SG: Rad #99 (4/4):

[Gary W. Olson]

(concluded from part three, preceding...)

                                 ***

     Rumiko Moroboshi heard her dad call to her as she lifted off.
She saw him further up, above the sphere-ships hovering over the
elevator shaft.  He was flying down... only to seemingly stop in mid-
air.
     She knew what had happened, having heard the strange and vaguely
vulgar sound of the monkeys' blunderbuss only a few seconds before.
They had shot out something that became a slow-aether bubble, and Rad
had flown right into it.  Had circumstances been less strenuous, she
realized she would have found it funny.
     The ride up had been fast, and far from gentle.  The force of the
acceleration had been enough to push her flat onto her back.  She was
fairly certain that it had not been constructed with the comfort of
passengers in mind--at least, passengers without the sense to stay
inside a vehicle such as a bus.
     She had lost track of how many minutes had passed, but knew it
was not many before the elevator slowed.  The monkeys had been
ignoring everyone save Erasmus Fancy, forming a ring around him and
speaking into buttons on their collars.  Fancy had not been idle,
despite having been slowed, and nearly had his mask on when they
reached the surface.
     Rumi had sat up and seen nothing but monkeys.  Their howls had
been deafening when the ascenders came into their view.
     The next thing she knew, Fancy had his mask on.  Then he had
leapt clear, as if the slow-aether bubble had gone, and everything
went mad.
     There were more than just monkeys about.  There were goats with
belts that fired darts.  There was Aunt Yury, flying overhead and
firing flaming plasma at the sphere-ships, which in turn spat massive
electrical bolts into the fray.  There were bullets, and screams, and
people with jetpacks.
     "Whoa!" Lemon Rydell had exclaimed, as he got up.  "This is crazy
awesome!"
     "Esteban!" Miguel Veracruz had called.  "Get Eivandt, Tom, and
Alice to safety!"  He paused, considered Lemon, and frowned.  "And
him, too."
     "Don't bother," said Lemon, wide-eyed and looking all around.
"I'll just come running back."
     Esteban had looked as if he wanted to just dive into the fray, or
at least go after Fancy.  Something had changed in him as a result of
their conversation behind the grating, Rumi thought.  He had let go of
something inside, and the fear in his eyes had been replaced by
determination.
     It had not overwhelmed his sense, she saw.  Esteban had nodded to
his brother, then had flown to where Tom McCavish-Laffalot was sitting
up.  Rumi and Lemon had followed.  They had arrived and found that
Cendra Seconds was already there, breaking open the binders that held
Alice Seconds.
     "Where's mom?" Rumi had asked, as Esteban and Lemon helped
Eivandt Seconds sit up.
     "Glum flew into the fight as soon as we got here," Cendra had
replied.  "Her mind's jangling, she's got so much energy in her.  It
was hell just keeping her from flying off earlier... Esteban!"
     "There he is!" Esteban had shouted, pointing toward the massive
descending figure of Erasmus Fancy.  Rumi saw Fancy's mask was now
gone, exposing a ferocious and maddened expression.  Esteban had taken
to the air again, ignoring shouts from Cendra and Alice, and the next
thing Rumi knew, she was in the air beside him.
     Then she heard her dad shout her name, and there they all were.
Erasmus Fancy had come back from his escape for some reason, and
Esteban was out to take him down.  Her father, in pursuit, was stopped
by a random firing of the blunderbuss the monkeys had earlier used to
imprison Fancy and---
     She looked down at the space where Fancy and Dana Wader had been.
There was only a small smear of blood where Wader used to be.
     "Crap," Rumi said, looking about.  Coco had been right about the
bubble being temporary--or perhaps Fancy's escape somehow disrupted
it.  Wader was nowhere in sight, but there was The Programmer, on top
of one of the busses.  He had gotten free of the cable binding his
wrists, and was shouting something into a metallic instrument in his
hand.
