[REVIEW] End of Month Reviews #45 - September 2007 [spoilers]

[Tom Russell]

On Dec 9, 10:01 pm, Martin Phipps <martinphip... at yahoo.com> wrote:
>  I thought the action sequence with Fusion fighting the
> Extreme clones, passing through the portal, killing the Super Soldier
> and then facing Extreme himself was probably one of the best action
> sequences I've written, probably the only action sequence I've ever
> written that didn't have characters simply pairing off against each
> other and talking all the way through the fight.  I couldn't
> understand what it was you didn't like about that scene: it made a lot
> of sense for the detectives to get involved after the fact because
> there were actual bodies to examine.

Well, it's been a while since I've read that one, so feel free to
correct me if I've got it wrong here.

But the biggest problem I had with the big superheroy action scene in
the context of your series is that it _does_ sideline what should,
nominally, be the focus.  It'd be like an episode of LAW & ORDER
opening with a ten minute gunfight between gangsters, and THEN the
cops show up.

I think I'd rather have the cops arrive on the scene with the action
already having taken place.  Now, that doesn't work in the context of
your storyline, IIRC.  I just think, perhaps, that it was the wrong
storyline for the series you were writing.  Of course, you would be a
better judge than I of that. :-)

One other thing, and that's that there were no real stakes involved in
the action scene.  Sure, fate of the world is in the balance, et
cetera, but since I didn't really care about any of the participants
in the fight, most of the superhero action in SUPERFREAKS had no real
stakes for me.  I don't care if the Extreme Force Five is facing their
worst enemy, because I don't care about the Extreme Force Five.  I
care about the cops and the prosecutors, and Edward and Mary moreso
than the rest.  Putting them in danger all the time, though, would
very quickly run its course.

I say just concentrate on investigations and dialogue.  Put less work
into the action scenes and more into the kind of plotting that shows
off the investigative skills or legal brilliance of your protagonists
and gives them a reason to spout great dialogue.

But that's just my two cents.

==Tom