MISC: One Day at a Time #9
pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Feb 16 16:35:48 PST 2011
Chapter 9: Okay, an actual cast round up.
(Unfortunately, this includes John.)
[ The cover shows a shot from over the back of Mike's head. He's
looking at Victor Montague, sitting at his desk and looking back. ]
Robertson: Man, I love coffee.
Mike: [To Sir Greg and The Arch Mage] Man, I love doing that.
Sir Greg: So where's your master?
Robertson: Oh, "him?" He's doing paperwork. Like normal people.
Sir Greg: By the sound of that, you don't seem to like him.
Robertson: Not really, no.
Sir Greg: So, besides being the deputy - which I'm assuming you are -
why do you put up with his shit?
Robertson: Well, don't we have the potty mouth. To be honest, it's
because I feel bad for him.
Sir Greg: What do you mean?
Robertson: See, before a certain case, he was just a normal police
officer. Since then, he hasn’t been the same. In fact, he seems to have
developed this "Super Cop" personality because of it.
Sir Greg: Jeez, what happened?
Robertson: You don't want to know. Anyway, you came here to see him?
Mike: Was wondering if you guys would remember us.
The Arch Mage: I'm used to it.
SFX: *Robertson knocking on the door*
Victor Montague: Who is it?
Sir Greg: Those three Plumbers you asked for.
Victor Montague: That's funny, I don't remember asking for any
Mike: That’s because you didn't. [enters the room] We came over here
because we wanted to.
Victor Montague: Ah, good, you're here. Can you sign these?
Mike: What are they?
Victor Montague: They're papers that basically make you an official
part of the force.
The Arch Mage: Hey, Mike. Can I talk to you for a sec?
The Arch Mage: Do you think this is a good idea?
Mike: Why not? Being on the side of the law could really help us.
The Arch Mage: But what if we do something unlawful?
Mike: Then we'd better have a good reason.
The Arch Mage: …All right, I guess I’ll go with it for now.
Mike: Right. Now then, where are those contracts?
Victor Montague: I didn't say they were contracts.
Mike: Whatever, just give me a pen.
Announcer: Some soul-binding later...
Victor Montague: Okay, here are your badges, I assume you still have
yours, Mike. And your cards for reading the Miranda rights off of.
Mike: Hey, thanks for not giving me that when I needed it.
Victor Montague: Well, to be fair, we were trying to track you down
Mike: Hey, by the way, are these bugged too?
The Arch Mage and Sir Greg: *look at the back of their badges*
Victor Montague: No. That was dishonest, and cops shouldn't act that
way. I should be a better example to my men.
Mike: Yeah, that was kind of a dick move.
Victor Montague: Now, there's someone I'd like you to meet. He's in the
evidence room right now.
Sir Greg: Why?
Victor Montague: You'll see.
*From one location to another, it's a scene transition! A Scene
Transition! MOTHERFUCKING SCENE TRANSITION!*
Mike: Why was that hallway so long?
Victor Montague: The architect was paid more the more he did. Anyway,
WE ARE HERE!
Sir Greg: Bit dramatic, aren't we?
Victor Montague: If you'd seen what's behind this door, you would want
to be dramatic too.
Sir Greg: That door sounded weir-- oh, hello.
Some guy: Hello! [head falls off] Oh, not again.
Mike: So who's the fellow who keeps losing his head?
Some guy's head: Edmund Crumpleston, Mr. Kitty.
Mike: It's Kittyman.
Victor Montague: He's a victim of the floating man.
Mike: Really? Interesting. [thinking] That could have been me losing my
head all the time. I guess I should thank the voice sometime.
Roberson: Hey, hate to interrupt this love-in here, but there’s some
sort of emergency happening uptown. So we better get on that.
Victor Montague: Ah, well then. Are you ready for your first official
Mike: Of course.
The Arch Mage: Ready as I'll ever be.
Sir Greg: You can count on me!
Edmund Crumpleston: What about me? [arm falls off] Awww.
Victor Montague: Alrighty then. Let's roll!
Sir Greg: Seriously? You're going with that?
Victor Montague: What, what's wrong with it?
Sir Greg: It's very worn out.
Mike: We'll think about a catch phrase later. Right now, EMERGENCY!
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