[LNH2] LNH Asia 2020 #2

[Martin Phipps]

LNH Asia 2020 #2: Brothers Up In Arms, Part IV

2020.  The future.  C.bu, Philippi.net.

  "You know, you're still cute," Deja Dude said, "even when you're angry."
  "This is serious matter," Hamster Man said.  "I would appreciate you 
treating it that way."
  "Alright then.  You were saying that you had reviewed the evidence 
surrounding the death of Lagneto."
  "Supposed death," Hamster Man insisted.
  "Supposed death.  And?"
  "I found that there was indeed sufficient evidence to conclude that it was 
a hoax."
  "And you came all this way to tell us this?"
  "No.  I came all this way to ask you all directly."
  "Ask us what?"
  "Is Lagneto still alive?"
  "Yes," Deja Dude said without hesitation.  All the members of both LNH 
Asia and LNH Europe present in the Central Command Centre of LNHAHQ (LNH 
Asia Headquarters), including Swiss Miss, Linguist Lass, Browsing Boy, Deja 
Dude II, Utraman, Moonfire, N, Nimbo and Intuition Girl, gasped upon hearing 
Deja Dude's admission, all except Hamster Man himself, for whom it came as 
no surprise.
  "So you admit to being involved in a conspiracy to allow a fugitive to 
escape justice?" Hamster Man asked indignantly.
  "I admit to giving an old man a second chance at life.  One of the basic 
principles of civilisation is that you don't punish children for the crimes 
of their father.  Lagneto's sons weren't even born when he committed the 
crimes he was accused of and yet you would still take a father away from 
hbis sons and a man away from his wife."
  "That wasn't your decision," Hamster Man argued.  "That was to be the 
decision of the  court."
  "You never even met the man."
  "I was at his trial."
  "To you, he's just another net.villain."
  "And what is he to you?"
  "A tragic figure."
  Hamster Man shook his head.  "If you are trying to get me to feel sympathy 
for a multi-murderer then you're making a big mistake."
  "What are you saying?"
  "I'm saying I'm going to get this operation closed down."
  "No, you aren't.  You don't have the authority."
  "I'll get the authority!" Hamster Man said.  "I'll have LNH Ame.rec.a 
rescind your charter!  Then I'll have the Philippi.net government arrest you 
all for being an illegal militia!"
  "No, you won't."
  "You just wait and see!"
  "Uh... dad."
  "Not now, Michael."
  "It's important."  Michael looked up at the ceiling.
  "So is this."
  Michael looked at his teammates, Utraman and Moonfire, standing on either 
side of him.  "Alright, guys, follow me."  Deja Dude II flew up and out 
through a passageway in the ceiling while Damien and Shiro followed closely 
behind him.
  "Where are they going?" Hamster Man asked.
  "Looks like something came up," Deja Dude said.

Just then, in orbit above Looniearth...

  "Hey!  My stupid @$$%^&* of a captain!  We targetted the @#$%^&* house as 
you @#$%^&* well requested!"
  "Excellent!  Power up weapons and fire when ready!"  Boba LaRocque smiled 
with glee.  As a young boy, our heroes destroyed his home and now he was 
going to destroy theirs.
  "Hey!  Bonehead!  We have incoming contacts!"
  "Missles?" Boba LaRocque asked, not sure if the humans had the technology 
necessary to target and fire on a Dorfian ship in space.
  "No.  They look @#$%^&* human."
  "How many?"
  "Three.  No, two."
  "Actually, three," Deja Dude II said.  He had appeared right behind Boba 
RaRocque himself.  "But one of us is already here."  He quickly grabbed Boba 
LaRocque's laser sword before the Dorf could use it himself.
  "Kill him!" Boba LaRocque ordered.
  Deja Dude II activated the laser sword and killed several Dorfs on the 
bridge before they could so much as draw weapons.
  "INCOMING!"
  "You're going to answer for what you did!"  Deja Dude II grabbed Boba 
LaRocque and teleported him down to Looniearth.  Just then, the 
invulnerable, superfast and superstrong Utraman crashed through the hull of 
the Dorfian ship, through the bridge and some of the service tunnels and 
then breached the hull one more time on his way out.  Moonfire, who was 
invulnerable while in flight, also passed through the back of the ship, 
breaching the engine core on the way through and causing it to go critical.  
Moonfire, unable to breathe in space, returned to Looniearth while Utraman 
remained in orbit and watched the Dorfian destroyer silently explode, 
finally killing whatever survivors had still been on board.  Utraman then 
returned to Looniearth and LNHAHQ.

