SG: WCD #40 Part two of two

Lawrence Brown lbrown at
Thu Jun 15 21:54:07 PDT 2006

Foxy and Spectrum rode down a London street, enjoying the ambiance of a busy
city at night.  It had been a fairytale evening for Foxy.  A Queen and a
palace, a marriage proposal from a knight in shining armor, capped off with a
carriage ride after a quiet dinner in an Indian Restaurant.  While England is
known for poor food in general, there are some eateries that rival any other,
anywhere.  Randall had pointed them toward a few. Since the ceremony had them
in full uniform, they'd stayed in costume the rest of the day. Something
about good PR for the team, Randall had said.


"Hey Foxy..."


"Yes, Sailor?"


"You seem a bit lost in thought. Something on your mind?"


"Well, its silly, but the evening has gone so perfectly, so far.  I keep
expecting something to happen, like a giant demon to appear or an alien ship
to land, or something."


"Well, knowing my author, I can say that it would be really like him to do
that now."  He leaned forward and planted a passionate kiss.  "Hmmm. Well,
that is one stereotypical moment for disaster to strike."  He pulled her back
into a clinch and kissed her again long enough for her to start giggling.
"Yep.  I guess that's not going to trigger the disaster."


Foxy grinned, enjoying the game. "So, if we were to say something like
'Nothing's going to ruin th---mnpth!!'" Spectrum withdrew his hand.  "Hey...
O-kay.  Lets not try to mess things up.  Maybe we can just go back to your
method."  They kissed yet again. "I like your method better anyway."


The kindly old man driving the carriage smiled and looked back, "Once more
around the park then?  Might as well... it's a beautiful night, a real pip,
and the traffics light.  What could possibly go wrong?"


"AARGH!" The pair chorused.


The horse startled and the driver had to quickly turn back around and soothe
the animal. After a moment, the horse settled back down to a sedate trot.
"Ach" The man said as he adjusted his nametag, 'MURPHY'...his eyes glittered
a moment. "Something I said?"


As they passed near an entrance to a subway station, a lorry roared up to the
curb and a dozen arabs in robes and turbans, with scarves covering their
faces piled out of the vehicle, yelling "Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah!" They grabbed
boxes of equipment from the cargo area and bustled down the stairs into the


"That reminded me of an old popeye cartoon..." Spectrum chuckled. 


"Oooo. Popeye." Foxy smiled, "Gotta love that man. No taste in women, but
hey, he's a straight shooter and a devoted uncle."


"Bloody Ragheads, all those problems over in Dewsbury, yew think they'd be
keeping a low profile.  See here now... They left that lorry running."  The
coachman clucked at his horse and increased its pace.  "Bedamned if I'm
staying near that with old trotter."  


"Well, I guess that's our cue to scope things out." Spectrum said.  "I don't
want to see another Alfred P. Murrah situation."  Let's have a look.


After quickly paying the carriage driver, the pair approached the large
truck.  Spectrum, opening the drivers side shouted, "Good grief!  They moved
the steering wheel!"


"Very funny Lawrence." Foxy fished around under the seat on the steering
wheel side and pulled out an empty can of tuna. "Phew."


Spectrum opened the glove box and pulled out some hastily printed flyers.
"A-l-l-a? M-o-e-h-a-m-h-e-a-d?"  He spelled the words aloud. "Either these
guys are really poor terrorists, or their spellchecker is on the fritz."


"Yeah? Well, I would like to meet their weapons seller." Foxy extracted a .44
Magnum Desert Eagle Pistol from the floorboard on the opposite side. She
checked the load. "Weird. Look at this, every bullet is different."


"Hmm... talon, armor piecing, tracer, hollowpoint, and a couple more I have
no idea what. Someone likes some variety in their ammo, but it doesn't make
sense to do it that way."


Foxy turned around and put the pistol in her pocket


"That the same pocket you put the umbrella?" Spectrum watched her with some
curiosity, "That's just too cool. Lets check the back of the truck." 


"Careful, it might be boobytrapped."


