LNH20: Ultimate Mercenary v20 #4

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Aug 1 23:57:56 PDT 2012

On Thu, 2 Aug 2012 05:10:05 +0000 (UTC), Adrian J. McClure wrote:

Yoinking my comments off the Author's Group to share with all!

On Wed, Aug 1, 2012 at 12:35 AM, Adrian J. McClure
<mrfantastic7 at gmail.com> wrote:

> It was a
> little eerie, though, to visit the cafeteria and see not a single
> cheesecake.

The day no cheesecakes were baked--!

> Ultimate Mercenary nervously sat down beside her. Absorbed in her breakfast,
> she didn't seem to notice him at first. He looked at her, unsure of how to
> start the conversation. She noticed him, looked into the eyes, and said
> nothing. They warily eyed each other for a few moments that seemed to
> stretch out forever.
> Then the silence was broken by a blueberry pie that whacked Ultimate
> Mercenary right in the face.

Mmmm, comedic undercut. <3

> He realized that whoever it was hadn't intended to
> hit him; he was just collateral damage. No one here cared enough yet to
> antagonize him for his own sake. Well, he'd make them care.

It's interesting how this makes UM look kind of hilariously pathetic.
But, y'know, in an appropriate way? ^^;

> "Good work," said Ultimate Mercenary. "I think we can take the rest of them
> out together, and then we'll face each other. Deal?"
> Pantra grinned. "Deal." They launched into battle together, staining the
> clothes and wounding the pride of many of their teammates. It was the most
> fun Ultimate Mercenary had had in a battle since... well, maybe it was the
> only time he'd ever had fun in a battle.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiigh* <3

> "We'll show him one day, right, Pantra?" But Pantra seemed to have
> forgotten about the whole fight and was licking the food off her fur.

Wonk wonk~

> "Well, I'm going out on a mission and I thought you might want to come along
> and observe. It should be pretty simple. It might help you settle in a bit
> and see how things are done here."
> He found himself smiling. At last, something was going right! He'd finally
> get a chance to show them his courage and heroism.

UM is really moodswingy here. XD Not that that's not appropriate.

> "I guess so," said Ultimate Mercenary. He hurried back to his own room and
> stepped into the shower. He checked carefully to see if there was anyone
> around and slowly and hesitantly checked around to see if there were any
> attackers. He gradually peeled off his costume and let the water wash into
> his skin, sloughing off the tension, nervousness, and excitement he'd built
> up over the last few days and leaving him, momentarily, at peace.

You're just casually putting all kinds of character bits in here, aren't

> "Never hurts to try something different sometimes. So what do you want, Hot
> Stuff Lass?"

I still love that

> Pantra blinked. "Who was he again? Oh yeah. The ninja kid." She smiled. "I
> can't wait for the rematch."
> "I've noticed that you seem to have taken an interest in him."
> "What? Oh, yeah. He's fun to play with."

I also love how *thoroughly* catlike she is. Hopefully I'll get a
chance to write her soon.

> "Advances? You mean--" She smirked, licking her lips. "Yeah, that might be
> fun too. Maybe it'd help him loosen up a little bit. Thanks for suggesting
> it!"


> He carefully picked up the letter and, opened it. It didn't explode. It was
> written on stationary bordered by vines, which after some examination he
> recognized as belonging to nigella damascena, love-in-the-mist.


Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, metametameta

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