MISC: Correspondence From the Goddess #4: And We're Back!

mrnelson007 at gmail.com mrnelson007 at gmail.com
Thu Jan 24 23:31:31 PST 2013

Hey everyone. I really didn't mean to ignore RACC here.  Life happened, and the times I did try to come on and post, Google Groups would say it couldn't find the group.  Not sure what was up there.  Anyway. As a reminder, you can read the entire story (now up to Part 17!) over at http://goddesscorrespondence.tumblr.com but I will also try to, you know, actually catch up.  Apologies again.

I’m glad to see you’re all still here with us.  She’s actually writing quite a bit, isn’t she?  Well, I guess it’s not like a novel or anything but still!  Good for her, right?  I remember when this happened.  The hospital was running on an emergency generator.  The whole system got overloaded. We really probably should have paid more attention to that, but it didn’t seem to occur to us at the time.  After all, who really would have guessed that all of this was going to happen? Not the sort of thing you see every day.

- Elana

I’m still not sure why I keep doing this. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. Elana asked, that’s basically 99% of it. The other 1%, well… it does feel nice to have a chance to just let it all out. It’s like venting, just relaxing and cathartic. Plus, hey, if this ever does happen to someone else somehow - not bloody likely but bear with me on this one - then maybe they can have something to work from so they’re not quite so overwhelmed like I was. Hello, Mystery Future Omnipotent Being, welcome to the club. Let me get a few things out of the way. Yeah, it’s pretty sweet, but it also sucks and there’s a hell of a lot of things you suddenly have to worry about. Like not thinking the wrong thing. Or rather, how to distinguish between thought-thoughts and action-thoughts. But anyway. I’m getting ahead of myself again, and this is pretty stupid. So let’s get down to it.

How long have I been in this piece of shit, anyway? It seemed like an eternity, although I knew it was only an hour or so since I had gotten stuck. Still, by this point it was more than a little uncomfortable. Those things are never comfortable to begin with, but this was just making it that much worse. My back was aching, and it wasn’t like I could just shift to whatever position I wanted in one of these.

Of course, that was nothing compared to what was going on in my head. The fleet of jackhammers had joined forces with an entire drum corps, and they were working on a new rendition of The 1812 Overture: Now With a Shitton More Cannons. It was impossible to focus on anything, with the aching overwhelming my entire thought process.

The technician came down to talk to me, rather than using the radio. What else was she going to do, really? Pretty sure she wasn’t allowed to leave me alone like that. “Hello, Lydia. How are you feeling?”

“…seriously? You mean aside from being trapped in here?”

“Well, yes. Aside from that.”

“Well, let’s see. My head is fucking killing me. Does that count?”

“Oh, you have a headache?” A pause, along with the flipping of some papers. “Hm. Maybe I should call the doctor…”

“Oh, good. Yeah, do that. And tell him to bring the fucking technicians with him so I can get out of this thing. What the hell is the doctor going to do for me?”

“Well, I suppose you’re right. There’s nothing to do here, the techs are busy trying to get the power back on anyway. I’m Hope, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Hope. I’m getting really fucking tired of being stuck in here.”

“Wow, gee. I’ve never heard that one before.”

“Look, they can’t all be gold, okay? Can we move along with the ‘getting me out’ part?”

“I’m sorry, Lydia, but there’s really not anything I can do.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Believe me, I don’t want to just sit here and wait, but the whole generator is friend, apparently.”

“Wait, seriously?” That was honestly a surprise. “I thought just the machine was busted.”

“No. It overloaded the whole system. It’s the weirdest thing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything do that before.”

“Huh. Well, sorry I screwed things up then.” I sighed again, for lack of anything better to do.

“It’s fine. Not your fault.”

Of course it wasn’t. Idiot. I rolled my eyes, grumbling that I had to be stuck with the stupidest technician in the entire hospital. By this point, I was fairly effective at at least having a conversation through the pain. Still, I would have preferred to not have the pain at all, of course.

Still, this lady was my only company. Maybe I shouldn’t antagonize her too much. The conversation wasn’t good, but it was all I had. Although conversation was not exactly top of my priorities. Fuck it’s dark. I can’t see a thing. And I’m freezing in this stupid gown. I hate this. Can’t move, freezing my ass off - well that might be nice, it’s pretty huge. I need to lay off the Twinkies probably - and basically blind. Hah. If only I had some fire. Yeah, right, in a hospit- “HOLY FUCK!”

I was on fire.Now, I have been trying not to be negative for most of this. I know I’m not the best at that, but do believe me when I say I’m trying to avoid it. However, let me be completely, emphatically clear here. This was the most painful thing that I have ever experienced and I want to illustrate that the simplicity of that sentence is not at all indicative of the importance of the experience. So I will repeat that. Fire. On my body. All of it.

“JESUS FUCK LET ME OUT OH GOD IT BURNS FUCK!”Something to that extent, anyway. I don’t remember exactly, what with the whole burning to death that I was currently engaged in. And I’m not at all certain what happened next. I remember pounding on the walls and ceiling. My arms ached, but it didn’t matter, nothing was more important than getting out and getting help. “HELP ME!”

I was kicking at the edge of the bed, hoping maybe it would slide loose, punching the ceiling. I was running on instincts and the only thing I could think of was Freedom. It was all a blur, and I’m not sure what happened. Or rather, I wasn’t. I can put the pieces together now, but… well, that’s a story for another time.

- Lydia

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