a whole lot of in practice. That is, I tend to stay within a particular range in my superhero fiction, so doing this bizarre and violent Dick Tracy/Godfather thing was an attempt to do some exploring outside that comfortable range.

>  >     "I didn't say it was going to be a she..."
> 
>  >     "Aw, c'mon, Glass," says Derek. "If I'm going to be murdered, it
> 
>  > better be by a gorgeous woman. I want to leave this world the way I
> 
>  > lived in it."
> 
>  >     "Annoying the opposite sex?"
> 
>  >     "Exactly."
> 
> 
> 
> Ahhhhhh, Derek. <3

One thing I've tried to do in this arc (from #18 on) is basically have Derek be attracted to pretty much every woman he meets. He crushes on Pam, Bethany, Trini Tran, Alix, Dr. Fay, even a girl in his class who is only really mentioned in the context of his crushing. And that's because I wanted to capture what it is to be twenty, single, and beginning to realize that if you put a little bit of effort into it, you can probably get a girlfriend or at least a date. At that time, for some men anyway, it can seem like every woman is a potential partner. The whole world is filled with romantic and erotic possibilities. Whether that's true or not is a whole 'nother thing, but the "feeling" of it is what I wanted to capture. The flip-side to this-- the pitfall-- of course is objectification or misogyny. I tried to avoid that particular vibe by using humor.

>  >     "I actually don't know what's going on with FEVER," says Martin.
> 
>  >     "Haven't you been online?"
> 
>  >     "Boxer usually handles that. He had to go out last night. Something
> 
>  > FEVER-related."
> 
> 
> 
> Martiiiiiiiin

He's been busy! With mobsters! :-)

>  >     "Not a guess," says Derek. "You said you were the common enemy of
> 
>  > mankind. It was a quote. From Gibbon. Describing one of the roman
> 
>  > emperors. Caracalla. Kara Caller, Caracalla."
> 
>  >     "Caracalla will do," says she.
> 
>  >     "It was kind of obvious," says Derek. "Your overdue library book.
> 
>  > Also, the pun."
> 
> 
> 
> Heeheehee.

I've been sitting on this moment ever since I wrote the climax to the last one. "The common enemy of mankind" is such a distinctive, and google-able, quote that I was worried when I introduced Kara in this one that everyone would be like, OH, KARA CALLER, COMMON ENEMY OF MANKIND.

>  >     "Can you hear them, slithering their way in? They who rent the
> 
>  > flesh and devour the soul. The defilers of hope and destroyers of
> 
>  > dreams. The Dyzen'thari!"
> 
> 
> 
> ...
> 
> 
> 
> Ohhhhhh
> 
> 
> 
> OHHHHHH
> 
> 
> 
> OH DAMN
> 
> 
> 
> OH SNAP YEAH
> 
> 
> 
> (I wonder what you were planning before?)

Something pretty similar, with the fear as the trigger, but far less cosmic in scope. But honestly, by the time I had finished writing # 21, Medley # 1 had already come out, and I immediately thought, "y'know what, they would work perfectly".

Note that something else from your original story made a sort of sideways appearance here...

He said, ominously.
 
>  > TO BE CONCLUDED IN JOLT CITY # 23...
> 
>  >
> 
>  >            "...THEIR LAST ADVENTURE...!"
> 
> 
> 
> Tom, this is easily the best issue so far, and may, in fact, be the best thing 
> 
> you've ever written. <3

That's very kind; thank you. I wasn't sure about this one-- I felt I had done a really good job with #21, and was worried this wouldn't, or didn't, measure up. Glad to hear at least one opinion to the contrary. :-)

>  > [7] Kate is Kate Morgan, the second Dr. Metronome, who Bethany met in
> 
>  > JOURNEY INTO # 19, which took place in September 2008. Marva is one of
> 
>  > Bethany's friends, mentioned in every one of her appearances, but
> 
>  > never seen. Marva serves two purposes: first, I am able to emphasis
> 
>  > Bethany's shyness/introversion without making her a lonely, friendless
> 
>  > sad-sack. Second, it lends the series some verisimilitude by
> 
>  > acknowledging the existence of people outside the confines of the
> 
>  > actual story/plot.
> 
> 
> 
> I quite like that!

