LNH/HCC: Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #48 [HCC29]

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu May 3 00:45:34 PDT 2012

On Wed, 2 May 2012 09:46:15 +0000 (UTC), Saxon Brenton wrote:

>||    Cover shows Nitpick Lad looking up from a clipboard and saying, 
>|| "This post contains the first half of this story.  Despite promises 
>|| made to the HCC29 adjudicator that he would complete his entry if 
>|| he could only beg, borrow or illicitly clone a 48 hour extension, 
>|| *someone* got too wrapped up in writing the villains' dialogue and 
>|| ended up making the story longer.

Wonk wonk waaaaa~

>      Fortunately the LNH imprint is in continuity with pretty much 
> everything, so, yeah, in a fit of spite Psychovant had sent the Apathy 
> Beast chasing after his own Writer over in the Superhuman World imprint. 
> Some characters just cannot get on with their creators.

I'm just glad I'm not Paladin of Continuity for the mainline, is all I'm
saying. @-@

>      "Heya, Retcon Lad," said Anal-Retentive Archive Kid cheerfully.  
> "I see you've met my replacement, Anal-Retentive Archive Kid II."

What XD

> ARAK I tended to wear the same sort 
> of clothing, of course, saving his official costume of figure-hugging 
> metastable weave for those occasions when he'd need something bullet 
> proof.  He'd been wearing his costume when he'd fought the Apathy Beast 
> for example.

Hmmmmm.  What's it look like? *yoinks description for wiki* *gets
distracted tracking down all his appearances*

>      "What do you mean, 'What am I going to do about it?'?  I'm going to 
> let my replacement handle it, and then when it *doesn't* blow up in his 
> face like Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy expects, I'm going to radiate vast 
> amounts of smug."


>      "No.  I mean..." and then Retcon Lad waggled his fingers in a 
> 'mysterious occult power' type of way.

That's adorable. XD

>      Retcon Lad shook his head.  "Knowing that all the elements will be 
> there to solve a puzzle if, and only if, you're smart enough to put them 
> together is totally different from knowing you'll solve it by fate 
> accompli."  He snapped his fingers.  "There.  That should fix it."
>      ARAK II said nothing, merely giving Retcon Lad a droll look and a 
> raised eyebrow.

Oh, Joe.  You're a bit full of yourself.

>      I suppose we'd better get some villains into this story.


>      The first one capered on the spot.  "Ha ha!  What mischief shall 
> we three do again,  In thunder, lightning or in rain?"
>      The second Space Dvandom gave him a dope slap.  "It's not raining, 
> idiot."
>      "Ow!  Prithee, nunckle.  I am but trying to be suitably portentous."

You know, I totally want to get whoever's the current reincarnation of
Shakespeare doing LNH stories.  I bet they'd be really good.

> [_Birth Of A Villain_ #27 indicated that wReamicus Maximus controlled 
> the Space Dvandoms.  The information that they think he is their creator 
> is new to this story - Footnote Girl]

They actually come from a planet that's half-phased into another imprint.

>      "Ha ha!  Yes, yes!" cackled the first Space Dvandom, who rubbed his 
> hands together in a melodramatically villainous manner and declaimed, 
> "We shall sow chaos and confusion in the name of the Church of Dvandom, 
> and its leader, the great wReamicus Maximus...  Ow!"
>      "Don't keep expositing information that we already know."

Especially when it's taken care of in the narration!

>      "Hello there, sir," one of them said.  "Have you heard the good 
> news that the literary works mistakenly attributed to Shakespeare have 
> been proven to have been really written by Sir Francis Bacon?"  The 
> Space Dvandom did not reply, instead duplicating the form of the young 
> man.  As he did so his victim vanished, being cast into Comic Book Limbo.

Just what such a person deserves. >:/

>      "Ah, okay.  Well, he did kind of go through a rough patch because 
> of what happened in the _Flame Wars 4_, so not feeling quite as social 
> is to be expected, I guess.

"Rough patch".  That's one term for it.

> Perhaps it was the case that 
> Retcon Lad didn't feel comfortable sharing too much of ARAK's personal 
> information to an unknown newcomer.  Perhaps ARAK had kept a lot of his 
> personal information to himself.  Perhaps perhaps perhaps...  But there 
> was at least one other possibility that Anal-Retentive Archive Kid II 
> could think of that might bear investigation.  He'd have to talk with 
> Cheesecake-Eater Lad about that.

Well, he's certainly following in ARAK's footsteps when it comes to
overthinking situations.

>      So, _Blackadder_, season five.  You all know that in the Looniverse 
> they have all sorts of neat pop culture stuff that we can only dream of 
> here in Real Life, right?

Oh yes!

>      [Yes, of course they do.  They remember the six foot tall Totoro 
> plushies in _Legion of Occult Heroes_ #2 - Footnote Girl]

Ohhhhhhh yes.

>      "Back to the grindstone," lamented YNHMHELad as he started to get 
> up off the sofa, when a vicious little old lady appeared at the door 
> to the rec.room and asked, "Have you boys heard the good news that 
> wReamicus Maximus brings you chaos and confusion?"

This felt a bit abrupt.  Prolly should've been two paragraphs.

>      Since this story has been split in half (oh please, let it only be 
> big enough to be split in half...)

MWAHAHAHA.  We need a Story Sprawl Beast.

>      By contrast ARAK II comes from an even more violent orc culture, but 
> he's lost interest in violence as a social tool.  At least at the moment 
> he's far more enamoured of outthinking his opponents.  This is because 
> he's a fan of _Doctor Who_, and is an advocate of the interpretation that 
> the series is rare among action-adventure programmes in that it has a 
> protagonist who should belong to the Hero archetype, but instead belongs 
> to the Trickster archetype.

Oooooh. Innerestin'.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, who agrees with that last.

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