  "What just happened?" Hamster Man asked.  Deja Dude II, Utraman and 
Moonfire were only gone for a few minutes and then returned with a prisoner, 
Boba LaRocque.
  "He tried to kill us!" Deja Dude II told him.
  "How?"
  "He had a Dorfian destroyer in orbit above us," Utraman told him.
  "Had?  What happened to it?"
  "Destroyed," Moonfire said proudly.
  Hamster Man turned pale.  "How many Dorfs were on board?"
  "Six hundred!" Boba LaRocque said, angrily.
  "My God!  What will the Dorfian Emperor say?"
  "Um... for them to have been here, they would have had to have crossed the 
Neutral Zone," the senior Deja Dude pointed.
  "I admit their presence here is provocutive."  Hamster Man shook his head. 
  "This gives me the authority to shut you down immediately!  You will 
release all prisoners!  I'll have the Ame.rec.an embassy in Mani.lan issue 
Plotchopper, Captain Coredump and Robgoblin emergency passports so they can 
freely leave the Philippi.net!"
  Deja Dude concentrated for a moment.  "You're not going to do that."
  "I'm not going to do that."
  "You're going to take Boba LaRocque to the Hague, Net.ther.lan.s where he 
will stand trial for the attempted genocide of the human race!"
  "We're going to take Boba LaRocque to the Hague, Net.ther.lan.s where he 
will stand trial for the attempted genocide of the human race!"
  "You're going to forget all about Lagneto.  You don't have any concrete 
evidence, only speculation about him somehow cheating death.  And even if it 
were true, good luck to him."
  "We're going to forget all about Lagneto.  We don't have any concrete 
evidence, only speculation about him somehow cheating death.  And even if it 
were true, good luck to him."  Hamster Man, Swiss Miss, Linguist Lass and 
Browsing Boy happily left LNHAHQ.  All was forgiven.  In fact, they couldn't 
remember why they went there in the first place, let alone what they had 
just been arguing about.
  "What about Plotchopper, Captain Coredump and Robgoblin?" Deja Dude II 
asked.
  "What about them?"
  Deja Dude's teammates all looked over to the prisoner holding area.  
"They're gone!"
  Deja Dude nodded.  "I sent them back to Bang.DOS, Thai.lan, with no memory 
of why they were there in the first place, let alone of being captured and 
brought here.  As far as they are concerned, they are tourists.  Right now, 
they're thinking about checking into a hotel.  Tonight, they're going for a 
night on the town.  I even provided them with some protection, extra large 
to cover their superhuman proportions!"
  "Ew!  That last part you didn't have to tell us!" Intuition Girl said.
  "What about Rumour Monger, Grim and Gritty?"  Deja Dude II asked.
  Deja Dude concentrated for a moment and then said "I've altered their 
memories too so they'll forget all about Lagneto.  I've even erased the 
relevant evidence from Rumour Monger's computer and from the computers at 
Scot.lan Yard."
  "Aren't you using a bit too much Deux Ex Machina?" Deja Dude II asked.  
"Couldn't you have come up with a better ending than this?"
  "I don't think so," Deja Dude said.  "I think this storyline has played 
out as far as it was going to go.  I wasn't going to have Lagneto show up 
and turn this into Lagneto 2020."  Deja Dude turned to address the reader.  
"Sorry if anybody was expecting a showdown between Lagneto and Grim and 
Gritty but, remember, Eric is trying to redeem himself and it isn't going to 
help him if he ends up having to kill again!"
  "And yet, altering people's memories isn't the sort of things heroes 
should do," Deja Dude II argued.
  Deja Dude shrugged his shoulders.  "Well, Professor Xavier used to do it 
all the time in the old Lee / Kirby X-Men days.  Hell, if the great Stan Lee 
couldn't come up with a better ending back in those days then I don't think 
anybody should be giving me a hard time about it."
  "Good point."
  "Alright then," Deja Dude said with satisfaction.  "Let's end this arc 
here and now."

  THE END

NEXT: Boba LaRocque stands trial for the attempted genocide of the human 
race in LNH Europe 2020 #3!

And in LNH Asia 2020 #3, Deja Dude II, Utraman and Moonfire are the best of 
friends.  What would make them fight amongst themselves?

CREDITS:

LNH Europe created by Kevin Wilcox.  Hamster Man, Rumour Monger, Captain 
Coredump and Plotchopper created by Raymond "wReam" Bingham.  Robgoblin, 
Grim and Gritty created by Jeff "Drizzt" Barnes.  Brotherhood of Evil 
Net.Villains created by wReam and Drizzt.  Lagneto created by Jef Kolodziej.

LNH Asia, including Deja Dude, Deja Dude II, Utraman, Moonfire, N, Nimbo and 
Intuition Girl, all created by me.

Linguist Lass and Boba LaRocque created by me.

Browsing Boy and the Dorfs are public domain.

Martin

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