Thanks!

>  > [13] To be technical, a bundle of shingles is one-third of a square,
> 
>  > and a square is a roofer's measurement equal to one hundred square
> 
>  > feet. So, three bundles equals a hundred square feet, and a single
> 
>  > bundle actually works out to be thirty-three and a third.
> 
> 
> 
> Hmmmm, yes *rubs chin*

One advantage to Derek becoming a contractor is that I can actually draw on knowledge from my working life (in a related field).

>  > [15] Wendy's Gourmet Mushroom Swissburger was a limited offer sandwich
> 
>  > available in America during the autumn of 2008 through early 2009.
> 
>  > And, I'm not going to lie: I LOVED THAT SANDWICH. It was pretty much
> 
>  > the best fast food burger I had ever had. At that time, I was eating
> 
>  > at Wendy's once or twice a week for lunch-- it was close to work-- and
> 
>  > I had it every time until it was discontinued.
> 
> 
> 
> Honestly? Me too. I also really liked putting that stuff on the chicken sammiches.

I WISH I HAD THOUGHT OF THAT

ARGH WENDY'S COME ON BRING IT BACK
 
>  > [4] People complain a lot about alternate timelines being confusing,
> 
>  > but they're really not; anyone who has seen IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE can
> 
>  > get a grasp on them. So I decided I should make them *actually*
> 
>  > confusing. You're welcome.
> 
> 
> 
> *fistshaaaaaaake*

You're welcome. :-)

>  > Ronove (the gangster) is obviously different in many particulars. I
> 
>  > had considered using Furfur, a goetic demon that "never speaket Truth,
> 
>  > except he be compelled or brought up within a Triangle". He certainly
> 
>  > better fits the trickster role than Ronove. But Furfur, besides having
> 
>  > a silly name, has angel wings and antlers, and for some reason I can't
> 
>  > not see antlers as inherently ridiculous.
> 
> 
> 
> I dunno - in your aesthetic, I think the ridiculousness would work.

Well, ridiculousness works in the genre, provided you take it seriously. It's something Kirby did really well, and something I like about the LNH here on RACC. I think I wrote an essay about it a long time back, about how the ridiculous can get you to the sublime.

But the antlers are just so ridiculous, and so comical for me, that I can't take it seriously long enough to write anything. Like, I would just sit there laughing hysterically the whole time, which wouldn't work for this particular story. Something like Detective 999, for example, okay.

That said, something antlered is on the way...

>  > [1] In one of many erratic Hail Mary passes made by McCain, he
> 
>  > announced on September 24, 2008 that he would be "suspending" his
> 
>  > campaign in order to end partisan bickering in the financial crisis.
> 
>  > His efforts did little to end that bickering, and his campaign
> 
>  > "resumed" on September 26.
> 
> 
> 
> Huh, you'd think I'd remember that. Well, that *was* the period where I was 
> 
> putting my nose to the grindstone to make sure I'd graduate. (Happily, it worked.)

Yay!

>  > [3] Vernors Ginger Ale (yes, it is Vernors, not Vernor's or Vernor) is
> 
>  > the oldest commercial ginger ale in the United States. It originated
> 
>  > in Detroit after the Civil War, and is available in some thirty-three
> 
>  > states, mostly in the Midwest, and in Canada. Michigan itself still
> 
>  > accounts for some eighty percent of its sales, but it is also popular
> 
>  > in Illinois, Ohio, and Florida. It has a rather unusual, some would
> 
>  > say "acquired", taste, and served warm or hot it is a popular remedy
> 
>  > in the Midwest for stomach aches and digestive problems.
> 
> 
> 
> Ooooh! Actually ginger-y ginger ale is something we've actually been 
> 
> taste-testing, among local brands. We'll have to seek that out.

It's worth it, but then again, I like the stuff. The wife had a coworker who came to Michigan from Texas, and he thought we all were trying to poison him. Like I said, acquired taste-- the way that White Castle is an acquired taste.

> Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, this was REALLY GOOD.

Thank you so very much.