[LNH] [RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #8

[Andrew Perron]

"What the--" said Catalyst Lass confusedly.

Ultimate Ninja had had enough. "Turn the master of Western Culture's
Conception Of Ninjutsu into a stick figure, will you?" he shouted,
pulled out what looked like a long black line, and rushed at Pointless
Awards Man III (AKA the disguised, hypnotized Saxon Brenton).  And
slid right past, passing directly through the dueling
presentation-hosts.

"Our two-dimensional nature is keeping us from affecting them," said
Doctor Stomper, represented by a stick figure holding a beaker of
bubbling fluid.

"Of course," muttered Ultimate Ninja, sheating his not-a-ninjato.
"Well then, doctor, can you tell us who, exactly, this new enemy is?"

"By his costume, I'd say he's Pointless Awards Man III.  Who *that*
is, I couldn't say."

"I'll used my X-ray goggles to see his secret identity!" chirruped the
short stick figure once known as Kid Enthusiastic.  He raised a pair
of circles to his eyes. "Oh my god!"

"What!?"

"It's... some guy I've never heard of!"

"Give me thaaaaat!" Ultimate Ninja snatched away the goggles, and
stared. "Hmmmm, a very detailed face... in fact..." He lowered the
goggles. "Doctor... what does that look like to you?"

Doctor Stomper looked. "It looks... why, that looks like someone from
the world of the Authors."

Ultimate Ninja nodded.  If he had a face at this point, it would be
set in grim resolution. "Not just someone... Saxon Brenton."

A collective gasp arose from the assembled ranks of LNHers.

"But Authors can't enter this world except through the medium of
Writer Characters," said Deja Dude. "Pointless Awards Man III is
Saxon's WC?"

"Not quite," said Doctor Stomper. "In that case, he'd appear perfectly
normal to us.  No, I belive he isn't *quite* Saxon Brenton, the
Author; rather, he is Saxon's dimensional duplicate from Real Life
Minus One."

"Of course!  The Looniversal equivalent of Earth-Prime; a world
similar to the 'real' world, but accessible by fictional characters!"

"Exactly."

"But how did he get here?" asked Ultimate Ninja darkly. "Why is he
dressed as Pointless Awards Man III?  Where did he get those powers?"

"I don't know," replied Doctor Stomper. "But what I do know is: If we
can't stop him... Pointless Awards Man II will die!"

"...again!"

---===#===---

Kid Antibacterial shuddered, as he watched the fate of his teammates
from the Monitor Room.  They were in trouble... but what could he do?
Being the child of a cyborg clone of New Look Lass, a time-travelling
clone of Captain Cleanup, and a superevolved clone of Convoluted
Origin Man was pleasant enough, and having the ability to produce all
manner of dirt-fighting products out of thin air was nice... but he
didn't have the *power* to stop this villain!  If only...

"Do you need power?" whispered a voice in his ear.

Kid Antibacterial leapt to his feet. "Who--"

"I can give you power." The voice was behind him.

"...what do you mean?"

"Power.  Power to save your friends.  Power to stop your enemies.  And
I only need one thing..."

"..."

---===#===---

"Manga Man, can you use your powers on their highly stylized samurai
swords?"

"I've been trying for the last five minutes, but--"

"No need to worry!" And in screamed a ball of flame, that resolved
into a young boy with a flaming skull for a head, his body wreathed in
flames that emanated from his shoes.

"Kid Antibacterial?  What--"

"Not anymore!" And he struck a pose. "I'm Firewire!  And you..." he
pointed at Saxon/PAM III. "Are toast!"

---===#===---

The shoe devil cackled.  His plans were coming to frutition...

---===#===---

HOW did the Grapety Purple Man steal Saxon from his world?
WHAT did the shoe devil ask for?
WHEN will we get back to that thing about the virus and the RACCies?

To be answered (maybe not) in the next issue of Just Imagine Saxon
Brenton's RACCies!

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, excelsior!