LNH: Flame Wars Final: First Phase #2

[Scott Eiler]

On 5/6/2013 4:51 PM, Andrew Perron wrote:
> Literary Impossible and Prehistoric Productions present...
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>              |   ^ ^ ^ ^  FLAME  ^ ^ ^ ^ ^  WARS  ^ ^ ^ ^   |
>              |  ^ ^ ^ ^ ^       ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^      ^ ^ ^ ^ ^  |
>              |   FFFFFFF IIIIIII NN   NN   AAAA   LL        |
>     FIRST    |   FF        III   NNN  NN  AA  AA  LL        |   NUMBER
>     PHASE    |   FFFFFF    III   NNNN NN AAAAAAAA LL        |    TWO
>              |   FF        III   NN NNNN AA    AA LLLLLLL   |
>              |   FF      IIIIIII NN  NNN AA    AA LLLLLLL   |
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Casey von Aluminumfoil looked across Net.ropolis. The skyscrapers were
> asleep.
>
> The sky was a dizzying profusion of stars, and he couldn't look into
> its eyes. He walked among prone humans, who ate the lotus of boredom.
> The heartbeat of time was soft and closed.
>
> None could walk, and therefore he did; it would only drive him where he
> was. But a light walked before him. It spun, and its sharp honey gleam
> washed him of delusion. As it lifted the sleepers, he knew why and when
> and what and where it was...
>
> -F-W-F------------------------------------------------------------F-W-F-
>
> The mysterious new Irony Man walked through the Legion dorms toward the
> cafeteria. There, a pancake-and-bacon cheesecake would be acquired.
>
> Look, even shadowy cryptic characters gotta eat.
>
> Suddenly, Casey von Aluminumfoil stumbled out and grabbed onto Irony
> Man's arm. "Sincerity is coming!"
>
> Irony Man stiffened and grabbed his arms. "What did you--"
>
> "Er, hang on a sec." Casey slipped out and slipped out and ducked into
> the bathroom. A release, a flush and a handwashing later, he slid back
> between the metal hands. "Continue!"
>
> "What did you say!?"
>
> He put a hand to his temple. "I don't know... I had a dream? I think?
> And my powers kicked in... a vision of her..."
>
> "Her?" Irony Man practically shook him apart before letting go. "Her
> who!?"
>
> Casey shook the cobwebs out of his head. "She was called... The Messiah
> of Sincerity."
>
> Irony Man looked down at him, then turned away, speaking in a soft,
> consciously steady voice. "I'm assembling a Tsk Force. You're on it. Be
> ready in fifteen."
>
> "Uhh... okay, but I should probably take a shower..."
>
> "Twenty, then." Irony Man strode off down the hallway with measured
> haste.
>
> Casey sighed. Fall asleep watching movies with Bad Judgment Boy *once*
> and you woke up shanghaied into something, mumble grumble... He
> groggily grumped off.

Tsk tsk, he's usually such a polite young man.  Perhaps he needs his rest.


> "Well, yeah," said Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy. "What are we doing? Where
> are we going? By the golden needle of Betty Ross, what's our mission!?"
>
> And Irony Man looked down at them. "To find out which one of you--
> IS THE MURDERER!"

da da DUNN!

> Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, posting this early because I need to go
> somewhere tonight.

what, you're going to do a daily story, then turn around and slam out a 
High Concept Challenge story by the 14th, er, 21st?  You *have* taken a 
Vow of Action!


(signed) Scott Eiler, who's going on vacation instead.  8{D>