     The people dressed as ninjas and zombies were responding,
launching themselves at demon monkeys with abandon.  Some shouted
about having skills, others shouted about obtaining brains, but all
were swinging arms and legs at their furry foes.  The monkeys seemed
initially baffled by this, then retaliated as against their other
opponents.
     Rumi fired a psychokinetic bolt at The Programmer, and was
surprised when he dodged it.  Three demon monkeys materialized in
front of her, forcing her down even as they were deflected by her
shields.  She landed in the midst of a group of pseudo-zombies and
armed goats, neither group having taken a shine to the other.
     "Brains!" one of the pseudo-zombies insisted.
     "Aye, it's clear you need some!" the nearest goat answered.
"Have at you, vile ruffian!"
     "Wait!" Rumi yelled.  "The zombies are being mind-controlled!
They're actually innocent people!"
     The four goats, having either not heard or not cared, squarely
faced the would-be zombies.  Rumi flinched, sure she would next see
darts and blood on the necks of the targets.  Instead, she saw one
goat tip on its side, falling into its fellow.  Which fell into its
fellow, and so on, until all were on the ground.
     "What?" asked the goat who had spoken earlier, as his legs
flailed.  "We had them dead to---"
     "She said they're being mind-controlled, dummy!" a young-sounding
voice interrupted.  Rumi blinked, and there before her, between the
goats and the zombies, was a sandy-blond-haired boy in a stained red
t-shirt and blue jean shorts.
     "They only would have been knocked out," the lead goat replied,
sounding rather huffy.  "There was no need for... I say, look out!"
     The would-be zombies lunged at the boy, only to stop when he
vanished before their--and Rumi's--eyes.  Rumi knocked them on their
backs with a lightly-powered psychokinetic bolt.  The zombies stayed
on their backs, not having been given any instructions on what to do
in this eventuality, aside from continuing to assure anyone passing by
that they were, in fact, zombies, and did, in fact, seek to consume
brains.  The goats looked at Rumi, who shrugged.
     But, back to The Programmer.  He was still on the bus, shouting
into his metal thing.  Several pseudo-ninjas were on the bus with him,
acting as a sort of guard.  She flew toward them, and they threw wood
screws, brackets, and other metal things at her.
     "We are ninjas!" they declared.  "Your kung fu is weak,
grasshopper!  Oy!  Taste our ninja st... stee..."
     Rumi pulled up and stared as the pseudo-ninjas dropped their
makeshift weapons and started dancing.  She became mildly alarmed when
several of them started rubbing against The Programmer--a reaction it
looked like he shared.
     "We do a little dance!" they yelled.  "We make a little love!  We
get down tonight!"
     "Ack!" The Programmer exclaimed.  "Get off!  Get... hey!"  The
metal thing in his hand fell, bounced once on the roof of the bus, and
skittered off.  Rumi knocked the would-be ninjas off the bus with a
blast as well, causing them to land on top of a group of monkeys.
Then she landed before The Programmer.
     "Hi," she said.  "Remember when I said I'd refrain from
demonstrating the meaning of the phrase 'psychokinetic wedgie?'"
     The Programmer's eyes grew wide.  "But I helped you, just like
you wanted!" he protested.
     "Surrender now," Rumi said, "and explain what that thing you were
talking into is supposed to do, or I'll just have to break that
particular prom---"
     It happened in a moment.  A massive figure landed on the roof of
the bus, barreled into The Programmer, then leapt, taking The
Programmer with him.  Even as Rumi realized that the figure was
Erasmus Fancy, Esteban flew past, still in pursuit.
     Demon monkeys were also in pursuit of Fancy, and some tried to
latch onto Esteban to keep him from getting to their quarry first.
Esteban spun in the air with a speed bordering on the maniacal and a
leg spread bordering on the gymnastic, knocking monkeys away with his
bronze-gold foot.  Darts heading for him--probably aimed at demon
monkeys, but homing in on him nonetheless--were deflected when he
flipped upside down so that they struck his armor-protected ass.  One
boot was distorting the air with propulsive waves of some kind, while
the other one fired a projectile that sent a cluster of demon monkeys
scrambling for cover, though it merely struck the pavement and
bounced.  It was an exhausting display to watch, Rumi thought, made
moreso by the fact that Esteban was trying to be a full armored hero
with only half an armored suit.
