SG: Spotlight On... Iamfacingdestruction.com #36
frobozz at eyrie.org
Mon Nov 19 17:13:11 PST 2007
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March 12th, 2007 - spooky
powfrs out. phones ott. still got my cellphone texting this post.
hering noise outsid. kin3 ofscared. going now going to run frmy truck
March 5th, 2007 - Partner stopped returning my calls
Elvis damn it, I can't get through at all to my partner. I guess he's
had it. I guess that's it for this deal. I guess that's it for my life.
Maybe I should just publish my GPS coordinates here and let folks hunting
me come and play. I've almost done it three times now. I came so close
that I barely managed to hit the stop button on my browser before I
splashed where I lived all over teh interwebz.
But y'know what? My angries aren't worth supervillain-assisted suicide.
Sorry, that's just the way it works. I know at least one of you was hoping
I'd pack it in because of you, but you're just going to have to go on
waiting for that blessed event.
That said, SOMEONE has managed to find out where I live. I've been
getting those calls, the ones that just ring till you answer and then hang
up. At first it was happening at all hours, but now it's usually just
during the day when the phone rattles off the hook.
If this is happened because of one of you, PLEASE DO ME A FAVOUR AND
KEEP YOUR STUPID JOKES TO YOURSELF. Also, JUST PLAIN STOP CALLING ME. I'm
already a nervous wreck as it is and this is making it a hundred, no, a
thousand times worse. Just remember, you're playing with a man's life when
you fool around with this stuff. Try to remember that it's NOT a videogame
you're playing and that you can't reload from a save point if you get me
The only good bright point in all of this, anyone notice how quiet LC's
been? I guess they finally worked the bugs out of the ban code.
R -- Enough with the webcomic, okay? Do you feel me?
February 23rd, 2007 - Book setbacks
Publisher has informed me that the negative press plus what he
perceives to be breaches in our agreement (which, incidentally, is NOT how
I see them) has put our project in serious trouble.
Also, the personal harassment one or more of you are dishing out is
pushing him to the edge.
I don't know what to tell you good folks. My life is about to be tugged
down around my ears. I don't really care who's causing me trouble, but
stop it. Now. I mean it. If you have to vent your spleen, do it in the
comments section. That's where anger GOES. That's been our social contract
since I started this blog. I've never censored you and I never will, so
let it all out -there-, but leave my -life- alone. Capiche? Good.
I've been pretty good to all of you, even to my angries. Especially to
my angries. Who else would just keep smiling and let you go on poking at
me with pointed sticks for your own amusement? Not a whole lot of other
folks, that's who! In fact, pretty much just me, the saint on teh
And this is what you do in return? You try your damned best to ruin the
tiny parts of my life that weren't ALREADY ruined? The book's as good as
dead in the water and there're sharks swimming around it, just waiting for
me to get a bigger boat. This book deal wasn't hurting anyone. It was my
great, shining hope for putting my life back together after it had gotten
blown apart. So thank you. Thank you all SO much. I'm not sure why I'm not
taking my blog down and walking away from it forever. I'm SO close to
R -- Please stop with the webcomic. It was funny before, but now I'm
just so sick of it. Thnx.
Mood: So furious I'm bulletproof
February 3rd, 2007 - My stress-filled life
It never seems to stop, does it? Ever? When do I get a break?
Well it looks like one of my angries went above and beyond the call of
duty here. Yeah, you're really earning yourself a place in history,
whoever you are. -Someone- decided to point a few of the families to my
Now I wasn't going to use any real names. I'd never do that to one of
the families I affected. The names, though not the events, were all going
to be made up... to protect them all. But it seems that this fact is being
-ignored- by those people. Yeah, it seems that I haven't paid enough for
my mistakes; now they're banding together and trying to block the book
deal. Oh sure, free speech and all that protects my right to publish, but
it's a lie what they say about bad press being good press. After just a
week of this my partner has hit the roof, my backers are getting nervous
and my future is looking just SO DUCKY.
