LNH: Flame Wars Final: First Phase #2
Andrew Perron
pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon May 6 16:51:35 PDT 2013
Literary Impossible and Prehistoric Productions present...
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| ^ ^ ^ ^ FLAME ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ WARS ^ ^ ^ ^ |
| ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ |
| FFFFFFF IIIIIII NN NN AAAA LL |
FIRST | FF III NNN NN AA AA LL | NUMBER
PHASE | FFFFFF III NNNN NN AAAAAAAA LL | TWO
| FF III NN NNNN AA AA LLLLLLL |
| FF IIIIIII NN NNN AA AA LLLLLLL |
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Casey von Aluminumfoil looked across Net.ropolis. The skyscrapers were
asleep.
The sky was a dizzying profusion of stars, and he couldn't look into
its eyes. He walked among prone humans, who ate the lotus of boredom.
The heartbeat of time was soft and closed.
None could walk, and therefore he did; it would only drive him where he
was. But a light walked before him. It spun, and its sharp honey gleam
washed him of delusion. As it lifted the sleepers, he knew why and when
and what and where it was...
-F-W-F------------------------------------------------------------F-W-F-
The mysterious new Irony Man walked through the Legion dorms toward the
cafeteria. There, a pancake-and-bacon cheesecake would be acquired.
Look, even shadowy cryptic characters gotta eat.
Suddenly, Casey von Aluminumfoil stumbled out and grabbed onto Irony
Man's arm. "Sincerity is coming!"
Irony Man stiffened and grabbed his arms. "What did you--"
"Er, hang on a sec." Casey slipped out and slipped out and ducked into
the bathroom. A release, a flush and a handwashing later, he slid back
between the metal hands. "Continue!"
"What did you say!?"
He put a hand to his temple. "I don't know... I had a dream? I think?
And my powers kicked in... a vision of her..."
"Her?" Irony Man practically shook him apart before letting go. "Her
who!?"
Casey shook the cobwebs out of his head. "She was called... The Messiah
of Sincerity."
Irony Man looked down at him, then turned away, speaking in a soft,
consciously steady voice. "I'm assembling a Tsk Force. You're on it. Be
ready in fifteen."
"Uhh... okay, but I should probably take a shower..."
"Twenty, then." Irony Man strode off down the hallway with measured
haste.
Casey sighed. Fall asleep watching movies with Bad Judgment Boy *once*
and you woke up shanghaied into something, mumble grumble... He
groggily grumped off.
-F-W-F------------------------------------------------------------F-W-F-
Irony Man walked out Ultimate Ninja's office. Casey followed, along
with the rest of the Tsk Force; Cheesecake-Eater Lad, Obnoxious
Ame.rec.a Boy, Francis Bacon Lass, Contraption Man, Anal-Retentive
Archive Kid, and Haiku Gorilla.
"So," Casey said, walking alongside Irony Man. "Did *he* get to know
what we're doing?"
"I told him that we're going to prevent a murder."
"Uh... are we?"
"Yes. Among other things."
"...ah." He kept up a grumbly refrain as they proceeded through the
halls.
They reached the hangar and piled into the flight.thingee. Irony Man
taxied them out onto the ground. The thingee.drive technology kicked in
and sent them in a graceful arc through the clouds. Irony Man set the
autopilot and stepped into the back.
In the rows of seats that lined the metal walls, the Legionnaires
looked up at the armored form, who paced up and down between them. "I
suppose that you're wondering why I've called all of you here."
"Well, yeah," said Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy. "What are we doing? Where
are we going? By the golden needle of Betty Ross, what's our mission!?"
And Irony Man looked down at them. "To find out which one of you--
IS THE MURDERER!"
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Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, posting this early because I need to go
somehere tonight.
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