SW10: Summer of Discontent #5: The Strike

Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Oct 3 12:01:31 PDT 2011

On Oct 2, 9:17 pm, Scott Eiler <sei... at eilertech.com> wrote:

> Major Paul S. Terry, U.S. Navy - Retired, was in his rowboat on Saranac
> Lake that morning as usual.  The Trillions had landed there last year.
> But he'd been fishing there long before that.  No reason to stop now.
> For some reason, the constant humming of the spaceship attracted the fish.

Ooooh.  This is a nice bit of scene-setting and atmosphere.

> Major Terry rowed his ship near the shore, nearest the mile-tall
> spaceship of The Trillions.  Then he said in a voice not his own, "It is
> time."
> Another body came out from his!  It was Ellipsis!

..."came out?"  I think I'd like more details here, because otherwise,
I get mental images that are just a touch disturbing!

> The Mighty Tim disappeared in his burst of flame, carrying one Asian
> guy.

*gasp* Not an Asian guy!

> Then the sky came back!  The people's howling died down.
> Mighty Tim asked, "Is that it?"
> The Bride said, "Yes.  *New* new orbit."

While I seriously do like the limited perspective most of your stories
are written in, I feel like this bit really needed to be from the
Bride's POV.  It's the climax of the entire storyline, after all, and
it happens offscreen.

> The Mighty Tim joined in.  "It'll still be a little cold.  We'll find
> out whether that's a good cure for Global Warming, or not quite good
> enough for Global Cooling.  Maybe we can fix it later.  But President
> Obama's ready to take the blame either way.  He says he's used to being
> hated for his compromise solutions.  But yeah, I supported this compromise."

Hah, indeed!

> The Earth's trajectory had indeed been changed.  Earth's orbit would now
> be 372.5 days, with closest approach to the sun at Earth's old orbit
> again, on the 23rd of July 2011.

Interesting.  A wider ellipse.

> Phew.  Finally.  It may not be perfect, but I'm definitely done writing it.


Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, the woo-est.

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