Hell(tm), the only... -only-... bright spot in all of this is that
Cass' parents are keeping out of this. Thank you, Hank and Marge. You're
the only people in this situation showing any class whatsoever. You know
what? Maybe you -other- families could take a lesson from Mr and Mrs
MÂmÂre. I've done everything I humanly could to make things up to you
all, and time and again you've thrown that back in my face. I'm sorry for
-everything- I put you through, but isn't it time that we move on with our
lives? All of us? I'm trying to take my life in a direction that -isn't-
the complete definition of Suck and this isn't exactly helping.
And if that's not enough, I've been asked in no uncertain terms to not
bother getting in contact with what few friends and family I had left to
me after the mistake. Seems someone's been digging around about me, asking
questions of those folks who used to know me, and it's freaking them all
Any chance that whoever's doing this could, um, stop? I'm serious, feel
free to hate me on this blog, but could you leave my REAL LIFE OUT OF IT?
I mean Elvis, this might all be like a great big ARG for you guys with
the prize for winning being seeing me crash and burn, but this is my
*life* you're fooling around with. Have you all completely lost your sense
of reality or something? No, don't bother answering that. I already know
the answer, and trust me, it ain't flattering.
I know I'm supposed to be your dancing jester. I'm supposed to dance
and make you feel superior to someone. Truth is, I think part of why you
want me to fail is because I at least had the guts to live the way you
couldn't even dare to dream. You know, it's the age-old story, you can't
have heroes without having hero envy and when one of us slips low enough
to be dragged down into the dirt, you do so as a sacrifice to your
LEAVE ME AND MINE ALONE! I don't deserve any of this!
January 22nd, 2007 - No takebacks on the internet
My partner just sent me word that I maybe should avoid talking about
things you don't already know about. I'm starting to feel like I'm getting
total mixed messages from him. First he wants me to advertise for him and
then he's trying to pull the plug. What gives? Didn't he say that this
blog was an advertising channel for the book?
LC, I don't know HOW you managed to get around your ban, but I've
contacted my hosting company (Dreamweave Hosting for those of you who're
looking for a good one, plug, plug, plug, remember, click on my links and
keep the hatred alive!) and they're looking into it. I guess if nothing
else you've helped expose a security flaw, right?
And consider your ban permanent. Do you kiss your mother with the mouth
you screed with?
Randy -- Hah hah. Very cute webcomic. Two things. First, my nose isn't
that big. And second, you might want to consider not using my real name in
the strip. The past couple installments have come -pretty- close to
defamation, at least as far as a (talented) layman can see. Right now we
can both afford to laugh about your funnypage, but when my book comes out
and I'm a published author, you might find yourself having to cease and
desist. Just consider it a friendly warning so you can plan ahead! Who
says I don't look out for my angries?
January 17th, 2007 - I think details are necessary
I know the timing on me yanking down this blog was suspicious, but it
didn't happen just because of the outpouring of anger and hate I received
last November. Well, at least it wasn't -entirely- due to that, even if
the comments section is -still- glowing hot enough to cook a steak over.
And yes, before you all ask, I -did- go back and remove LC's incoherent
hate-fest and all the followups to it. I'm trying to make a fresh start
online and in my life, and part of that fresh start involves dropping as
much baggage as I can. That includes dumping those rare comments that stab
me in the gut like a white-hot knife. Sorry LC and I hope you enjoy your
ten-day ban. Take the down-time to disengage mouth and reengage brain,
But here's the deal about why things went away. Just after I dropped
that last post onto my blog, I got a call from my partner and we had what
gentlemen refer to as a 'difference of opinions', and what you all would
call a 'fight'.
To sum it up with as little finger-pointing as possible, my partner
thinks NDA means one thing and I think NDA means another.
Our first talk went pretty badly, and being blunt, you guys snooping
out his identity and bothering him didn't help a bit. So once again, I'm
dealing not just with my own sins but with someone else's too.
Our second talk didn't go so well either. We were trying to discuss
damage control contingencies, but that went less than well. In fact, it
turned into a screaming match. It looked like this was it for me and my
plans, and the deal was good and scotched.
The problem with using negative energy for your emotional power source
is that when it finally turns on you -- and it always will -- it -really-
turns on you. I guess that's the reason I tore down my blog. When your
life has been nothing but broken dreams and shattered hopes, having your
hopes and dreams shattered ONCE AGAIN is kind of tough to deal with, you
But as it turns out, pulling down the blog was the worst possible thing
I could've done, because my partner got even more pissed at me over it
<eyeroll>. Seems that if we had to go public with all the book information
due to my loose lips, the blog was potentially good advertising for my
project... which is pretty much exactly what I said, what, last year?