     "Where'd Fancy go?" Esteban called to her.
     She was about to reply when she saw something on the ground that
made her blood run cold.  Dana Wader stood over Lemon, a large knife
in her left hand.  Lemon looked up at her, trying to inch away even
though she had him dead to rights.  Esteban saw where she was looking,
and immediately forgot about Fancy.
     "Hey!" he yelled.  "Let him go!"
     Wader wasted no time with a reply.  She reached down, hauled
Lemon up by his bare left arm, then swung him around so that she could
use him as a shield.
     "Back off, hot pants!" Wader yelled.  "You too, pretty-pretty!"
     A laser barrel slid from the right thigh of Los Pantalones,
swiveled, and targeted Wader.  She grinned and pressed her knife
against Lemon's throat.
     "She'll do it, Esteban!" Rumi called.  "Stand down!"
     "Ow!" Lemon added.  "I was just gonna get your autograph, lady!"
     "A likely... what?" Wader asked.
     "What?" Rumi and Esteban echoed.
     "You're, like, my favorite villain ever!" Lemon said, sounding
for all the world like an enthusiastic fan.  "I wrote a supslash fic
with you and Admiral Morgan, where you totally capture these superguys
and you get out these canes and---"
     "Wait," said Wader.  "You're not 'waderfanhubbahubba,' are
you?"
     Lemon blinked.  "You know me?"
     "You know him?" Rumi and Esteban echoed.
     "Um... no!" Wader declared, suddenly seeming embarrassed.  "Um...
not at all.  And don't come closer!  Or skrrrrt!"
     Rumi started to reply, but was drowned out by the rush of an
electrical blast overhead.

                                 ***

     When the bronze-gold flash subsided and the invigorating feeling
of electrocution faded, Rad saw Glum hovering in the air before him.
He grinned and met her in a hug both intimate and nerve-jangling.
     "Like, whoa, babe," he said, as they pulled apart.  "You're,
like, crackling, like, y'know?"
     "I got supercharged on something down in the base," Glum
answered, as sparks popped from her eyes and light flashed across her
skin.  "It's dissipating as I use it up, though.  You were stuck in
mid-air, did you know that?"
     "Like, no."
     "Some bubble was around you," Glum went on.  "A couple demon
monkeys were swinging this blunderbuss thing around, and firing it
kind of at random, I think.  It shoots out these bubbles... I hit the
one you were in with a bioelectric blast, and it dissipated."
     "Like, no way!"
     "Yes, way!"
     Glum made a face, and he grinned.  "Never mind that," she said.
"Take a look down there!  Your daughter is facing off against Dana
Wader!"
     This got Rad's attention.  He peered down and saw a cluster of
beings--monkeys, goats, agents, superguys, and concessions vendors--
forming around Rumi Moroboshi, a Hispanic teen boy in oversize bronze-
gold pants, Wader, and a blond teen boy she was holding hostage.
     He looked further, to see if his older allies were near.  Guido
was closest, but judging from his frozen expression and the way the
large gun he had just fired had sent its projectile all of five feet,
he was trapped in another of the bubbles.  HotFlash and MeltDown
soared and swooped between the sphere-ships, with MeltDown taking
Rad's place in blasting holes in the metal softened up by HotFlash's
plasma blasts.  There were three sphere-ships in pieces in the parking
lot now, and fewer sphere-ships still flying, and those he saw were
headed over the edge of the stadium wall.  Capella, he noted, was no
longer where he had seen her fall, and he suspected she had been
pulled onboard one of the spheres by her monkey troops.
