SW10/HCC: Superhuman World 2011: The Element of Surprise

[Scott Eiler]

On 2/23/2012 12:34 PM, Andrew Perron wrote:
> On Thu, 23 Feb 2012 02:32:32 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:
>
>> On 2/22/2012 6:39 AM, Andrew Perron wrote:
>
>>> Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, sometimes one forgets to tell the
>>> readers what one already knows.
>>
>> Actually, my problem was that I'd chosen a viewpoint character who was
>> inflicting the surprise, not one who was receiving it.  He'd have to
>> learn about the surprise's reception from a news analysis.  No reason he
>> can't do that on the rewrite, of course...
>
> Ahhhhh, indeed.  Excellently-analyzed.

Well, then.  You can now judge the rewrite at 
http://www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/page.php?fn=surprise.txt if you 
have that much spare time.  I will admit, it's just tweaks.

> Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, I want candy.

Don't we all?

-- 
(signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------

Turns out I'm an anally-fixated oedipal paranoid with 
south-of-the-border schizophrenic delusions...  But never mind, I've 
found me the ideal job.  I'm going to run for President!

- Major Honey, scripted by Grant Morrison (that's *Mister* Morrison to 
you), Doom Patrol #46, August 1991.