LNH: Where are they now?

Martin Phipps martinphipps2 at yahoo.com
Wed Apr 4 05:24:24 PDT 2012

Rob wondered what Net.Heroes are retired?  Of course, this was for a
story set in 2007/2008.  Nobody was retired because Beige Countdown
was going on.  However, when Beige Midnight is over, we need to
account for four (at least) missing years (2008-2012).  What have our
heroes been up to?

Adamant Authority-on-Everything ran a failed campaign to secure the
nomination of the Republican Party.  Having failed to obtain any
delegates in New Hampshire, Adamant Authority-on-Everything dropped
out but still held out hopes for a successful candidacy in 2016.  "My
policies are what is right for America!" he was quoted as saying.
"The American people just needs time to realize this!"

All-Knowing Last-Chance Whiner Destiny Woman used her powers to win
the Net.ropolis State Lottery but then foresaw a future in which she
grew old alone without any friends because all the friends that she
had acquired in the meantime abandoned her when the money ran out.
She decided to give it all to various charities for disaster relief.
(Again,she used her powers to pick the best ones.)

Anything-You-Can-Do-I-Can-Do-Better Lad became a star on various
reality TV shows including So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol,
Top Chef and Project Runway.  He was consistently the first person
voted out due to his lack of originality.

Captain Continuity served briefly as the Leader of the LNH during
which time he traveled back in time to meet Continuity Champ in
Cry.sig and cause him to get the mistaken impression that he was the
future version of Continuity Champ himself and not Continuity Champ
Junior.  No, seriously, this has probably happened already.

Deja Dude is NOT looking at porn.  Deja Dude is typing this.

Doctor Stomper was able to secure a tenured position at Net.ropolis
University and thus is Professor Stomper.  Of course, this does not
preclude him being a member of the LNH when called upon in an

Frat Boy.  I didn't ask.  He didn't tell.

Girl Watcher IS looking at porn.  Because that's his power.

Hooded Ho`'od Win is making a point of not going out at night because,
according to Geraldo Rivera, her fashion choice is such that people in
the neighborhood where she lives are likely to get nervous and
possibly even shoot her down in cold blood.

Irony Man took time out from the LNH to promote the Irony Man movie
franchise which is about to release its third film.  In this one, he
teams up with Ultimate Ninja, Kid Kirby, Catalyst Lass, Master Blaster
and a hulking, raging Deja Dude against Psykeye and his army of the

Master Blaster, Sister-State the Obvious, Innovative Offense Boy,
Ordinary Lady, Browsing Boy, Linguist Lass, Cheese-Cake Eater Lad and
aLLiterative Lass all got married back in 2001 in Cute Anna #2.
Pocket Man and Organic Lass were married in 1994.  I'm going to assume
there are kids.  In fact, that was the premise of Generation Zed #1
which was set in 2015.

Procrastination Boy, Super Apathy Lad and Time Waster Lad are as
active in the LNH as ever.  Of course, that would be true even if they
had retired by now.


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