     Chalandra, Confusion, Elizabeth Tirkoff, Dr. Gigawatt, and
Criticalman appeared engaged in getting as many pseudo-zombies and
pseudo-ninjas to safety, whether they wanted to go or not.  Many did
not, flailing and cursing as they were bodily carried away.  Rad
noticed a large, black-furred werewolf who appeared to be aiding them
in this, and that Tom McCavish-Laffalot, Eivandt Seconds, Cendra
Seconds, and Alice Seconds were doing their best to keep his path
clear of demon monkeys.  None appeared in imminent danger, but none
appeared to be in a position to help end the hostage situation,
either.  Which left him and Glum.
     They landed beside Rumi and the boy wearing the armored pants.
Wader noted their arrival and pressed the knife tighter against the
blond boy's throat.
     "I'll do it, you tanned freak!" she declared, eyes shifting to
Rad.  "I'll cut... um... what's your name, kid?  Real name, I mean?"
     "Lemon," said the boy.
     "Right," Dana replied.  "I'll cut Lemon's throat!"  She paused.
"What kind of name is that?"
     "My mother's eccentric."
     "Your mother's a looney."  Wader shook her head and bared her
teeth directly at Rad.  "I'll do it!  Even if I did like that story he
wrote with you and Dar!"
     "Like, what?" Rad asked.  Rumi, Glum, and the Hispanic boy echoed
the second word.
     "That wasn't me!" Lemon protested.  "That was 'ieviscarateu!'"
     "Really?" Wader asked.  "Oh, wait, *I* wrote that one.  Don't
mind me, it's been a hell of a day.  Where was I?"
     "You were going to let me go," Lemon suggested.  Rad was
surprised to see Wader actually lessen the pressure of the knife on
the boy's throat.  The boy tried twisting away, but too soon; Wader
realized what she was doing and retightened her grip.
     "What the hell?" she asked.  "You using magic on me, boy?"
     Before Lemon could reply, the knife jumped from Wader's hand, as
if it had been knocked by something.  It hit the ground, clattered to
a standstill, then vanished.  A younger blond boy--whom Rad recognized
as Elizabeth's son Kirby--appeared next to Rad, holding the knife
handle gingerly between two fingertips.
     "Can you take this?" Kirby asked.  "My mom doesn't like me
playing with knives."
     "Hey!" Wader exclaimed.  "That's mine!"
     Further property claims on her part were forestalled when Lemon
brought his right foot down hard on Dana's foot.  Rad heard a snapping
sound, then saw Dana fall over, howling in pain.  Lemon ran to the
Hispanic kid, while Rumi went toward Wader.
     "Rumi!" Glum called.
     Rad was not entirely surprised to see the look of defiance in
Rumi's eyes as she looked back at her mother.  It was something he had
sensed building for a long time, ever since the start of their trip
from Planet California to Earth.  All the rules they had laid down,
all their plans to shield her from the dangers they knew were part and
parcel of being a superguy on Earth... they had thought they would
have a few weeks, at least, before letting some of them be bent, but
it looked like they were all already on their way to being shattered.
     What did surprise him was what Glum said next.
     "Watch her left arm," Glum said, moving to stand on Rumi's right
side.  "Wader always keeps a hidden weapon tucked in a thigh pocket."
     "But she's in too much pain---" started Rumi.
     Glum made a face and shook her head.  "She has a high tolerance.
As many times as darling and I fought her, we know.  She can take a
lot... there!"
     Wader had a small pistol in her hand and was raising it when a
blast from Rumi knocked it out of her hand.  A bioelectric blast from
Glum caused Dana to slump back to the ground, unconscious.
     "Good one, mom!" Rumi exclaimed.
     Glum grinned and held out her hand, palm up, facing Rumi.  Rumi
looked suddenly uncomfortable, and looked back at Rad, the boys, and
the various others in the crowd.
     "Mooom," she said.  "My *friends* are watching."
     Glum merely cocked her head and waited.  Rumi fidgeted some, then
sighed, reached up, and gave her mother a tepid 'high five.'  Sparks
flew from their hands when this happened.  Glum grinned.  Rumi looked
embarrassed.