"I have a little reserve power in the suit.  I'll go on the internal air to
be safe."  Spectrum wished he had some sort of xray vision but there wasn't
much choice, just had to open it a crack to see.  Unlatching the sliding
door, he lifted it up a crack.There was a small box in the middle of the back
of the truck. He released the door and it retracted up to the top. "Looks
like the back is cleaned out, Foxy..." Foxy's gasp caused him to whirl around
again in time to see the box suddenly


"...and without warning" Foxy interjected.


Yes.  Without warning, the box sprouted arms and legs and staggered to its
feet. 9 inches tall, it turned to face the pair as a small LCD screen glowed
to life. "Hello there!  I am a bomb!"


Foxy stared at the device. With the bomb standing in the truck and Foxy
standing on the ground outside, the pair were at eye level. "Um.  Hello Bomb.
How are you?"


"Wonderful!" The bomb enthused. "Golly!  It's a beautiful night to be alive!"


"Excuse me?" Foxy interrupted..  "You're alive?  What are you supposed to be


"Well, since you asked, I'm supposed to wait for tomorrow's rush hour and
then I am supposed to explode. That is, unless the police find me before
that, then I am supposed to blow up immediately and do lots of damage.  Are
you a policeman?" 


"NO!" Spectrum replied hastily.


"Oh, good.  Then I don't have to blow up yet.  That would be a shame, 'cuz
one only gets to go round once.   Is it rush hour yet?"


"No bomb." Foxy replied gently. "It won't be rush hour for a while."


"Whats your name?"  The bomb's screen displayed a happy face.


"Foxy. Who told you to do this?" 


"Why, my owners!  They are great aren't they? Only..."

"WHAT?" Spectrum asked.


The screen re-rezed into a frown.  "You are being rude.  I was talking with


"Sorry..." Spectrum began, "I've never talked to a bomb before. Go ahead


"Yep! I'm the latest technology!  But, Foxy, can I ask you something?  What's
a policeman?  My owners weren't very specific and it's hard to do a good job
without enough information.  And when is rush hour?


"Well, a policeman is a tall guy with tentacles coming out of his face, and
he wears antlers and a big red nose!  And rush hour is an expression.  When
someone makes me mad I'll say, 'Goodness its Rush Hour' and then I run away."


"WOW." The bomb gushed. Its display switching to anime eyes and a huge grin.
"Thanks!  Now I can fulfill my purpose and make my owners sooooo happy!"


"Bomb, would you excuse Foxy and me for a minute?"  Spectrum led Foxy away
and whispered in her ear?  "What are you doing?"


"Relax!" She whispered back, "As long as we keep him away from Cthulhu during
the holiday costume party, we are safe." 




"OY!" The bomb echoed back.  "You guys going somewhere?"


"Well, actually, we were thinking of following your owners down to the
subway.  Any idea what they are doing down there?"


"Oh, not much, they just had some boxes to leave down there." 


"So whats in the boxes? More bombs like you?"


"Oh gosh no!  Why I'm far too expensive for them to have a box of me.  But
with me you get a lot of bang for the buck!  You want to see what I can do?
I can take out half this city block!"


"No thank you..." Foxy quickly replied. "Its probably better you save
yourself for doing your job.  It sounds like you are too important to waste."


"Well, if you are going with the owners, you better be wearing a mask like
they do all the time."  The bomb waddled to the far corner of the truck and
snagged a wadded up rubber mask.


"Um, right.  Thank you bomb!"


"Happy to be of help!  Anytime! At least until I blow up that is, but hey I
might as well enjoy life while I can. You coming back soon?  I'd hate to miss
you saying rush hour while you were away."


Foxy reached out and very gently patted the bomb on the head while it beamed

"I'll tell you what, bomb.  If I don't come back, but your owners do, then
its officially rush hour. Otherwise I will be sure to let you know when I see
you again.  Okay?" 


"Super! Boy won't my owners be pleased to see me explode!"


Foxy waved, and then Spectrum and the Vixen darted down the stairs.


