[LNH2] LNH Asia: Full Throtle #3

Martin Phipps phippsmartin at hotmail.com
Sun Aug 1 05:30:22 PDT 2004

2020.  The future.  C.bu (incorrectly spelt C.cu at the end of last issue -- 
Footnote Woman).

  Deja Dude was sitting in his living room watching
the opening credits to Spiderman 6 on HBO when he
heard a knock on the door.  He got up and went to the
door to see who was there.  He was shocked to see who
it was.
  "Cute Anna!" he said.
  "No, not Cute Anna.  I'm her sister, Cute Emma."
  "Ah.  Cute Emma, yes, I remember you!"
  "How?  We've never met!"
  "Oh but we have!  Or rather we did!  Of course then we made it so that we 
  "What are you talking about?"
  Deja Dude sighed.  "This is going to be hard to explain."

                     LNH Asia: Full Throtle #3
                              "Cat Fight!"

Meanwhile, in Lan.jing, Chi.net...

  Deja Dude II, Utraman and Moonfire were facing off against the Lan.darin, 
a net.villain with rings for flight, fire, poison gas, invisibility, 
freezing, lightning, force shields, disintegration, sonic blasts and 
telekinesis.  They had come to Lan.jing, the Lan.darin's home town in 
Chi.net, to look for him and knew that they had found him when flames, 
lightning bolts, sonic blasts, blasts of
cold air, clouds of poisonous gas and distintegration
beams started to rain down on them.
  Deja Dude II grimaced.  "This could be a bit difficult."
  "Don't worry!" Moonfire said.  "For all his power, he doesn't have my 
super speed!"
  Just then, a lightning bolt struck Moonfire and he was thrown backwards 
into a car.  Lucky for him, he had been flying at the time and was thus 
protected by his natural invulnerability while in flight.  But it still 
  "Ow!" he said.  "You're right, Michael!  This isn't going to be easy!"


  "You're telling me that I was the main net.villain in some story that 
never even happened?" Cute Emma asked incredulously.
  "It did happen," Deja Dude said, "but then we just decided that it didn't, 
me and Master Blaster, because it would have been awkward for to explain to 
our wives why we went with you in the first place."
  "You just decided that it didn't happen and then, poof, it didn't happen?"
  "Well, something like that.  Actually, we had Retcon Lad's help, because 
he specializes in that sort of thing."
  "So I guess you're the net.villain working with the Lan.darin."
  "You don't sound surprised."
  "No," Deja Dude said frankly.  "I had it all figured out from the way 
Master Roster Man had described you."
  "But when I appeared at your door you looked genuinely surprised to see 
  "Didn't I though?" Deja Dude said proudly.  "I was acting!"
  "I had to seem surprised to see you in order to make last issue's 
cliffhanger work."
  "I don't believe you."
  Deja Dude smiled.  "Fine.  Don't believe me.  But it is because I knew you 
were coming that I brought your sister here."
  "My sister?"
  "Hello, Emma."
  "That's right, the real Cute Anna!" Deja Dude said.
  "When is it going to stop, Emma?"
  "What are you talking about, Anna?"
  "After thousands of years!  The evil schemes!  The bad dialogue!"
  "Look who's talking!"
  "I'm here to put a stop to you once and for all!"
  "Ha ha ha!  I'd like to see you try!"
  "Haiii-YA!"  Cute Anna went on the attack, hitting her sister in the face 
with her kick.  Cute Emma spun around and kicked Cute Anna in the stomach.  
Cute Anna flew backwards but managed to land on her feet after performing a 
mid air summersault.
  "Impressive!" Cute Emma said.  She pressed on with karate blows but was 
consistently blocked by Cute Anna.  Finally, she managed to grab Cute Anna's 
hair and started to pull.
  "Ow!" Cute Anna said.  "You know, two can play that game!"
  Just then, Master Roster Man came in and sat down on the sofa next to Deja 
Dude.  He was carrying a bag of popcorn.  "Alright!  Cat fight!"
  "You made popcorn?" Deja Dude asked.
  "Yeah," Master Roster Man said.  "I had a sudden craving for it.  I don't 
know.  I just don't seem to be able to stop eating!"
  "Living on rice and vegetables for twenty years will do that!" Deja Dude 
said.  "Can I have some?"
  "Sure!" Master Roster Man said and gave Deja Dude a handful.  Meanwhile, 
Cute Anna and Cute Emma were grabbing at each other's uniforms and causing 
them to rip.  "Isn't this a rip off of a scene from Undercover Brother?"
  "Yeah!" Deja Dude said.  "Funny movie.  If Master Blaster were here he'd 
probably say that Denise Richards had a great butt.  Hey!  Wait a minute!  
If you were held prisoner for twenty years, how come you got to see that 
  "I saw a pirated copy in the dungeon back in 2005.  Or 2006.  Can't be 
sure of the date.  The guards got bored sometimes just watching me for hours 
on end."
  "Makes sense," Deja Dude said.  Cute Anna and Cute Emma made their way 
into the bathroom.  "Oh!  This is getting good!"
  Deja Dude and Master Roster Man followed them into the bathroom.  Cute 
Anna pushed Cute Emma into the shower.  Emma was dazed from all the 
punishment she had already taken so she just flopped against the wall and 
slid down onto the floor of the shower.  Cute Anna grabbed the shower head 
and turned on the shower, causing the water to spray into Cute Emma's face.  
"Get up, you bit--!"
  "Easy, Cute Anna!" Deja Dude said.  "Calm down!  Or I'll have to give this 
issue an Acrophobe label!"
  "I think she's had enough!" Master Roster Man said.
  "Well, that's one net.villain delt with!" Deja Dude said.

  Meanwhile, back in Chi.net, Deja Dude II, Utraman and Moonfire had finally 
managed to subdue the Lan.darin.
  "I've got his rings!" Moonfire said.
  "Curses!" the Lan.darin said.
  "What about the disk?" Deja Dude asked.
  "What disk?" the Lan.darin asked.
  "The disk with the LNH Roster on it," Utraman said.
  "Are you joking?" the Lan.darin said.  "I gave that disk to someone a 
long, long time ago!"
  "Who?" Deja Dude II demanded.  "Who did you give it to?"

Meanwhile, in the village of Muubaanlek in northern Thai.lan...

  Lagneto was sitting in his living room watching
the closing credits to Spiderman 6 on HBO when he
heard a knock on the door.  He got up and went to the
door to see who was there.  He was shocked to see who
it was.
  "Rumour Monger!" he said.

NEXT: Resolutions!

LNH Asia created by me.  The Lan.darin, Master Blaster, Cute Emma and Cute 
Anna created by
me.  Master Roster Man created by Jef Kolodziej.
Footnote Woman (Girl) and Retcon Lad created by Saxon Brenton.


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