     "Kiiiirrrrbyyyyy!" someone yelled, somehow piercing the general
hubbub of the fighting still going on.  Kirby's head snapped up, and
his eyes grew wide.  "I am *so* toast," he said, looking in the
direction of the voice--which Rad realized belonged to Elizabeth
Tirkoff.  Kirby then disappeared, leaving only the knife, which
clattered to the asphalt.
     "I almost got killed by Dana Wader!" Lemon exclaimed.  "I am *so*
going to blog this!"
     "What about the... what did you call it... 'supslash?'" asked the
Hispanic boy.
     "Fooled her, didn't I?" Lemon asked.  "She totally thought I was
that 'waderfan.'  I mean, sure, I read them, but write them?  Come on.
I was just trying to get her off her guard, see, and that story was
the first thing I thought of, and she totally surprised me by knowing
what I was talking about."
     "And *you* know what you were talking about because...?"
     Lemon shrugged.  "I've got a lot of unsupervised free time," he
said, "and the internet is full of wonders."  From anyone else, Rad
thought, it would have sounded defensive, but the kid seemed not to
care.
     "Rad," China Moroboshi's voice crackled in his head, via his
implanted radio receiver.  "Take a look at the stadium.  It looks like
our friends from the Hidden Empire are in full retreat."
     Indeed, Rad saw, the last of the sphere-ships was moving toward
the stadium.  It wobbled somewhat, as if it was overloaded.  Part of
its hull was a transparent oval, and Rad thought he saw Capella
looking back at him through it.
     "It's her!" he heard Rumi exclaimed.  "Capella!"
     Rad wondered how *she* had recognized Capella, given how late she
had arrived to the battle.  But before he could ask, Rumi took off
after the sphere ship, and the Hispanic boy did the same.  Glum looked
at Rad, shrugged, and launched herself in pursuit.  Rad quickly caught
up, swerving between Rumi and Glum as they rose over the edge of the
stadium.
     The dimensional portal that was the nectarisite lake was nearly
gone.  Metal swirled around a center that Rad guessed to be the
pitcher's mound, looking as if it was draining into the ground.
Capella's sphere-ship--its transparent oval window gone--fell rapidly
toward what was left, disappearing through the center with barely a
yard's worth of metal to spare.  Less than a minute later, even that
was gone, and the field of Dodger stadium was back.
     The grass seemed undisturbed, Rad saw.  When he landed on the
pitcher's mound, he found no evidence that a lake of metal had either
risen from or drained back into it.
     "Looks like they got away," said Glum, looking at Rumi.  "Who's
Capella?"
     "Long story," both she and Rad said in unison.
     "Is it over?" the Hispanic boy asked.
     "Like, think so, dude," said Rad.  "Like, what's your name?"
     "Esteban Veracruz," said the boy.
     "Oh, you're Miguel's brother!" Glum exclaimed.  "I never did get
to meet you earlier!"
     "Like, I meant your superguy name, dude," Rad corrected.  "You,
like, made some totally excellent moves out there, like, y'know?"
     "Oh!" Esteban replied, a broad smile breaking over his face.
"I... um... I never really came up with one I liked..."
     "What about 'El Guerrero?'" said Rumi.  "That is what Erasmus
Fancy called you."
     "I don't know why he called me that," Esteban replied.  "It means
'warrior' in Spanish, but... hmmm.  'El Guerrero de Los Pantalones.'
It... kind of fits, I think..."  He looked up, eyes wide.  "Erasmus
Fancy!  I totally forgot!"
     "Like, hang on, dude," said Rad.  "Like, China, you, like, still
there?"
     "Right here," China replied in his head.  "Sorry, looks like
Erasmus Fancy and The Programmer made good their escape.  Confusion
called in that he and Guido have Dana Wader firmly tied up, though."
     Rad relayed the news to the others.  Esteban looked frustrated,
then nodded.  Rumi placed a hand on his shoulder.
     "Oh, Rad, could you have Glum fly out to the parking lot?" China
asked.  "Dr. Gigawatt says he thinks that the nectarisitic energy she
soaked up might be just the thing to render inert the control chips in
the zombies and ninjas.  She does that, then Dr. Tirkoff can heal any
residual damage."
