LNH/ACRA: Untold Tales of the Looniverse #4

[Tarq]

On Mar 5, 1:45 am, Martin Phipps <martinphip... at yahoo.com> wrote:
>              Politically Correct Space Wars  
>
>                  Episode 3: A New Dope

I loved it. The only thing that could have made it any better was if
you had all six episodes. I admit to have being a bit thrown when I
saw the Episodes 2, 3 and 4 titles as being ripped off 3, 4 and 6,
respectively.

>   "Happiness is not for Straidis."
>   "It is for me!"  Anarchin sliced PC Wan in two.
> "Damn that felt good!"

I liked that. Y'know, they never actually mention it in the books or
movies, that Anakin wants to be happy. It's all "Rargh, I want to save
the galaxy by being fascist!"

>   BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>   "Alright!" Puke said.  "Who's the man?  Who's the
> man?"
>   "Obnoxious asshole," the rebel leader muttered.

That is so much better than gratitude any day. Seriously.

>   "Okay.  My bad."  PC Wan's ghostly form hung his
> head in shame.

I just have this image of Obi-Wan hanging his head, and sort of
swinging his leg at the ground guiltily. With a really whiney kids
voice. "It's not my fault! I didn't know! It's not fair!" Heh heh heh.

>   "This!" Seriously Pissed Off Guy said and, true to
> his name, he stood up and ran up to the Emperor and
> hit him in the head so hard that his head came right
> off.

I really like what you did there. There's probably a literary term for
it, but the use of the "he stood up AND ran up to the Emperor AND hit
him in the head", all those 'ands' give it a distinctive comedic feel.
Also, hitting him "in the head so hard that his head came right off"
seems so ludicrously impossible and silly that it just builds on and
emphasizes the humour from the "and and" bit, making this quite
possibly my one of my favourite paragraphs I have ever read. It's just
so... nonsensical.

>   "This armour.  It's more than just armour: it was
> providing me with life support.  It was keeping me
> alive."
>   "So?"
>   "So you shorted it out when you cut off my hand."
>   "Oops.  My bad."

Snap.

>   Puke though for a moment.  "This... this is _so_
> wrong."
>   Princess Layher smiled.  "But so _very_ right."

Gargh! Martin, I didn't know that you... I didn't think that you...
but that's so... it feels like Tasmania. Or whatever your American
equivalent of Tasmania is. Philadelphia??

Despite the unnerving ending, it's a great read, especially for a
complete Star Wars geek such as myself. Speaking of which, I am
currently six days behind continuity, what with the release of Legacy
of the Force: Exile on February 27th and my local bookstores complete
lack of stock. It eats at me so.

~Mitchell.