Maybe? Once again, my angries, I'm a visionary who's ahead of my time.
Well then consider the billboard back up and advertising my book at the
side of the information superhighway. And since part of my duties now
involve advertising for my upcoming project, let me let you in on a little
tidbit to get your mouths watering (and your knives a-sharpening) for more
news: there's more than a book coming out. Yes, you heard it here first
(because c'mon, where else would you hear any news about this?), I'm
releasing more than -just- a book about my experiences! I can't say too
much about it, but keep your eyes peeled for more juicy clues!
November 28th, 2006 - Profiting from the past?
I know I said a lot of things last week that I shouldn't've. FWIW, I'm
sorry about flying off the handle. You guys know you're still the wind
beneath my wings and all that crap.
This doesn't mean that I still agree with what LC and her little cadre
of supporters are saying about the book project. I have every right to
turn my giant lemon of a life into a pitcher of Life-Time Lemonade. It
would be really, really nice to actually not feel like a giant pile of
feces for, you know, once in my life but hey, I keep you guys around to
make sure I don't ever wander too far from the fecal pile!
LC, you keep talking about how I act like I'm a victim in all of this,
and that I'm not properly contrite. Well if you'd maybe think about it a
little from my point of view, you'd realise that gosh, maybe I am a bit of
a victim in all of this. Please remember, I didn't hurt anyone on purpose,
and in fact my last 'mistake' was to save a life at her PARENTS REQUEST.
And what did I get for all of it? For trying to do nothing but help
people? I got hunted and I got slammed left and right and I got to live in
a little shack that barely keeps out the wind at the best of times.
How... I'm serious, how... exactly is this not being a victim? I was
busted by fate so now I'm trying to be the Author of my own life. If
that's 'profiting' from my past, then maybe you guys need to drop a bit of
the judgement and develop a little empathy and just accept that I'm going
to profit a little?
Yes, as a matter of fact I -do- intend to get back into superguying one
day, at least once I've learned the limits of my powers. Figure out how to
use them without hurting anyone. Yes, I'm not sure what anyone with powers
like mine can do without causing hurt, but you know what? -Anything- can
be a useful tool if you use it right.
Again, if this is 'profiting' then maybe I deserve a little profit
after all I've lost. Maybe some central heating. And maybe not having to
wonder every day and every night if the sounds outside mean that someone
who wants me dead has just found me. Yeah, put that in your pipes and
smoke it. I'm glad you're all so great at dishing out God's justice. Judge
not and all that.
November 20th, 2006 - How Work is Going
For those of you who've been asking, it's NOT EASY TO WRITE A BOOK.
This is the case because it's NOT easy to sit down and pour out all
your mistakes and problems onto a page that you KNOW is going to be read
It's even HARDER when your partner is ALREADY pissed off at you and
gets MORE pissed off because your little pod of unwell-wishers figured out
who he is.
I said what I did last month so that you kids would know how my work
was going. Well thanks, little Sherlocks, for doing your Google-magic to
find and pester him. You Freaky Phantoms are just making my life SO MUCH
EASIER. Maybe next you'd like to kick me in the nuts, how's that?
Elvis-damn it, I should just take down this blog again. Maybe then the
people here would start leaving us alone. So I could GET SOME WRITING DONE
and maybe not alienate the only person who seems to give a rat's ass about
Also, I do NOT give out my personal location for a REASON, or actually
TWO. One, I don't have TIME to be bothered by people who want to come by
and tell me what a bad person I am and how I deserve everything that I
got. And two, maybe just maybe I don't give out my current location
because there are STILL SUPER-POWERED PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL ME. Are you
people so stupid that you don't understand that I want to stay secluded
for a REASON?
I already told you my opinion of people who could 'guard' me. I'd be
even worse off than I am NOW if I went to them. Don't force me into that
choice. It's suicide. I know it.
Sometimes I don't know why I bother. Screw you all.
October 7th, 2006 - A reply to my haters
LC, I know I promised I'd never mention you on this blog again, but I
think I need to break my vow to address your screed over yesterday's post,
once and for all.