The bomb sat on the tailgate, cheerfully swinging his legs.





"Nintan?" Spectrum asked.


"Yes! All hail the glorious Nintan army!" One of the robed characters




"You!  Get down on those tracks and lie down.  You get down there next to
him!" The second remark was directed to Foxy as the captor gestured. 


"Tying us to the railroad tracks?" Foxy muttered, "Talk about old school..."


Spectrum glared at his captor as he was tied down.  Behind the rubbery mask,
dead eyes, lifeless insectoid eyes, stared back at him.


As Foxy was being secured, the 'arab' paused a moment to stroke her tail.  A
barely perceptible rumble came from behind the mask. Foxy twitched her tail
away angrily. "Keep your hands off me you, you, monster!"


"Bring me--the box!" One of the Dick Van Dykes, apparently wearing a mask
from the 'Diagnosis Murder' days, walked up and presented the leader with a
slim metallic box about 6 inches long. Laughing wickedly, the leader
extracted a something dark and hairy, and turned away from the pair. Slowly
he turned to face them. "Mwah-ha-hah-hah!" Sporting a dark handlebar
mustache, he twirled it evilly with one fingertip.

"You have blundered your way into our evil plans, you foolish heroes.  It is
obvious that our original plan to blame these murders on Islamic terrorists
will not fool someone like you. 

The others chanted, "Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah!"


"Shut up!" The leader rasped, "I just said that they have seen through that."
They know who we truly are!"


"H*?-MPGH!" One of the other Van Dykes attempted to speak and was muffled
instantly by the others.


"Yes!  Ho-Ho indeed!" You fools are no match for the superior might of the
Nintan armada!"




"Nintan?" Foxy asked.




"Yes! Mwhahahahah!" The leader gloated, pausing to reattach the mustache.


"But why would the Nintan..." Spectrum started.




"Look, if you are going to keep interrupting us, this is going to take


"Sorry." The others chorused.


"If you are such a glorious army why are you going to so much trouble?"
Spectrum asked. "Why not just land the ships, blow away the opposition, and
break for lunch?"


"Why, to sow confusion among your nations. Your planet is a powder keg and
all it will take are some carefully planned events to tip the scales into a
world-wide chaotic war. You so easily accept the lie that it is another group
attacking you and then you charge in guns blazing.  They'll assume it's a
terrorist plot, or if they find your bodies, they may think it was a rogue
supervillian! Then, once you have beaten each other senseless, we can swoop
in and take over!  It's a brilliant plan!"


Two of the others held up cardboard masks of classic gentlemen with one hand,
a Guinness beer in the other. "Brilliant!"


The leader massaged his temples.  "It's not the interruptions, it's the fact
that they brought beer and didn't share with us." He turned and fired his
weapon at one of the two cardboard wearing men, and the target was vaporized,
leaving an unpleasant smell of burnt wool, cardboard, rubber, fur, beer and
chitin. "Where was I?"


"Confusion, chaos, world domination, mwahah-hah, I think you were going to
explain what you were going to do to us or your evil plan, or something."
Foxy offered.


"Ah yes!  Even if they manage to discover that it is the Nintan invasion




"It'll be too late!  Our armada gathers at the Canis Major Dwarf Galaxy and
once they are arrayed there is nothing short of your entire planet's
superhero force that would have any chance of beating us!"  He paused to
twirl his mustache. "Mwhah hah hah ha ha!" He directed the others to plant
the bombs further down the track, while he strode past the bound superguys to
the railroad switch.  "Now, this siding is linked to the main line, and just
to be sure you don't get creative..." He fired his weapon into the control
panel and the switch was locked in the open position.  "Now you will either
be blamed for the attack or you will be another poor victim of the terrorist
bombings. Farewell!"


As the villains bustled off, Spectrum whispered to Foxy, "Those idiots didn't
know about the surprises the suit has."


"What, a force field?  Laser cutters?"


"Nope, no power.  But it does have an onboard waste reservoir."


"Bring me my brown pants, huh?"


"Yeah, we're toast, methinks."

















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