LNH/HCC: Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #48 [HCC29]
pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu May 3 00:45:34 PDT 2012
On Wed, 2 May 2012 09:46:15 +0000 (UTC), Saxon Brenton wrote:
>|| Cover shows Nitpick Lad looking up from a clipboard and saying,
>|| "This post contains the first half of this story. Despite promises
>|| made to the HCC29 adjudicator that he would complete his entry if
>|| he could only beg, borrow or illicitly clone a 48 hour extension,
>|| *someone* got too wrapped up in writing the villains' dialogue and
>|| ended up making the story longer.
Wonk wonk waaaaa~
> Fortunately the LNH imprint is in continuity with pretty much
> everything, so, yeah, in a fit of spite Psychovant had sent the Apathy
> Beast chasing after his own Writer over in the Superhuman World imprint.
> Some characters just cannot get on with their creators.
I'm just glad I'm not Paladin of Continuity for the mainline, is all I'm
> "Heya, Retcon Lad," said Anal-Retentive Archive Kid cheerfully.
> "I see you've met my replacement, Anal-Retentive Archive Kid II."
> ARAK I tended to wear the same sort
> of clothing, of course, saving his official costume of figure-hugging
> metastable weave for those occasions when he'd need something bullet
> proof. He'd been wearing his costume when he'd fought the Apathy Beast
> for example.
Hmmmmm. What's it look like? *yoinks description for wiki* *gets
distracted tracking down all his appearances*
> "What do you mean, 'What am I going to do about it?'? I'm going to
> let my replacement handle it, and then when it *doesn't* blow up in his
> face like Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy expects, I'm going to radiate vast
> amounts of smug."
> "No. I mean..." and then Retcon Lad waggled his fingers in a
> 'mysterious occult power' type of way.
That's adorable. XD
> Retcon Lad shook his head. "Knowing that all the elements will be
> there to solve a puzzle if, and only if, you're smart enough to put them
> together is totally different from knowing you'll solve it by fate
> accompli." He snapped his fingers. "There. That should fix it."
> ARAK II said nothing, merely giving Retcon Lad a droll look and a
> raised eyebrow.
Oh, Joe. You're a bit full of yourself.
> I suppose we'd better get some villains into this story.
> The first one capered on the spot. "Ha ha! What mischief shall
> we three do again, In thunder, lightning or in rain?"
> The second Space Dvandom gave him a dope slap. "It's not raining,
> "Ow! Prithee, nunckle. I am but trying to be suitably portentous."
You know, I totally want to get whoever's the current reincarnation of
Shakespeare doing LNH stories. I bet they'd be really good.
> [_Birth Of A Villain_ #27 indicated that wReamicus Maximus controlled
> the Space Dvandoms. The information that they think he is their creator
> is new to this story - Footnote Girl]
They actually come from a planet that's half-phased into another imprint.
> "Ha ha! Yes, yes!" cackled the first Space Dvandom, who rubbed his
> hands together in a melodramatically villainous manner and declaimed,
> "We shall sow chaos and confusion in the name of the Church of Dvandom,
> and its leader, the great wReamicus Maximus... Ow!"
> "Don't keep expositing information that we already know."
Especially when it's taken care of in the narration!
> "Hello there, sir," one of them said. "Have you heard the good
> news that the literary works mistakenly attributed to Shakespeare have
> been proven to have been really written by Sir Francis Bacon?" The
> Space Dvandom did not reply, instead duplicating the form of the young
> man. As he did so his victim vanished, being cast into Comic Book Limbo.
Just what such a person deserves. >:/
> "Ah, okay. Well, he did kind of go through a rough patch because
> of what happened in the _Flame Wars 4_, so not feeling quite as social
> is to be expected, I guess.
"Rough patch". That's one term for it.
> Perhaps it was the case that
> Retcon Lad didn't feel comfortable sharing too much of ARAK's personal
> information to an unknown newcomer. Perhaps ARAK had kept a lot of his
> personal information to himself. Perhaps perhaps perhaps... But there
> was at least one other possibility that Anal-Retentive Archive Kid II
> could think of that might bear investigation. He'd have to talk with
> Cheesecake-Eater Lad about that.
Well, he's certainly following in ARAK's footsteps when it comes to
> So, _Blackadder_, season five. You all know that in the Looniverse
> they have all sorts of neat pop culture stuff that we can only dream of
> here in Real Life, right?
> [Yes, of course they do. They remember the six foot tall Totoro
> plushies in _Legion of Occult Heroes_ #2 - Footnote Girl]
> "Back to the grindstone," lamented YNHMHELad as he started to get
> up off the sofa, when a vicious little old lady appeared at the door
> to the rec.room and asked, "Have you boys heard the good news that
> wReamicus Maximus brings you chaos and confusion?"
This felt a bit abrupt. Prolly should've been two paragraphs.
> Since this story has been split in half (oh please, let it only be
> big enough to be split in half...)
MWAHAHAHA. We need a Story Sprawl Beast.
> By contrast ARAK II comes from an even more violent orc culture, but
> he's lost interest in violence as a social tool. At least at the moment
> he's far more enamoured of outthinking his opponents. This is because
> he's a fan of _Doctor Who_, and is an advocate of the interpretation that
> the series is rare among action-adventure programmes in that it has a
> protagonist who should belong to the Hero archetype, but instead belongs
> to the Trickster archetype.
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, who agrees with that last.
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