Yes, as a matter of fact I do believe that I deserve another chance.
Yes, I'm sorry for what happened to those people, but I'm also trying to
make up for what happened. I'm sorry you think that I'm not doing enough
for the people I hurt, but you know what? I've tried to do more. I've
tried apologizing to them and their families, and you know just how well
that worked. Eventually you have to stop dwelling on the past and start
thinking about your own life and where you want it to go. Well, after much
thought I realised that I have a gift and I think my future involves using
it to help as many people as possible. If I followed your advice, I'd
never be able to help anyone ever again, and isn't that really worse than
trying to make a difference? What's the point of that again? So no, if
helping people with a book is what I've got available to me as the first
step on my path to becoming a better person, then that's what I've got.
I've got a boatload of lemons and I'm looking for enough sugar to turn
them into lemonade (or maybe enough vodka to make the world's biggest
lemon vodka cocktail ^_^).
You aren't a superguy, at least as far as I can tell from your profile
(and if I'm wrong, let me know and post your superguy name and secret ID,
LOL!) so you really aren't in a position to judge me here. That goes for
all of you angries reading my blog. That's really how I deal with all your
negative energy: I realise that it's misdirected, and I take it and make
it into my wings, and I fly high on what you think is going to drag me
back down to earth.
I do in fact think that I'm doing enough to repent for what I did. And
I do -not- think that hunting down some ditzy telepath to get my powers
taken away is -productive- or -helpful- to -anyone-. I'm charting my own
course and we'll see who's right in the end. Here's a hint: it'll be me.
To my other angries? Please, please, *please* just get over yourselves.
Haxx00rattax00r -- your comparison is completely flawed. You're right,
legally criminals can't profit from their crime, but I am -not- a
criminal. I made a mistake, and that's it. I'm not hiding out from the
law, I'm hiding out from people who think I haven't suffered enough for
what happened. So no, I don't think that 'any idiot can clearly see' that
I don't deserve to profit from this book, either by cred or by money.
Anyway, it's always been my intention to split half the proceeds with the
families of my accident, so take from that what you will, okay?
Screamfan -- Your taste in movies sucks. So do your opinions. Grow up.
Luke -- Thank you. You know, it's been so long since anyone's wished me
well (or at least wished me well and was actually being sincere) that I
almost died of shock when I read your comment. It's people like you who
really understand me and get what I'm trying to do. Please buy a bunch of
copies of my book! ^_^
October 6th, 2006 - Starting to work on a book
Yes, you read me right. My partner is going to kill me, but what the
heck(sm)? Advance buzz is still buzz, and the way I look at it, I'm
actually doing him a favour by talking about our plans to the people who
know me best, you guys (how sad is that?).
Can't say too much about the book, but it's going to be interesting to
everyone, from disgraced superguys to my angries! Start planning your
Christmas gift-giving now! (LOL, just kidding -- not really!)
October 4th, 2006 - Roadblocks towards restoring credibility
There's really only one thing that any superguy wants, and anyone who
tells you different is either an idiot or a liar. But what we want...
really, what we all want... is cred. Let's face it, if the 'Mob' shows up
at your door, you're going to open it and say 'come on in!' If Mighty Guy
shows up and knocks on your door, you're going to slam it closed the
second you see who's behind it. Not that it's going to do a damned bit of
good to close that door, but maybe he'll accidentally break into your
neighbour's place instead of yours. Know what I mean?
So I admit it. I blew all my cred all at once with my big mistake, and
my angries won't ever let me forget about it. Remember what I said about
negative energy, though? I've decided to use the same principle to deal
with my negative cred. I've got a story, and it's not a fun one, but it's
mine. Well, I'm going to use that story to restore what I've lost. I
really shouldn't even be telling you this much, since my partner
(currently silent! Hey, I wonder if he's Mime Man in disguise. LOL. I'll
ask him) is going to scream at me for saying this much, but you know and I
know that if I don't feed my angries every so often, they get all grumpy
from low blood sugar. So chew over these here hints, peeps.
