[LNHY] Looniverse Y #4

phippsmartin at hotmail.com phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Sun Jan 30 05:55:47 PST 2005

On one hand, the plot of the consortium of
supervillains had been a complete failure: the Before
Satan Guy had been defeated by Swell Boy, SAGneto had
been defeated by the combined forces of the Deadly
Serious Squad and the Teen Fascists, Dir.mandu had
been defeated by God, I.sig had been defeated by
Doctor Peculiar and the All Bad, Even Worse World's
Worst Heroes had successfully managed to rescue the
original World's Worst Heroes from Doctor Apocalypse's
prison on Apocalypse Island.

On the other hand, the plot had been a complete
success for Mr. Serious had successfully managed to
kill Google.mesh.

Looniverse Y #4: Extinction of Vengence, Chapter Six

Martin Wryce had come home and found the dopor to
his apartment open and Google.mesh's lifeless body on
the floor.  He prudently called an ambulence only to
have his friend, roommate and supposed ancestor
declared dead at the scene.  Instead of being taken to
the hospital, Google.mesh was taken directly to the

The police arrived later to question Martin.  Their
first question was whether Google.mesh had any
enemies.  What was Martin supposed to say?  That his
five thousand year old ex-wife had been out to kill
him?  Martin said he didn't know and hoped that nobody
else would contradict him.

It wasn't until late in the evening, after everybody
else had left Martin alone, that Doctor Peculiar
arrived at his door.

"I'm sorry," Doctor Peculiar said.  "I know it's
late.  Am I disturbing you?"

"Not really," Martin said.

"I'm Doctor Stephan Peculiar," he said.  "I'm here
about your friend, Google.mesh."

"You're too late," Martin said.  "He's dead."

"Oh I know he's dead," Doctor Peculiar said, "but I
don't think it is too late to save him."

"What do you mean?" Martin asked.

"I'm saying that we can still save him."

"How?" Martin asked.  "He's dead.  What are you
suggesting we do?"

"I am suggesting," Doctor Peculiar said, "that we
travel to Hell and bring back his soul."

"Seriousl?" Martin asked.

Doctor Peculiar nodded.

"But why would Google.mesh have gone to Hell in the
first place?" Martin asked.  "He was a good man."

"He was a nephalim," Doctor Peculiar said, "and as
such he was condemned to Hell."

Martin was crestfallen.  "In that case, we should
leave him to his fate.  We should not go against the
will of God."

"If good men do nothing, is that the will of God?"
Doctor Peculiar asked.  "Google.mesh's time had not
come: he was murdered in cold blood before I could
save him.  He may not be welcome in Heaven but we can
see to it that he doesn't spend the rest of eternity
in Hell."

"Alright," Martin said.  "I'm in."

"Good," Doctor Peculiar said.  "We can now join the

"The others?"

Doctor Peculiar didn't answer because he had already
begun his incantation.  "By the Hairy Hosts of
Hogwarts, I say that I and you travel from here to LNH
HQ!"  Just like that, Martin and Doctor Peculiar
appeared in LNH HQ.

"Are we ready?" Doctor Peculiar asked.

"READY!" Exclamation Master said.

"I'm ready," Van Hel.sig said.

"Let's go!" Kid Kicked Out said.

"By the Hairy Hosts of Hogwarts," Doctor Peculiar
said, "I, Martin and the LNH as well shall all travel
from here to Hell!"

Of course, in terms of plot, including the LNH
serves no purpose to advancing the story, but their
presense did make for a pretty cool two page spread of
our heroes, especially with martin having already
transformed into Megametal Blastlord.  This two page
spread will soon be available as a full sized poster
at a store near you, kids, so order early before it
sells out.

"What now?" Martin asked.

"Now we seek an audience with Satan," Doctor
Peculiar said.

"Satan?" Kid Kicked Out asked.  "We're going to meet

Just then Satan appeared.

"IT'S SATAN!" Exclamation Master said.

"Yeah," Van Hel.sig said, "it's the Dark Lord

"What do you want?" Satan asked.

"We are here to retrieve the soul of Google.mesh,
"Doctor Peculiar said.

"And what possible reason could I have for giving
his soul to you?" Satan asked.

Just then, Jesus Christ appeared, holding
Bee.gzip.bub in a head lock.  "Perhaps so your
favorite son won't have his neck broken."

"And you, Prince of Love, will break his neck?"
Satan asked.

"Sure," Jesus said, "after all, it won't kill him,
but it sure will hurt like, well, this place!"

"Please, father!" Bee.gzip.bub said.  "Do as he
asks!  PleasePleasePleasePleasePlease!"

"Enough with your whining, Bee.gzip.bub!"  the
Prince of Darkness said.  "Very well, I shall grant
your request, to a point: it will be up to you to
actually revive him!"

"So be it!"  Doctor Peculiar said.  "By the Hairy
Hosts of Hogwarts, may the lifeless body of
Google.mesh appear here in Hell amongst us!"  Thus was
Google.mesh's body brought from the morgue in
Net.ropolis down to Hell.

Satan pointed to Google.mesh and then calmly said,
"It is done.  His soul has been returned to him."

"He still looks dead," Martin observed.

"That's where I come in," Jesus said as he released
Bee.gzip.bub.  "Don't worry.  I've done this before."
Jesus reached down and touched Google.mesh's lifeless
body.  Suddenly, Google.mesh started coughing.

"It's alive!  It's alive!"  Jesus laughed.  "Sorry!
I've always wanted to say that."

Google.mesh opened his eyes and took a look around.
"Oh no," he said, "I've died and gone to Hell!"

"So you have," Jesus said, "but it's okay: we'll
take you back to Looniearth with us!"

"By the Hoary Hosts of Hogwarts," Doctor Peculiar
said, "we shall return from here beneath back to the
place we call Looniearth!"

They all vanished leaving Bee.gzip.bub alone with
Satan.  "Thanks, Dad!" he said.

Satan reached down and grabbed his son's neck and
snapped it.

"OwOwOwOw!" Bee.gzip.bub said, holding his broken
neck in place.

Meanwhile, back on Looniearth, at the World Mansion...

"I'm happy to see you all having returned safe and
sound," Leroy Laurel said to the World's Worst Heroes.

"Thanks!" said Cryalot.

He then specifically addressed the All Bad, Even
Worse, World's Worst Heroes.  "The rest of you can go
home now.  Thanks for your help."

"What?" Worserine said.  "Just like that?"

"They've earned their place in the World's Worst
Heroes," Pathetic Girl argued.  "They saved us!"

"Alright, fine," Leroy said.  "They can stay aand be
your replacements and the rest of you can go."

"That is not acceptable either," said Stone.

"It's all of us or none of us, Leroy!" Sighalot

"Great!" Leroy said.  "What am I going to do with
fourteen losers?"



Martin Wryce / Megametal Blastlord, Bee.gzip.bub,
Jesus and Exclamation Master created by Saxon Brenton.

The name Doctor Apocalypse suggested by Rob Rogers.

All other characters created by Arthur Spitzer and
Martin Phipps


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