REPOST/LNH: The Mid.Net Star's 20th Anniversary Special!

[Andrew Perron]

On Fri, 2 Mar 2012 19:16:52 +0000 (UTC), Arthur Spitzer wrote:

> Most of this was written when I was still in high school -- so naturally 
> it is way better than any of the stuff I currently write.  :)

Interesting!  Let's see how it goes. <3

> That risk was on Bobo the manic 
> depressive-necrophiliac-nazi-jewish-muslim-fundamentalist satanic 
> christian-lesbian-environmentalist Pat Sajak worshipping republican 
> vegetarian chimpanzee whose goal was to make humanity cringe at his feet.

I don't think I like the New 52 version of Gorilla Grodd.

> In fact it was Bobo's (or Lord of All Gods as he likes to be called) 
> idea to create this long commercialized needless special to celebrate 
> our fifth anniversary.  He even came up with the idea of changing the 
> name from 'The Mid.Net Star's 5th Anniversary Special' to 'The Mid.Net 
> Star's 20th Anniversary Special' to ensure a larger audience.

Ah, I see. XD

> "But just as I was about to turn this squish.. err I mean Miss Fenny 
> into toe jam I see her doing some poking with a rod and a piece of 
> fabric and I'm curious you see so I ask her what she's doing.  Well 
> she's shocked at first you know screaming and stuff.. but after awhile 
> we're eating.. what she calls.. biscuits.. sipping tea she's telling me 
> about her son who ran off with a tattoo artist to San Francisco.. I'm 
> telling her about how I led an assault team to a planet and completely 
> annihilated a bunch of kiwi like people.. She's teaching me crocheting.. 
> I'm teaching her how to get the blood and flesh off metal with out 
> ruining the paint job.. And let me tell you .. I'm having the time of my 
> life!  I mean this crocheting is great!  I finally feel at peace with 
> myself."

I support bringing back this character!

> "Well afterwards we both had a laugh, and talked about how these damn 
> nature boys are destroying our great economy.  And you know what?  It 
> turns out that Lil Ollie's, that's what we call him you know after the 
> soon to be greatest next senator of this US of A, entire civilization 
> used to live in my family's cereal box before it was wiped out by some 
> type of radiation which bestowed him with his incredible powers.  And 
> well this is now obviously an attempt by those damn liberals in trying 
> to label our great American nuclear program as possibly being dangerous 
> by killing an entire civilization of Limbaugh listeners.  I just thank 
> God that Ollie talked to me before he became seduced by those Commie 
> Democrats."

Interesting.  I must wonder how much of this is canon!

> It is mine an 
> Ollie's opinion that if you were to take off Hector Lopez's mask that 
> you would find none other than AL GORE!"

GASP! ...wait, we all love Al Gore now.

> When asked about why the picture looks more like Mr. Valdez in shiny 
> armor with a blue cape than in does Tsar Chasm, he replied, "Obvious 
> mind control on his part to make it look like I'm lying to you.  This is 
> all his masterplan though and really why would I lie to you."  Unable to 
> find flaw in Mr. Valdez's logic the Mid.Net Star left it at that.

Oddly enough, I could totally see him doing it. (Man, Ken's Tsar Chasm
stories rocked.  I'd love to have him around again...)

> So I'm watching 
> this bastard drink the last Mr. Paprika.  Does he say, "Now, that's a 
> man's Pop!"  No he just kind of drinks it like it means nothing.  Like 
> it's an ordinary soft drink!

SACRELIGE! *hoists torch and pitchfork*

> I mean really who would have wReam validate parking tickets, but 
> it started to get out of hand maybe four validated tickets per day.  And 
> we just want to make it clear to the folks out there that having wReam 
> validate your parking ticket is not only a bad idea, but it's also 
> against the law."

CHAOS REIGNS

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, good clean goofy fun.