JoshXXXenoform - Yes, I consider the issue settled. She asked, I
answered. She didn't like the answer and now she's expressing herself in
the only language her generation knows: teh interwebz dramaz OMG LOL HTH
HAND. As far as this blog and its autocrat are concerned, her issue is
closed and the Trash-Heap has spoken. I don't want to hear another word
about LC on this blog, and I'm going to start that particular ball rolling
by pledging to not devote another -word- to dealing with her damage.
But anyway. You know what credibility is? It's... it's everything in
the world of high adventure. It's what superguys spend instead of cash.
You need help from the M.E.C.H.A.ns? If your cred is high, they'll come
running at your call faster than you can say 'totsugeki'. But if you're a
nobody, then you can't even get Space Moose to show up as entertainment at
your kid's birthday party.
Know what's worse than having no cred, though? I'll give you a hint,
it's having negative cred. Most people don't really think about it, and
most superguys don't give it even a first thought, but when you're in
disgrace you don't exactly have a lot of options for where to go next. If
you screw up as mightily as I have then you're expected to lay down the
cape and sort of fade off into the sunset. Or maybe you could do something
huge to redeem yourself, usually involving flying headlong into a demonic
invasion, which is what we'll call the 'noble but terminal' path. Or,
well, if you really are sick of it all you can take the easy route and
switch to batting for the other team and take up the villain path. Some
people have been saying that with what I did, that I'm already batting
cleanup for the noble opposition.
Well you know what I say? I say screw that. There's NWIH that I'm
dropping out of the biz-nis just because of a stupid mistake I made; I'm
allergic to sacrificing my life for my props; and most of all, I'm no
villain no matter what LC tries to claim about me.
Sure a lot of superguys have screwed up in the past, but I don't think
anyone's ever screwed up as completely and totally as I did but still
managed to keep their pride. And since I'm in a completely unique position
here, I think that I can help out future generations of the breed by
sharing my experiences with everyone. This, my angries, is my path to
redemption. This is the fourth path, and I'm the first one who's ever
going to walk down it, so hold onto your hats (and your hates) because
we're entering uncharted waters here! I'm going to rebuild my cred by
helping superguys who mess up and need to dig their way back out. -That's-
what's behind this blog, and -that's- what I'm all about now.
I think you're all going to agree that it's the best thing I could
possibly do with my time and my past mistakes. Keep watching the site for
more details about where I go next!
September 12th, 2006 - What Happened?
That's got to have been the longest comments section any post on this
blog has ever got. Took me a whole day just to read through it all but
it's not like I don't have plenty of time on my hands, is it?
I think my angries are completely divided down the middle about whether
I'm a worse person for what I said to LadyC and what I didn't say to you
To LadyC and her defenders? I've said what I feel. Keep posting if you
want (just remember to click on the ads once you have! Hosting this blog
ain't free, you know), but don't expect me to say another word about it. I
don't owe you any more explanation than I've already given. You try making
a mistake as big as mine and then carry around -all- the guilt that
-everyone- wants you to and see how long you last. Sometimes I think
you're all just trying to get me to slit my wrists over what happened to
little Cassie, but I'm sorry that's just not happening. Well, I've said my
last word on this subject. If you're not satisfied with it, then you can
just suck it up.
To everyone else? Fine. I can tell that I won't get a moment's peace if
I don't tell you at least some of what's been going on in my life.
Obviously I can't tell you everything, but I can give you -something-...
specifically, I've got an iron in the fire, and I'm not allowed to talk
about it... but trust me, it's big. And it's something that I really think
I deserve to get. Well, I'll give you a hint about what this is about:
it's a way for me to really tell my side of the story in a way that this
blog never could. That's it, though! That's all I can say. Don't ask me
for anything else!
Oh, and PS. To StaRT? I -know- that the term 'splendid isolation'
predates Zevon. I was just trying to inject a little class into this blog
with a cool reference, but whatever.
September 8th, 2006 - I AM RETURNED!
So you guys thought that you could get rid of me so easily, hunh? What
would life be without the superguy blogger you most love to hate?
Okay, I said that this blog was going to vanish forever, and at the
time I said that I really meant that. Really, I thought that I was just
going to pull the plug and live out the rest of my life in Zevonish
splendid isolation. Because let me tell you something. When your life all
falls apart at once, you start to wonder why you're being the kind of
person who can be hated by half the internet and still keep on smiling.
