[LNHY/ACRA] Google.mesh #7
phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Sun Dec 19 18:11:05 PST 2004
What a weekend! First my picture appears in the paper so now everybody
knows I'm MegaMetal BlastLord. Then TJ shows up at my apartment. Finally
this old man knocks on my door and claims that he's my long lost ancestor
and a G.rec god no less! He and TJ went to the mall to get some yogurt and,
while they're gone, Lisa and Kien show up. I fight them off and then, soon
after that, TJ and our new friend show up with the LNHer Van Hel.sig.
Apparently Google.mesh had a run in with some other old gods, namely I.sig
and Thur. Anyway, Google.mesh offered to stay with me in case any of them
returned and came after me. It was nice of him to offer, I guess. That was
when the Teen Fascists showed up.
Google.mesh #7: Crossover Part II
The doorbel rang so I went to answer it. "Yes?" I said.
"We're here looking for Google.mesh," Unification Man said.
I wasn't sure whether I should answer their questions. What did they want
with Google.mesh anyway. I started to say "I don't know--"
"It's alright, Martin," Google.mesh said. He opened the door wide so that
they could see him. "_I_ am Google.mesh."
Unification Man nodded. "You are accused of claiming to be the G.rec god
He.rec.les," he said.
"Aye," Google.mesh said.
"Do you realize that is blasphesmy," Double Jeopardy asked him.
Google.mesh smiled. "I see why you might think so but, no, I am not
claiming to be God. I am claiming to be a god, yes, but not the one you
"So you admit that there is a God," Detender asked him.
Suddenly, we heard a scream down the road.
"Perhaps we should talk about this later!" Google.mesh suggested. "It
sounds as though that lady needs our help!"
We all rushed out onto the street and saw a huge dog.
"That's the biggest @#$%ing dog I've ever seen!" Militia Man said.
"Fen.rec!" Google.mesh said.
"Who?" I asked.
"Fen.rec," Google.mesh said. "I first met him when I was known as
He.rec.les. It was one of my labours as He.rec.les to retrieve Fen.rec from
Hell! Later I met him at the battle of Ragan.org. It was because of him
that the Norse men thought I had died."
"So why is he here?" I asked. "Is he back for round three?"
"I.sig must have revived him like she did my son, Thur," Google.mesh
reasoned. "She has sent Fen.rec to kill us."
"You'd better stay out of this son," Unification Man suggested to me. "Let
the professionals handle it."
I changed forms. "I am a professional!" I said.
"Hey!" Double Jeopardy said. "It's MegaMetal BlastLord."
So much for my secret identity. "Yeah, that's right."
"Nevertheless," Unification Man said. "You'd better let us handle it.
Militia Man! Kill that thing!"
"I was just waiting for you to give the order, Sir!" Militia Man fired his
heavy machine gun directly down the monster's throat. It was unfazed.
"Militia Man's bullets are having no effect on the creature!" Judge said.
"Thank you Mother Superior State-the-Obvious!" Unification Man said, with
bitter sarcasm. "What now?"
"I've fought this creature twice before!" Google.mesh said. "I know its
"Do you mind a bit of help?" Detender asked.
"Not at all!" Google.mesh said.
And so Google.mesh and Detender teamed up to take on Fen.rec.
"What about us?" Cruel asked.
"We can help too!" Unusual said.
"No," Unification Man said. "You aren't strong enough to take on anything
like that. The creature could chew you up and spit you out!"
"Ew!" Search said.
"That is, like, so gross!" Seizure said.
Meanwhile, I stood back, wondering what I could do to help. I saw some
civilians getting a bit too close to the fight scene. I warned them off.
The Teen Fascists followed my lead.
"Everybody stay back!" Unification Man said. "There's nothing to see
Google.mesh jumped on the creatures back and started hitting it on the
head. Detender struck the creature from below, hitting its jaw, all the
while being careful to avoid the creature's teeth. Eventually the creature
"We must kill it!" Google.mesh said.
"It's only an animal," Detender said.
"It's a demon from Hell!" Google.mesh said.
"Oh," Detender said, "in that case, you grab the creature's upper jaw and
I'll grab the creature's lower jaw and we'll try to rip the creature apart."
"Excellent!" Google.mesh said as he grabbed the creatures upper jaw.
Detender grabbed the creature's lower jaw. "Ready?" he asked.
"Ready!" Google.mesh said and the two strong men both pulled in opposite
directions. The creature's head split open.
"Cool!" Cruel said.
"Awesome!" Unusual said.
"That is _so_ gross!" Search said.
"No shit!" Seizure said.
"Good work you two!" Unification Man said. He sighed deeply. "Look, Mr.
"Don't worry!" Google.mesh said. "I know. You were just doing your job!"
"I'll inform Father Priest that you are just another superhero fighting the
good fight," he said, "and that your claiming to be a god was just an ugly
"As you wish!" Google.mesh said.
"Yeah," Detender said, reaching to shake Google.mesh's hand. "You fought
Google.mesh accepted the handshake. "You too. Say, you have a nice strong
handshake! You remind me of of old friend, Enkiben."
"Really? What happened to him?" Detender asked.
"He died 4700 years ago," Google.mesh said.
"Oh," Detender said. "Okay."
Unification Man then spoke to me. "Look, MegaMetal BlastLord,if you're not
too old, we'd be happy to have you join the Teen Fascists."
It was an honour to be asked, but I had to wonder what TJ would say, what
with his experience in the camps and all. "Actually, no, I'm bot
Unification Man was a bit taken aback. "But... look... if you're worried
about being black, it's okay! We don't mind! I mean, look at Judge here!
She's not white either!"
Judge was clearly annoyed by Unification Man's insensitive remark but
Unification Man remained clueless. "Seriously, we would have to have you
join us!" she said.
"That would be nice," I said, sincerely. Really. If I hadn't been
planning to become a priest I might have... but, no, I was still planning to
live a chaste life. "But I'm sorry, I can't," I said.
"If you change your mind," Unification Man said, "let us know."
"Sure," I said, hoping to leave it at that.
"Alright everybody!" Unification Man said. "Back to base!" They regrouped
"Are you alright?" Google.mesh said.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Martin said.
"You know," Google.mesh said, "it occurs to me that I.sig probably did send
Fen.rec after me, not you. Perhaps you would be safer with me not around."
I was touched by the old man's sincere concern. "It's okay," I said. "I
like having company. Just as long as you don't eat all my food!"
"If I feel hungry," he said, "I'll go to Mac.Donalds. There's one at the
"I know," I said with a smile. "I know!"
Anyway, it's back to school on Monday. I pray to God everything goes
alright and people don't mind having a mutant or a god or whatever in their
class with them. May God bless them with the wisdom to continue seeing me
as their friend Martin and not as MegaMetal BlastLord."
Teen Fascists created by Arthur Spitzer and Martin Phipps. Martin /
MegaMetal BlastLord created by Saxon Brenton. Google.mesh, I.sig and Thur
created by me.
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