     "Like, what about the, y'know, monkeys and stuff?"
     "Manny says 'monkeys all gone,'" China replied, after a few
moments.  "The ones who didn't get to the sphere-ships just teleported
away.  Not surprising, especially if Capella had them working around
here before today.  The goats are helping out with the wounded,
though.  Looks like the fighting's basically over.  Oh, one more
thing?"
     "Like, what?"
     "The strip mall," said China.  "Totally not our fault."
     "Like---"
     He was interrupted by the sound of a large crash coming from
somewhere to the west.
     "We managed to keep the _Subtler Than Light_ from landing in the
ocean," China went on, after the major rumbling ended.  "But I think
the Venice Chamber of Commerce is going to want a word with us."
     "Like, okay," said Rad.  He told Glum, Rumi, and Esteban what he
had just told China.  Rumi seemed very startled when he mentioned the
name of Capella's ship, but did not say why.
     "At least the stadium itself wasn't damaged," said Esteban, as he
looked around.  "Pretty remarkable, considering all the fighting that
was---"
     The entirety of the stadium along the first base line abruptly
shattered and collapsed, as Mighty Guy burst through and landed.  His
landing took out a good portion of the outfield, as well as the
portion of the stadium at the boundary of left field.  Mighty Guy flew
back, causing only moderate damage as he landed close to Rad and the
others.
     "It appears that the forces of good have again prevailed!" Mighty
Guy declared, causing more sections of the stadium to teeter and
collapse.  "And we have caught Dana Wader, as well!  By the name of my
father, Bore-All, truly it is a good day for truth and justice!"
     "Like, yah, Mighty Dude," said Rad, who had, in fact, lost his
hearing after the first syllable.  "Let's, like, go join the others,
like, y'know?"
     After pantomiming the idea to Glum, Rumi, and Esteban, they
lifted into the night sky, flying back to their friends, and the
aftermath of victory.  It had been, Rad thought, a very long day.

WILL GLUM BE ABLE TO HELP THE PSEUDO-ZOMBIES AND PSEUDO-NINJAS?
WILL RAD END UP SLEEPING PAST SUNRISE BECAUSE OF THIS?
WILL RUMI TELL HER PARENTS ABOUT HER VISION OF CAPELLA AND THE
    _SUBTLER THAN LIGHT_?
WILL ESTEBAN FIND HIS WAY OUT OF THE CLOSET?
WILL MIGUEL FIND OUT ABOUT ESTEBAN AND LEMON?
WILL LEMON GET DANA WADER'S AUTOGRAPH?
WILL ERASMUS FANCY REVEAL WHY HE BOTHERED RESCUING THE PROGRAMMER?
WILL THE PROGRAMMER EVER MAKE IT BACK DOWN TO THE UNDERGROUND HIGHWAY?
WILL CAPELLA RETURN WITH A BETTER SHIP, OR AT LEAST MORE MONKEYS?
WILL ELIZABETH GIVE KIRBY A TIME-OUT?
WILL KIRBY EXPLAIN HOW HE GOT DOWN FROM THE _VANDER HARKNESS_ TO THE
    BATTLE, OR IS THAT SELF-EVIDENT?
WILL CENDRA FIGURE OUT WHY SHE'S ABLE TO SHAPESHIFT INTO APPEARING AS
    VARIOUS MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES?
WILL SILAS AND BARNABY GO BACK TO FILMMAKING WITH TEMPLAR?
WILL THE AUTHOR COME UP WITH MORE COMBAT SCENES THAT GIVE HIM AN
    EXCUSE TO USE THE WORD 'BLUNDERBUSS'?

I could ask questions all day.  Read SUPERGUY.
--
Elizabeth Tirkoff and Kirby Rogers appear with permission of
Eric A. Burns-White.
--
Copyright (c) 2009 by Gary W. Olson.  All Rights Reserved.
--
Gary W. Olson
swede at novitious dot com
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