Oh yes, my life decided to fall apart all at once. So for those of you
who were yelling and screaming about how your daily source of
entertainment went away, just trust me, it's bad enough to justify me
walking away and leaving you all behind.
Two weeks after I walked away, I realised that I'd turned my back on
the real source of my power. No, not my Inner Glow... though that's also
the true source of my power, I guess, kind of... but my angries.
You'd think that having a few hundred strangers check out my blog
-daily- just hoping to see me get another slap in the face would make a
guy feel worse about his life, but I say thee nay! My angries give me
strength, you know? It's like Newton's law that if you push in one
direction, then you're going to move in another. Well, a guy... even a
superguy... needs to push to keep his critics from tearing him apart. I
guess that when I push against your negativity, I push myself towards the
positive. And so to get back the strength I need to deal with life, I'm
back here to push and shove until I can move the world. Okay, not
literally move the world. It's not like I'm Giantguy. But you know what I
So look. I ruined eight lives, but I was just trying to help. I've said
this before and I guess I'll just have to keep on saying it until someone
finally -listens- to what I'm saying. My power involves giving other
people powers, so -anything- I do as a professional superguy is going to
involve working around other people. I'm sorry that so many people got
hurt, but would you all just get it through your heads that I didn't
-know- that my Inner Light had side-effects? Elvis, I swear, it's like you
think I turned these people into monsters just because I wanted to screw
with their heads or their lives or something. Get a grip, will you? I'm
just a good guy who screwed up a bit, that's all. And think about it from
my perspective for a second... I have powers, but I can't ever -use- them
again or else I ruin a ninth life. I bet you can't even guess how -that-
feels. Here's a hint: crappy.
I guess I owe some of you a few responses to your comments from before
I took down the site. Don't let it be said that I ignore my little angries
when they want something from me.
TobyB - Have I considered just throwing myself into the custody of the
police or even Aurora? Are you high? Hey angries, TobyB's high! No. I have
not thought about turning myself in. First, I haven't broken any laws
that're worth the paper they're written on, so the police are out. I've
thought maybe about going to Aurora to see if they can protect me, but you
know what? They've got their own problems, dealing with the cleanup from
that whole invasion thing, so I wouldn't exactly get world-class
protection if you know what I mean. So no, TobyB, looks like I'm going to
stay a free-agent for as long as I can.
Demonstealer - I tried talking to a couple of the families involved.
You know where that got me? Exactly nowhere, okay? I tried it twice and
-both- times I got hung up on before I could finish saying 'sorry'. Maybe
I'll try again when people will actually hear me out, but if you angries
are anything to go by, that's not going to be happening any time soon.
H8tR - Screw you. I don't want to try using my powers on myself, not
after what happened the last time. It's not like I'm not used to taking
risks, right? I'm on the lam from two monsters and an evil little girl who
grew up too fast, so why would I want to screw myself over and give them
time to lock onto me? Sorry H8tR, I guess I'm just going to have to live
with you not thinking that I have any stones, to misquote you. It's hard,
but I'll just have to muddle on.
And LadyC - Yeah, I've thought plenty about what you asked. Trust me,
it's the part that I can't get out of my head. But in the end, no, it
doesn't make a difference to me that one of the people I changed was a
little girl. Oh don't get me wrong, it's awful as Hell(tm), but her
-mother- asked me to do it. And let's face facts here, I saved her life by
doing it. So I feel like crap about changing Cassie, but I don't feel any
more craplike than I do about any of the others I changed. Heck(sm), I
might even feel a little better about her since like I said, at least she
has a -life- because of me.
Anyway, that's all I've got. I've said it before, and I'll say it
again, even though it won't make a bit of difference: don't be hating.
As usual, this story is trademarked, all rights reserved 2007 to
Frobozz/Chris Angelini (email:frobozz at eyrie.org, homepage:
http://www.eyrie.org/~frobozz). No trademark infringement is intended nor
implied. If anyone wants to buy the above domain for me, feel free!
frobozz at eyrie.org
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E W++ N+ !o !K w++(-) O? M++ V? PS+ PE Y PGP
t+ 5++ X+ R+++ tv+ b+++ DI+ D++ G e++>+++ h- r* z?
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