[LNH/LNH2] LNH Forever #4 (of 4)
phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Thu May 20 01:27:04 PDT 2004
"Let me see if I've got this straight."
At LNH HQ, in the year 2004, four Legionaires, Ultimate Ninja, Irony Man,
Doctor Stomper and Captain Continity, were hosting for Legionaires from the
year 2020, Deja Dude II, N, Intuition Girl and Swiss Mouse. Ultimate Ninja
"The four of you are from the future?"
"That's right," Deja Dude II told him.
"The year 2020?"
"And in the year 2020, you are members of the LNH?"
"The LNH is a truly global organisation in the year 2020," N explained,
"spread out over three continents!"
"And you've come back in time in pursuit of criminal from your time?"
"I traced him to this time period," Deja Dude II explained. "He's
somewhere in the area of Net.York, or at least he was when he arrived by
"What exactly did he do?" Ultimate Ninja asked.
"He killed Timo!" a tearful Swiss Mouse said.
"Who was Timo?" Irony Man asked.
"Timo was our teammate!"
"This man killed a Legionaire?" Irony Man asked.
"Actually, Timo was a parrot," N told him.
"He was still our teammate!" Swiss Mouse insisted.
"He blew up LNH Europe Headquarters," Deja Dude II explained. "Timo was
inside at the time. He didn't make it."
"I see," Ultimate Ninja said. "I understand how you must feel. You are
pursuing a cowardly terrorist who must be brought to justice. The LNH of
2004 will do all it can to help. I assume you have a description of the
"I know what he looks like. Before we went back in we had Composite
Sketch Lad of LNH Ame.rec.a do this sketch for us." Deja Dude II handed
Ultimate Ninja the picture of the perpetrator.
"Alright," Ultimate Ninja said. "That's a start. I'll inform the
Net.York police and have them put out an all points bulletin."
Intuition Girl spoke up. "With all due respect, Mr. Ninja, Sir, that
won't be enough. He hasn't commited any crimes in the year 2004. What
exactly are we going to tell the police to arrest him for."
"Good point," Ultimate Ninja said. "Alright then, I guess I'd better tell
all available Legionaires to go to Net.York city and join the search for
Doctor Stomper spoke up. "If I might make a suggestion, you might also
want to check your records from the year 2020. If we are successful in
catching this villain in the year 2004 then you would think that the Legion
records would have made some mention of it."
"We thought of that," Deja Dude II said, "but we didn't find any
information on the case."
"Then perhaps we won't be successful," Doctor Stomper suggested.
"Or perhaps we are successful and the case was closed," Deja Dude II
"There's a third possibility," Captain Continuity said. "Perhaps Deja
Dude II will find a reference to what happened in his historical records
AFTER it happens in 2004 because, for us, it hasn't happened yet."
Doctor Stomper smiled. "Time travel stories do not normally obsess so
much over causality but, yes, what you suggest is a possible explanation
that pretty much agrees with how we might imagine time travel might work in
the real world."
"Which brings us back to where we started," Ultimate Ninja said. "We have
ourselves a fugitive and no time travel plot device is going to help us find
him. We are on our own with this one."
LNH Forever #4: Full Circle
Don't ask me how I knew but I knew the LNH was after me. I just knew.
That's why I was wearing a false moustache, a wig and contact lenses. A
change here and there and my own mother wouldn't recognise me.
I got a good night's sleep at a local motel and then went straight to
Ma.C's department store. I knew that, if I went to the electronics
department, I could find the parts I needed to fix my time machine.
Of course, I had to be careful: I had to make sure that I didn't hand the
salesclerk any money dated after 2004. Actually, it wasn't a big problem
because I had a wad of bills with me dated pre-1992 that I had put aside for
my trip to that time period. Still, I had to be careful lest I got arrested
as a counterfeit with a wry sense of humour. I didn't expect anybody to
believe me if I said I was from the future.
After buying the parts I needed, I headed down the esculator to the ground
floor. Imagine my surprise when I saw the LNH there! And not just the LNH,
but LNH memebers from my own time: Deja Dude II, N, Intuition Girl, Swiss
Mouse and Ultimate Ninja (who he would have thought was from his own time
because Ultimate Ninja doesn't seem to age--Footnote Girl). I was sure that
they wouldn't recognise me but, just to be on the safe side, I turned and
headed towards the far exit.
"There he is!" Intuition Girl said after I had made it half way across the
floor. I quickened my pace. How on Looniearth did she recognise me? It
made no difference. If I could just get out of the store and out onto the
street I had a chance to lose them.
Ultimate Ninja was right behind me. He had already drawn his Ginsu katana
blade and was telling me to surrender. I ignored him, so focused I was on
achieving my goal of getting out of the store. I heard people screaming and
felt them looking at me. I didn't care. I would leave them all behind once
I got through the glass doors.
I made it. I got out of the store. Alas, I didn't get very far: Captain
Continuity was out there waiting for me. Apparently his teammates had
contacted him and told him where I was going. Now I was trapped between the
current and future leaders of the LNH, the very people who I had come to
hate all these years.
"It's over!" Ultimate Ninja said as he followed me out of the store.
Over? No. I had devoted my life to trying to destroy the LNH. Barring
that I would see them discredited so that everyone would know what kind of
people they really were. I was prepared to give my life so that people
would know the truth.
"Screw you!" I screamed and then threw myself on the ninja's blade!
That's when I saw him.
That's when I saw me.
I was ten years old. Just a boy. My mother had taken me to Ma.C's
department store on a Saturday morning. I was an innocent child, doomed to
be corrupted by the violence I would witness that day.
To me, it looked as though Ultimate Ninja had killed me in cold blood,
that I was running for my life and the ninja killed me as soon as he caught
up to me. Instead, it was me who threw myself on the ninja's blade, just as
the witnesses outside the store had said I had done.
The look of horror on my face was due to the realisation of what I had
done, that I was responsible for my own tragic life. I wanted to tell
myself, just then, before I breathed my last, tell myself not to follow the
But, of course I would. I had no choice. What I had already done I would
do again in an endless loop of tragedy. The older me would never get to
tell the younger me not to do what he had done. Instead, the younger me
would grow up to do it all over again. And again and again and again. The
rest of the Looniverse would go on as it always had but I would be trapped
in this closed curve of time.
My destiny had come full circle and had formed an endless loop from which
there was no escape.
Ultimate Ninja created by wReam
Irony Man created by wReam
Doctor Stomper created by T. M. Neeck
Captain Continity created by Drizzt, wReam and Robert Armstrong
Deja Dude II, N, Intuition Girl and Swiss Mouse created by me
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